Dilemma about telling friend about her DS

[MorocconOil]

I think I am going to do nothing about this but wondered what other MNs would do in this situation.
A very old friend(Fiona) told me that her DD, 7 had come home from school and told her that a boy in her class had said some very sexually inappropriate things to her. The boy in question has just moved to the school. I also happen to know his Mum (Harriet) well. My DC go to a different school. Fiona was upset and annoyed as she now feels she has to talk about sex to her DD earlier than she would have liked to. Fiona and Harriet don't know eachother. I think Fiona wanted me to mention it to Harriet, but I don't think it is my business, and want to keep out of it. However I do feel uncomfortable knowing this about my friend's DS if she doesn't.I suggested to Fiona that she mention it to the classteacher as a way of sorting it out.
What would you do if anything?

[sniff]

I think if you get involved it could become a bigger problem between adults I would suggest a teacher to and stand well back

[suzywong]

I'd bring it up in conversation as a topic of mild amusement

"Oh, Harriet, you'll never guess what your ds said to my friend Fiona's - do you know Fiona? NO? Well we must all get together for coffee, you'd get on like a house on fire - daughter! He said XYZ! How we laughed."

Harriet will then go back to son and a) box his ears b) call the child psych c) teach him the correct phraseology

[MorocconOil]

She said he'd asked her to go to bed with him and have sex. He hasn't got older siblings.

[Twiglett]

I think you are totally right to think it should be through the teacher

parents have totally different approaches to sexuality and what is appropriate at different ages .. some parents will be offended at something you would feel would be normal for your child ... schools know how to deal with these issues .. also comes up with religion and death discussions unfortunately

taking the assumption that this is all innocent 7 year old behaviour rather than something sinister underlying it

[juuule]

If it was a child of a friend of mine I would speak to my friend if I was going to speak to anyone. I also know that if I spoke to the teacher about it my friend would be hurt and upset that I'd not said anything to her but felt it was okay to tell the teacher. Your friend Fiona I would say that children say things sometimes that they don't fully understand and unless it happens regularly it's best to ignore. I would tell my dd that the boy is being silly (unless she wants to go into explaining what he meant).
Just another thought - is there a possibility that your friends dd thought this up herself and the boy didn't say anything of the sort.
I would probably let it go as a one-off and just keep an eye on the situation if I was Fiona.

[Londonmamma]

We've had a similar situation in my 7 year old DS's class. Lots of children use the word 'sex' and 'sexing', you don't actually need to get in to explanations if you don't want to, it actually is NOT a big deal to them. You can talk with the teacher about the fact that some kids are a bit sexually aware and what would she advise? Some teachers are quite good at diffusing the whole 'sex talk' thing with small children.

HOWEVER a boy in my son's class had obviously been exposed to full-blown pornography and gave a graphic description of Asian women giving each other oral sex! The poor little girl to whom he insisted on imparting this information is now at another school and the boy's family is being monitored by social services. His mother was horrified and unaware that he knew this stuff and really laid into the girl's mother (verbally). It was a horrible horrible situation. I would caution you against talking directly to the mother...

[wheresthehamster]

At our school the children pick up all sorts from Eastenders and other soaps and repeat things without really knowing what they mean.

Hopefully it isn't anything too serious but I don't think I'd get involved apart from maybe something lighthearted like suzy suggested.

[MorocconOil]

Thanks for your comments everyone, it's been really helpful.

I am not going to say anything to Harriet unless she is to bring it up then, I will suggest she talks to Fiona. I still think Fiona should mention it to the class teacher though, as it could be that there is a culture developing of children misinforming eachother about sex. If it was my DC's class I would be concerned and would want the staff to be aware of it and hopefully addressing the issues before any harm is caused.

My dilemma is really about knowing something significant about a friend's child and not feeling able to tell her about it.