Question for those with kids who live in a town as opposed to the country

[earlycomputers]

For those of you with kids who live in a town - can you get away with taking your kids to all their out of school activites/ school/parties/friends' houses/library/sports centre etc etc on foot or do you still have to drive a lot of the time? I am in a dilema as we want to move house but dont know whether it would be more convenient to live in a big town as opposed to a tiny rural village (where we are at the moment). If you do live in a town, what age can you generally allow your kids to take the bus/walk to school on their own/ visit friends houses on their own etc? I am wondering that even if we lived in a town there would still be a lot of driving around to do? Do kids still walk over to friends' houses and ask if they can play with their friends (like we all did in the 70's)? I would like to think our kids could still have a bit of freedom to go out on their own - but not sure what the score is nowadays.

[Lizalu]

I have dd 6yrs and ds 3yrs. We live in a slightly suburban area of a big city. We can walk to lots of places: school, nursery, toddler groups, park, supermarket, shops, swimming pool, library, dd's Rainbow group and dance class. There are plenty of things we have to use the car for as well but can easily get away with not using it for a few days.

We live on a small cul de sac and dd plays out on the street with other children who live here and they come and call for her all the time. Luck, really though, due to being a quiet road and other children to play with. Other playdates with friends from school are all pre-arranged.

DD not at that age but it seems generally children start walking to school, calling for friends, walking to the shops etc at about 11.

[KTeePee]

We live in a town and walk to parks, library, toddler groups, shops. We don't generally walk to school but that was because we chose to send our kids to one further away....

Most after school activiities seem to be closer to school than home so we tend to go by car on the way home.

In some ways if we lived further out from the centre of town we would be able to walk more - to school and activities - but I would miss being able to stroll into town for a cup of coffee and the bustle of living close to the town centre....

Children on our street go to at least 5 different schools so mine don't have any close friends living nearby. Once they are at secondary school they will be able to walk there and at that stage I will probably be happy for them to walk into town to meet their friends or walk to the houses of those who live closest.

[nogoes]

I live in a market town which is great if you have children. Everywhere is within walking distance lots of people are lazy and use their cars but I don't have one and nowhere is more than a 30 minute walk anyway.
A market town is small enough to have a community feel but not so small that everyone knows each others business. Also great for the rare occasion when dh and I get to go out as we can walk to the restaurants without having to bother with taxis.

[pointydog]

One of the main reasons we moved to our dull housing estate is that it's great for the kids walking about to friends, riding bikes round the park, walking to school, going downtown.

From about age 6/7 teh dds have been going to the park or grassy areas with friends.

Dd1 is 10 and just recently she has been going down town and to the library with a friend.

[roseylea]

Earlycomputers I am also in the midst of decision-making baout moving house (and have posted rather a lot about it on other threads! ) This is one of the questions we are asking ourselves. My dh's ideal would be to live in the middle of a forest - very romantic but it would bore the brains out of our 2 dcs and mean that we would be taxi-ing them for the next 16 odd years.

We are looking at houses in villages and towns around Hertfordshire, and haven't really come up with an 'ideal location' yet. Where we live now, in a town, my dd's school is at the end of our road, my ds's pre-school is a 2 min walk away, the playgroup we go to is also a 2 min walk away, we have neighbourhood shops just around the corner and a bus stop into town (which is walkable anyway) so I do appreciate the convenience of all this. We have to drive to a supermarket but we tend to do internet shops anyway. I have to drive to work (I work part-time) but apart from that I drive v. little esp. during the week and the mileage on my car is very low.

The thing I don't like is all the housing packed so tightly together - I'd love more space (one of the reasons for wanting to move!)

We have only recently started looking seriously and as we have, the romantic mists are lifting and we are starting to consider what we really need not only from our home but from the local area as well. Which means sorry dh, you're probably not going to get your log cabin just yet!

[fennel]

I think it really varies depending on the town/village/city and where you live in it. we were living in a city til last year and there seemed to be a lot of driving around. now we live in a little village and are using the car far far less than in the city which officially had better public transport. You have to look at the actual place you are thinking of living in and see what the facilities are like there.

[nogoes]

roseylea, if you want a town with a forest on your doorstep in Hertfordshire, Berkhamsted is just the place. Unfortunately it is very pricy and most of the housing is victorian terraces so you won't get much space.

[brimfull]

we live in a market town ,we can walk to most places and the marvellous thing is that from about age 11-12 dd has been very independent .She can walk to school,friends,get a bus to local big town etc.When they reach the teen years it must be such a pain living a drive away from everything.As it is in the dark winter evenings we have to drop dd off and pick her up from places most evenings,a real pain but it is at most a 3-5 minute drive ,I really feel for her friends parents who live a 10-15 minute drive into town.That small distance really adds up when you have a teen or two.
I would always choose to live in a town with good buses to save your sanity and your teenager!

[brimfull]

also we live in a market town on the edge of the New Forest so dd can cycle to the forest with her friends.

[edam]

We live in a small town in Herts. Chose to buy close to the centre so we can walk to the shops/station/schools - I don't drive (although I am having lessons) and dh doesn't like driving. We'd have more space if we lived further out, or moved to one of the surrounding villages, but we'd be much more dependent on the car.

Ds and the other children in our street (a cul de sac) play together. He's only 3.5 so I don't let him go anywhere on his own yet, but my neighbour's dd, age 6, can walk around the road alone (delivered Christmas cards, for instance). One of the advantages of living here is that all the children on the street go to the same (very good) local school. So when ds is a bit bigger, we won't have to ferry him around as much as other parents do - there are plenty of playmates on his door step.

[Hulababy]

Even when we lived in the city centre we still needed a car for a fair few activities, such as Gymboree and visiting friends to play. We used the trams as much as we could for other stuff and walked to local places such as the library and the swimming pool. School would have still been a drive away though.

[roseylea]

Thanks Nogoes! We have actually looked at a few houses there. We know the area well and do like it. Ashridge is lovely...

[earlycomputers]

Thanks for your replies - they are very helpful. My dp loves old houses in the middle of nowhere which is highly impractical. I want to persuade him that it would be better to live closer to amentities/schools etc

[nooka]

I live in London and don't drive. We mostly use buses/trams/trains and walk a fair bit too. Our school states that children are not allowed to come to school on their own until they are 10, so that's probably a good benchmark. To be honest I think it depends on the amount of traffic in your area and how sensible your child is. I certainly know I had a great deal more independence as a teenager living in London than friends of mine who lived in the country (learning to drive and getting their first car was a huge deal for them). As for popping around to play with friends, I think that mostly depends on how comfortable you are with their friends (and their friends families too). Some kids given freedom do the most incredibly stupid things, whilst others have a great time and grow up very sensibly. So I suspect that it is a dilemma wherever you live!

[NannyL]

I work in the centre of a medium sized town. (house is closer to central train stationthan some areas of the station car park! lol)

we always walk to school
can easily walk to park / library / shops / waitrose etc which is VERY convieniant...

• our local lesiusre centre (inclduong massive pretty much brand new indoor soft play) is just a 5 min walk away.... but that pool is rather manky. so we drive 10miles for a nice one
  
  Given time contraints with school run we drive to babys music class 1.5 miles away, and to big ones music class 10 miles away (the best music class around)
  
  Lots to do at leisure centre but none of it fits in with us so we always drive to tumble tots, 4 miles away as well.
  
  If i didnt have a car i could manage tbh... but we would structure our week differently for a start.