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Parenting

when did your child stop believing?

23 replies

wrigglytoes · 11/10/2016 14:53

Can I ask when did your children stop believing in Santa, tooth fairy, Easter bunny etc? My youngest son is 9, in year 5 but one of the youngest, he has always been quite immature for his age and still believes in all of them. My oldest child (teenager) has told me I should tell him it's not real this year or he will, otherwise the other children at school will laugh at him. I don't think it's right to tell him and ruin it but I don't want him to be teased. My eldest child has always been very sensible/mature and cottoned on to Santa being a fairytale at about 7 or 8!

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braceybracegirl · 11/10/2016 14:55

My DD is almost 9 and seems to 100% believe in father Christmas and tooth fairy. I would tell her but DH doesn't want too. I do wonder though if some of her friends will tell her.

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mumofthemonsters808 · 11/10/2016 14:59

My little one has told me he knows there's no such thing, its his Dad and he also no longer believes there is an Easter Bunny. He is 5 and I'm sure my eldest lasted longer than this.

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ineedamoreadultieradult · 11/10/2016 15:03

DS9 stopped believing aged about 6. Once hevery stopped believing in the tooth fairy the rest just followed. DS6 hasn't 'come out' as a non believer but I'm pretty sure he doesn't. I think a still believing year 5 may find themselves being told by their classmates. It might not even be maliciously they might just all assume he knows already.

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Kim82 · 11/10/2016 15:03

My eldest worked it around around age 8, I had to tell dd1 the summer before she started high school and the 9 year old still believes. I have no intention of telling her yet either. The 2 year old doesn't understand!

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5moreminutes · 11/10/2016 15:12

My older 2 worked father Christmas out together at 5 and 7 and I didn't try to perpetuate it because Dc1 had always been worried by the idea of father Christmas coming into the house while everyone was asleep, and dc2 had initially not really thought it through but was starting to worry about it at 5.

My current nearly 6 yo still believes and the older 2 get more into preteding it's real now they don't believe it, so ironically he may believe the longest, convinced by them.

None of them ever believed in the Easter bunny I don't think, and as my children loose their milk teeth very late we barely got one tooth fairy visit achieved before they knew it was nonsense (though they still get a coin under their pillow) - dc3 still believes I assume (because he still believes anything) but hasn't lost a tooth yet so isn't especially interested.

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Yawnyawnallday · 11/10/2016 15:20

My dd 9 still believes. Not sure if she is bluffing us in case the pressies dry up (of course they won't). She has two more Christmases in primary school. If she still believes after the last one in primary school, I intend to find a less bad time and tell her. My sister had to do this with her now grown up serving police officer son before he started secondary school. She was actually the one who told me. She is such a softie it must have been terrible for her.

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wrigglytoes · 11/10/2016 15:52

Hmm I'm wondering if he is just having me on maybe? I definitely struggle with the tricky questions i.e why don't poor children get things from Santa, so maybe he just keeps the pretence going with me? As a few of you have said if he still believes by the end of primary I might have to get his older brother to spill the beans, can't face doing it myself. Thanks for the advice

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Yawnyawnallday · 11/10/2016 17:25

Polar Express and Arthur Christmas mess nicely with enquiringly minds about this. Rise of the Guardians as well. It's really hard because I try and emphasise a logical scientific explanation for everything. Apart from Santa. And the Tooth Fairy. The EAster Bunny can sod off, though.

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cheekyfunkymonkey · 11/10/2016 17:31

Noooo' don't tell, don't ruin the magic !!

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mrsblackcat · 11/10/2016 17:33

I think younger siblings often twig before eldest ones; I did when my brother told me.

I don't plan to tell mine but I would be thinking of gently telling them the truth soon as I'd be worried about teasing.

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Oblomov16 · 11/10/2016 17:35

Definitely tell by year 6. Would be embarrassing once they get to secondary.

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AmberEars · 11/10/2016 17:39

My DS1 is 10 and in year 6. He appears to believe (unless he's humouring us, but I don't think so!). We're planning to tell him before he starts secondary.

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deepdarkwood · 11/10/2016 17:42

Ime, FC belief lasts longest. Ds had to be told about FC when he went up to secondary - but still pretends to believe. Lots of his mates definitely still believed in year 5. Dd started asking questions about year 3...

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windowsneedaclean · 11/10/2016 17:46

DD is 9, in year 5. Has really been questioning it this year and is about 99% sure he isn't real. Hoping she changes her mind! Really don't want to be the one that says 'no he doesn't exist' so I keep changing the subject Sad

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Onenerfwarfrombreakdown · 11/10/2016 17:47

DS was asking some questions from age 7 but lasted till age 9.

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uhoh2016 · 11/10/2016 20:25

Ds is also 9 and in y5 he has worked it out for himself he didn't need telling as such. He's been questioning for the last couple of years and I've given the "you don't receive if you don't believe " line to which he then kept quiet I suspect more for my behalf than actual believing me. He's got 2 younger siblings so I think he pretends to believe when they are around for their sakes he's only ever questioned santa or actually said he knows it's me and his Dad rather than santa when we've been alone.

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mrsblackcat · 11/10/2016 20:26

Don't you feel a bit uncomfortable with that, uhoh?

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uhoh2016 · 11/10/2016 20:39

Uncomfortable with what???

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mrsblackcat · 11/10/2016 20:58

I suppose making gifts conditional in maintaining an untruth.

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uhoh2016 · 11/10/2016 21:07

Do you mean the "if you don't believe you don't receive " then it's said in a light -hearted way. He's not stupid enough to think that I won't buy him any Xmas presents if he keeps saying santa isn't real. Although it is a line that's adapted in many Xmas movies

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GoodLuckTime · 11/10/2016 22:45

Not sure DD will ever fully believe. She's three. The dummy fairy came to visit recently and because she lived her dummies I made a magical box and illustrated a card for her from the dummy fairy with instructions on when to put the dummies in the box.

She loves getting post and was very excited to look at the card together. When I said 'shall we read it together and see who it's from?' She said 'you mummy - that's your writing!' It hadn't crossed my mind she'd recognise it. She played along but i don't think she really believed...

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Sparklemummyx0x0x · 12/10/2016 18:35

My DS 6ys, nearly 7 still believes. He's never questioned it yet though maybe in his head but I couldn't say for sure. The
The tooth fairy he believes I think. Well he's lost 2 teeth so far and she came and he never said.
He has asked about santa when I'm out buying presents for adults and when he chooses something for his dad. I've had to say the he only brings presents for children and that he only comes to the house where the child lives, that's why I've got presents for my nieces and nephew.

Very confusing for them I'm sure.

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wrigglytoes · 12/10/2016 18:48

Ds2 wanted to know why ds1 no longer wanted to come and see santa at the local shopping centre. I told him it's because they aren't the real santa, they are elves that help santa as he is so busy, he was ok with that Grin

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