DD is 5. Over the weekend we went to one of those indoor high-ropes courses with ILs. DD is only just old enough to go on some of the higher ropes for the first time. She was happy to climb up, but then got scared when it came to actually stepping off the platform and going across a rope (DD isn't very confident, and she often needs a bit of time and encouragement to have a go at new things).
I was trying to gently encourage her to give it a go, but she wasn't confident enough and I could see she was close to tears. I was about to tell her to step back and watch someone else do it (to give her a little breather) when FIL came over. He looked up at DD and said "You're such a scaredy cat!" and started making chicken noises. DD looked really upset and said she wanted to come down. FIL laughed and made chicken noises again.
She came down and sobbed for a while, but then went back to the lower ropes and played on those for the rest of the time.
I was angry with FIL because I felt that he was just shaming her for being nervous. I talked to DH about it afterwards and asked him to have a word with FIL to ask him not to do that again. DH laughed at me and said it wouldn't do DD any harm, and that that was his dad's way of encouraging the DCs to do things. There have been times before when I've heard FIL call the DCs "chickens" and "scaredy" because they wouldn't do something a few days before. I've heard some of DH's siblings tell their DCs "You have to do this or I'll tell Grandpa you were too chicken".
I think this is an awful way to speak to a child, and I know that when I was DD's age, it would have totally put me off even attempting something new (which is the effect it had on DD), but DH says it works for most of them and DD is just a bit too sensitive.
Am I being overprotective here?
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Am I being overprotective about how FIL speaks to DCs?
19 replies
Blup · 09/08/2016 15:44
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