Stopping fighting

[donniemurdo]

My 8yr old DS gets easily frustrated and then very aggressive at some bedtimes. We know that it usually happens when he is overtired and so we manage to avoid it most nights but sometimes it kind of sneaks up on us, like tonight when he started kicking off at about 7.30.

Triggers tend to be things like deciding he wants the book someone else has already chosen, or just being annoyed at being asked to brush his teeth or get into bed. The biggest problem is that he likes to get physical with his siblings (2 younger and 1 older), me or DH and won't stop when asked. Sometimes he tries to hit but it is often things like trying to snatch the book they are reading, sitting on someone, squashing them, or pushing them over. The only way to stop him is to physically move him and as soon as we release him, he goes straight back.

When he's calm, we discuss the inappropriateness of his actions, other more appropriate things he could do instead and apply sanctions. But in the heat of the moment, it is like his brain shuts off and he can only keep doing the thing he's been told not to and not do any of the alternatives we discussed before. I really don't like having to physically move him but don't have any other ideas about what to do "in the moment". Has anyone else?