AIBU to stop ex's family being in my child's life....(7 Posts)
Ok, before you all think the title is me being demon-mother let me give you some background.
My family are very close, we're all stable and respectable. I'm very lucky to have them.
The father of my DC's family, not so much...
Ex's brother is mentally unstable, takes just about every drug he can get his hands on and is a schizophrenic. He was very reliant on his brother, but not in a productive way. He took a huge dislike to me when we got together and tried every which way to bring me down and split us up, more than once he turned up where we lived and threatened me. When I got pregnant he actually put on FB that he was going to kick the baby out of my belly and dance on our grave. He also started a FB page to try to incite hate against me and my baby. At that point, my partner at the time cut him off completely and his brother moved away. Problem solved for us as I was genuinely scared for mine and my baby's wellbeing. (We called the police at the time but this was before they took threats over FB seriously)
His Mother is an alcoholic, and her bf has served time for 'child sex offences' - when I was pregnant I got a visit from social services informing me that I could never leave the child with his mother and I wasn't to let her BF even anywhere near the child (a non-point because that was never going to happen)
We allowed his mother to see DC and for a while that was ok. But she started turning up drunk, or drinking. Then one day my ex cut her off too. (I don't know what happened with them for him to do that and he never said, but he swore our DC wasn't involved so I believe him)
Cut to today, a few years later and we've been separated a couple of years. We were co-parenting well and had managed to remain friendly.
I've just been informed that he is back in contact with his brother who is planning on moving back to the area, and I know it won't be long until his mother is back on the scene.
I'm terrified for my daughters safety.
He swears that his brother won't ever see our DC but I can't trust him with that. He's become a bit of a liar and has lied to me before regarding our DC and where she is when she's with him etc.
I suppose the bottom line is I don't trust him to keep them separate and I genuinely believe that his brother is a threat to DC's safety. Not to mention the mother and her BF.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!
I've spoken with his sister who says I need to ensure DC is never near them, she doesn't let her child have contact with them and doesn't speak to them herself.
Can I, and how do I, stop them getting near her??
He can't control his brother and part of my fear is that he'll just turn up at Ex's house in a rage when DC is there. Once he flips there is no bringing him back from that and my ex is too weak-willed to stand up to him.
Legal advice - you may bbe able to apply for a prohibited steps order, I'm not sure. If he has her for contact he could let them see her. Stopping contact may be the only way. Given the history (do yo have the Facebook evidence still) the courts would take a dim view of himallowing contact.
I still have the screenshots of the FB posts. Although DD is now 5 so they're from when I was pregnant. I think I'll have to see a solicitor. I always swore I'd never be a mother who kept her child from their father but I'm at a loss as to what to do
If he says he's not going to allow them to see her then I think you need to trust him. If he's a good Dad to her and I'm assuming she loves her Daddy why would you want to break that bond. It's his family that is bad not him. I agree you should try and get some sort of legal order in place if you can re his mum and brother but not to her Dad
I would take legal advice. Usually the family court would deem the parents to be responsible enough to protect their children from risks from others. If the father isn't responsible enough to protect the child from his brother then there are bigger concerns there that need to be explored properly.
Uhoh the last thing I'd ever want to do is to keep DC away from her father. That would always be a last resort.
I have genuine fear that if the brother turns up ex doesn't have the ability to stand up to him. The brother is a formidable force once he has lost his temper.
I think the best thing I can do is look into restraining orders or something similar regarding the brother, mother etc?
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