Childcare issues.....

[Writerwannabe83]

I posted a while back about some issues I was having with my childminder and I had some fantastic replies so thank you to all those who remember my thread.

Anyway, I continued to feel uneasy about sending DS there so started to look into nurseries and spoke to my Managers about whether they could arrange my shifts in a certain way to fit in with nursery and this is still being looked at. I also contacted a few other childminders to see if they had any spaces but it all came to nothing.

I continued to send DS to his current CM and things did seem to calm down a little as things seemed to be improving.

Anyway, last week my CM phoned me to say that due to personal circumstances involving one of her daughters there will now be one set day a week that she wouldn't be able to provide childcare on. This has left me and DH in a sticky situation really as we need a childminder who is available 5 days a week and so I told her that we may have to look at withdrawing DS.
Part of me felt that it was actually giving me an easy way out of her being DS's childminder.

The next day I was very surprised to hear back from one of the childminders I had previously contacted who said that she now had space available as of next month if I still needed it. It all seemed to be working out so perfectly.

Me and DH were on a short break during all this so we arranged to visit her when we were back so we're going to her home next week.

Anyway, a few days after I heard from that CM I passed comment to a good friend of mine who used to be a childminder that we are meeting a lady next week about DS, she asked what the CM's name was, I told her and isn't it just typical that my friend knew of her and said she isn't a nice person. She said that she doesn't know what the lady is like as a CM but they had previously clashed and this lady is apparently quite "gobby".

I have actually met this CM a few times, and chatted to her briefly, at a toddler group me and DS go to and she's always seemed very pleasant.

I know I shouldn't make judgements based on a comment my friend made but my optimism for getting a new CM has been dashed and I feel like I'm right back at square one again

It's just so hard leaving your child with someone else isn't it.

I'm sorry there's no actual point to my post, I was just getting it off my chest.

[SamanthaBrique]

I remember your previous thread. I'm surprised you continued sending your DS to the original CM tbh, some of the things she was doing were really out of order. But this new CM doesn't sound great either, though that is just hearsay. Is a nursery really out of the question? Could your DH not do pick ups on the days you're at work?

[Writerwannabe83]

Unfortunately though it wasn't as simple as just withdrawing DS from the childminder because we don't have friends or family who can provide childcare and so we would have been screwed really. Me and DH certainly couldn't have just rang up our employer one morning and tell them that we won't be in for a few weeks, possibly more because we've taken our son out of his childcare setting and have no back-up plan. I can't imagine any working parent would be able to do this.

The problem with nursery is that I do shift work and nurseries only accept set days. I can't book DS in for set days each week because the days I work change from week to week. That's why childminders are so good in my situation as they're really flexible. My current childminder has DS whatever day I need her to, she's also happy to change those days at very short notice if my shift pattern suddenly alters. My DH does all the CM drop offs and pick ups anyway.

My friends comment is just her opinion on the woman so I know I shouldn't put too much weight on it and other people have recommended this CM to me too so it's each to their own I guess.

My friend did recommend another CM to me but it's one I have previously had dealings with and wasn't impressed so I guess my friend's opinions aren't always correct.

DH thinks I'm silly to be getting so worked up about it as just because my friend didn't get on with this CM doesn't mean she isn't a nice person. After all, we all probably know someone who isn't too keen on us but that doesn't mean everyone else should dislike us too.

DH says we should definitely still meet her, which I'm going to, I just hate that my friend's comment is going around in my head.

[Newtobecomingamum]

Could you and your husband meet up with the new possible CM again? Invite her around for tea or lunch or something. That way you and your husband can get to know her a bit better and also see how she is around your child etc?

[Writerwannabe83]

I've met her a few times at a Toddler group, and the first time was because she was actually commenting on DS's name as its not a typically used name and it just so happens to be her son's name too. I've chatted to her casually on 2-3 occasions and I always found her pleasant. The toddler group is two hours long and I can't say I have ever heard her being gobby...

Me and DH are formally meeting her this coming week and will be taking DS with us. When I've seen her at Toddler group she's always seemed very caring towards the children she has with her - the second time we got chatting was because she was tending to one of her young mindees who was upset and who my DS then went up to and kissed and cuddled him

[Florentina27]

Can you check if you gave group 0-5 nursery in your area, I'm also working shifts and it was a struggle to find nursery to work around my schedule... They have more options on programs and also they were willing to work on a schedule setted by me as long it was within the opening hours. Good luck

[Florentina27]

And one of the reasons I prefer a nursery is that they will have back up people to look after your child while if CM is sick etc you have to work around them

[NickyEds]

I remember your last thread, it seems like a good "out" with your current cm but it must be a total pita. I'd definitely still meet with the other cm. If you've met her a couple of times at toddler groups before she knew you were looking for a cm and seen her interacting with her mindees then she must be worth a proper interview. I go to a couple of toddler groups and tbh some of the cms are rubbish, obviously some are lovely too but they do seem to behave normally so to speak. I know it sounds silly but I think you can tell quite a lot by watching them "at work" but without any parents there. How good a friend is it that has said this?

[Writerwannabe83]

It was a very good friend who said it

We did go and meet the CM and me and DH just didn't take to her at all. There was nothing specific, just lots of little things that made me feel like I couldn't send DS to her. Within five minutes of being there my DH said, "I don't like her." When we left I was quite upset as I really hoped it would have been the answer to our prayers.

Anyway, the following day my friend contacted me to ask how we'd got on, I told her we hadn't gotten a good vibe and my friend said she was so relieved. She then told me of a nursery she knows of which is family run and it was originally a childminding business (that's how my friends knows of it) and said she knew one of the ladies who ran it so would give them a call on my behalf. About twenty minutes later my friend called me back, passed on the details of the nursery and said they had space for DS if I wanted to ring them. I phoned them immediately and me and DH went to visit that night and it was just perfect!!! Everything about it met our needs and wishes, it really was too good to be true.

Me and DH knew instantly it was the best place for DS and signed the contract there and then. He had his first taster session yesterday and it appears he had so much fun.

His official start date is the first week of June and he's going there once weekly until then, just for short sessions, so he can get used to it.

I'm so happy and so relieved!!!

[Florentina27]

That's great news, happy for you :)