can't cope

(17 Posts)
twobears Sun 03-Apr-16 18:54:33

I've had enough, I want out!!!!!!!!!!!!

MonsterINTHECupboard Sun 03-Apr-16 19:10:55

Is it something in particular, or everything you can't cope with. Hope you're OK?

twobears Sun 03-Apr-16 19:17:51

Got two small children, dh at work. And I've had enough!
I've just screamed at them at bed time they are sleep and I'm sat her crying with a shit tip of a house to sort. Same shot every day

FriendofBill Sun 03-Apr-16 19:19:34

You screamed at them when they are asleep?
Won't that wake them and upset them?
Have I read that right?

twobears Sun 03-Apr-16 19:21:59

No whilst trying to do bed time. They are now both asleep and I'm feeling guilty about screaming.

Have gone in and kissed hugged and apologised.

But feel awful, look awful and the house is an utter mess which seems to just be making things worse

SweetieXPie Sun 03-Apr-16 19:26:02

Please don't feel guilty, we have all been there, honestly, I have three, husband who works long hours and it is tough.
I am constantly loosing my temper, it seems to make things worse when the house is a mess as you know that will fall on you to sort out!
Please hang in there, I have recently sat down with my DH and told him I am finding it hard to cope, I appreciate he works hard, but I need some help!
Do you think you could talk to your DH about giving you some time off. flowers for you, honestly don't give yourself such a hard time.

twobears Sun 03-Apr-16 19:58:21

Have told dh before how lonely and hard I find it. I completely broke down he help for a day or two.

They are his children why can't he see/ hear that they need something. Me telling him just winds me up more.

I've really had enough I'm a bad parent, wife and friend ( I have no friends).

I just want to leave and never come back

bingisthebest Sun 03-Apr-16 20:02:14

It's so hard isn't it? I am struggling a lot with my dcs at the mo.
I felt all I did is shout last few days.
But you are only human and they are all tucked up in bed now so you have done a good job. Have a quick tidy then sit on the sofa and enjoy the quiet for a bit.
Try and not think about tomorrow you have got through today that's all you need to know right now.
But you are not the only one. It's a tough job.

twobears Sun 03-Apr-16 20:05:48

Thank you

mopants Sun 03-Apr-16 20:13:37

Have been exactly where you are so many times. It's taken over four years of constantly shouting and crying and my husband is nearly at the point where he will help without being asked. Do you have Homestart in your area? I would visit your GP, tell them you are finding it hard, they can help. Even if you don't feel you need medical help they can point you in the right direction for some practical help. Is your health visitor any good? Mine is excellent at finding out what help is available and actually getting it put in action. You are not a bad parent, you are just finding it hard right now. But nobody ever said it was easy!! We all go through tough times, and we all lose our temper chocolate because I don't drink and can't have flowers in the house I always turn to the chocolate instead

OzzieFem Sun 03-Apr-16 20:24:23

Sounds like you need a break. What about relatives, can they come and give you a hand. You don't mention how old the children are, so is there any chance a touch of post natal depression is present?

You might also want to visit your GP and get some bloods taken, as you may be lacking some iron or vitamins that may make you feel better. flowers cake

twobears Sun 03-Apr-16 20:33:41

My mum and mil just fill ds with sugar then leave making it even harder.

Been thinking about making an apt at dr but then I have a couple of good weeks.

Nearly 3 and 7months

mopants Sun 03-Apr-16 20:49:48

Phone doctors first thing tomorrow and be honest when you're there. I find I play down how I'm feeling until I am so bad I can't help but cry. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Toddlers and babies are hard work. Even more so if you don't have someone to back you up and support you.

BiftasWifta Sun 03-Apr-16 21:19:39

I've been there. God, some days I'm still there. It's fucking hard being a parent, nobody warns you about how hard it is.

You are not a bad mum, otherwise you wouldn't have written this post. Do you think you need to have a chat with your GP? How old are your DCs?

BiftasWifta Sun 03-Apr-16 21:20:54

Sorry just saw your post. No wonder your struggling, mine are 6 and 1 so one of them is at school all day and I still have moments like yours flowers

mopants Sun 10-Apr-16 11:52:06

Did you get to the doctors? Has your week been any better?

BotBotticelli Sun 10-Apr-16 14:26:27

Op I completely sympathise! I have a 3.4yo and an 8mo and my husband is out f the house at work from 7am-7pm Monday till Friday.

It's a fucking nightmare some days! And the older one goes t nursery 3 days per week so if you have them both all week then you are a bloody superwoman!!! I think:

It's normal to find this very very hard.
It's ok to ask for help - from GP or health visitor.
It's ok to want a few hours per week to yourself - do you ever leave the kids with your OH at the weekend for half a day?? Sometimes I just have enough and walk out for Saturday morning and feel much better for leaving them...!
I yell loads. Don't beat yourself up - nobody is perfect and your kids will be fine. Tell the. You're sorry and my love them.

Are you going back to work any time soon?? I am going back in 4 months when ds2 is 1 and I cannot fucking wait!!! Sahm is not for me!

Also - I felt like you describe after my first son was born and after 11 months finally went on a low dose anti anxiety/antidepressant medication. Felt loads better almost immediately. I shouted a lot less when I was on the medication, it really helped with my anger, which was linked to anxiety j think. The drug was called Citalopram, you should maybe ask your GP about it?

Hang in there. It's bloody hard work with 2

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