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Parenting

Leaving 5 month old breastfed baby for 2 nights. Crazy??

18 replies

Ficidy · 07/03/2016 10:58

When my now 3 month old was about 2 weeks old and I was seriously sleep-deprived, I booked 2 nights away for myself and my dh for when he'll be 5 months old. It's for my husband's 40th birthday.

Anyway, I am exclusively breastfeeding and now I am really regretting booking the trip away. I feel like I won't be able to leave him and really shouldn't, since he'll still be so young. The only thing is that my dh is really looking forward to it.

Is there any way I could go and leave him? Have any of you BF mamas done this when baby was still so young? I don't think I can go, but I'm just looking for other people's experiences.

OP posts:

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splendide · 07/03/2016 12:21

I think you're looking at this in the wrong way (respectfully). You can go of course, it won't kill DS, but if you don't want to then I don't see the point. I think it'll be quite tough on both of you and it was me I'd rearrange for when he's a little older.

I really want to emphasise that I don't think going would make you neglectful or a bad mum or anything! It'll just be epically tiresome with the expressing and hoping DS takes a bottle and worrying about him. I have a (still!) breastfed 16 month old and could leave him no bother now but at 5 months it would have been more of a pain than it was worth (for me).

Didiusfalco · 07/03/2016 12:32

No, in practical terms i wouldnt. I went away for one night from ebf dc1 at 5 months old to a friends wedding. Was gone about 24 hours. I expressed in advance and dc had a bit of formula too (and was very well looked after by my mum), but i had underestimated how much i would need to pump to compensate. Instead of having a lovely nights sleep i was up at 4.00 in the morning in quite a lot of pain crying as i tried to pump enough off to get some sleep - was not worth it.

Booboostwo · 07/03/2016 13:35

How effective are you at pumping? I never managed to get much milk from pumping so it was always easier to stay with the baby. You may have to start pumping now to have enough for when you go.

Will your DC take a bottle? Both of mine refused but some babies are fine.

You'll have to pump regularly through your break, especially at night, or risk being in quite a lot of pain.

Dixiechick17 · 07/03/2016 19:04

My DD had one bottle of expressed milk a day from 2 weeks old, then at around four months refused it, it took me until she was seven months to get her to take a bottle again. What I am saying is that not everything is a guarentee, also the commitment you will need to make to expressing over those days may affect your time away too. Personally I would delay it, I've left my DD with my Mum overnight, but would struggle with two nights and she is now fully bottle fed, I've already cut a hen weekend in April down to one night as I don't feel ready for a whole weekend, and my DD will be ten months. Obviously, everyone is different and some are fine with it.

Biscuitsneeded · 07/03/2016 19:09

I think it would be very tricky. But at 5 months he will at least nap quite a bit. Couldn't you take him with you wherever you're going? It would still be a lovely break...

Honeymoonmummy · 07/03/2016 19:15

I couldn't have done this at 5 months without taking baby along. Sorry

gonetoseeamanaboutadog · 07/03/2016 20:27

I'm sorry but I think you are right.

TheJiminyConjecture · 07/03/2016 20:32

I did it, the weeks before I got DC used to a bottle and slowly cut down feeds from me and gave a bottle. Went away Monday and bf before I went, stayed away Tues (expressed in shower) and came home weds, bf as soon as I landed. I then continued to bf as I had previously. I might have been lucky but I managed to build my supply back up and continued to feed. I wasn't in any pain when I was away either, couldn't have gone any longer though.

SoftSheen · 07/03/2016 20:37

I don't think that it is realistic to leave an EBF 5 month old for 48 hours and expect any of you to enjoy the experience much.

You will need to get the baby used to taking a bottle, and build up a supply of expressed milk. Whilst you are away, you will need to pump milk every few hours to maintain supply.

Whilst I don't think you should feel guilty about leaving your baby if you choose to do so, the reality is that you are likely to be uncomfortable and the baby is likely to be unsettled.

Either take the baby with you or delay the trip until he is a year or so old, when things should be much easier.

JassyRadlett · 07/03/2016 20:45

I went to a wedding when DS1 was 9 months, I fed him at 11am before we left and by 5pm I was in total agony and hand expressing in the loos. Resulted in a blocked duct and mastitis.

I guess it's doable, if you can express and if the baby will take a bottle, but you need to make sure you're able to take regular breaks to express. I wouldn't want to, it would be pretty grim I think.

SliceOfLime · 07/03/2016 20:56

To me, two nights is a long time to be away from a 5 month old - is he used to spending long periods of time away from you? I guess not if he is ebf? Think about the amount of time and effort you'll have to put into expressing and introducing bottles, and how your baby will feel at you suddenly disappearing for such a long period of time. Plus, if he won't take a bottle, you simply can't go without him! Can you take him with you? If not, I'd cancel.

BingoBonkers · 07/03/2016 21:46

I went away overnight when DC3 was 5mo and I ended up pumping a fair bit whilst away probably pumped more than I would actually BF. As much as I was looking forward to a relaxing break and sleep my boobs were so painful. Sleeping on them was awful and despite pumping I couldn't wait to get home and BF so my boobs could be properly drained!!

Ficidy · 07/03/2016 21:49

I can't take him with me unfortunately. To answer one of your questions, the longest I've ever been away from him is one evening for just an hour and a half when I had to go in to work for an emergency meeting. I thought I'd never get home to him.

I'm annoyed with myself for being so foolish and booking this break. I guess I didn't realise that breastfeeding would work out so well and that I'd want to keep doing it.

Now, just to break the news to my husband...

OP posts:

Biscuitsneeded · 10/03/2016 17:57

Could you postpone for another few months? You might find you're still breastfeeding even then, but once your DC is eating solids and drinking something other than breastmilk it wouldn't be so difficult for you to go away...

prettybird · 10/03/2016 18:43

If you don't think you'd be happy, you should re-consider. Don't waste 2 precious nights with your dh being miserable.

On the other hand, I was back at work ft from when EBF ds was 4.5 months old (only 4 months guaranteed back then to go back in to the same job), so I was used to expressing. I went away for a week with dh when ds was 6 months old (long story) and left enough expressed milk for while I was away (!) and expressed and froze while I was away.

Yes I missed ds while I was away but I still had a good time and both he and I were happy to see each other when I got back. He was looked after by a combination of my mum and dad and my SIL, so I knew he was in good hands.

PearSoup · 10/03/2016 20:01

I wouldn't to be honest. Can you rebook somewhere else where you can all go away?

feelinginthedark · 12/03/2016 02:01

I left DD2 at 5 months (had reduced a planned 2 night work trip to just the one night) and unfortunately breastfeeding never was the same again; I think the single day of bottles coincided with her becoming more aware and totally distracted, she started reverse cycling like mad and refusing boob during the day; we struggled on but ended up stopping bf at 7 months (although I pumped exclusively for a while afterwards). I still regret going away even though it was valuable from a work point of view

Writerwannabe83 · 12/03/2016 09:26

I wouldn't. The first time I was away from my EBF son was when he was 7 months old (and only for 6 hours), so he was obviously on some solids too at that age, but after about 4-5 hours my breasts were very heavy, sore and uncomfortable.

I then left him again at 9 months so I could go out for a Christmas Party but because I missed his bedtime feed my breasts were really tender and painful just from missing that one feed.

I went back to work when DS was ten months old and I was still having to express twice a work. I physically couldn't manage more than 6 hours without needing to express as my breasts just hurt.

I can't even imagine how horrific it would be to leave an exclusively breast fed baby for 48 hours for your poor breasts. You'd be on the pump every three hours so it doesn't sound like you'd be able to have much fun or relaxing time anyway....

Tell DH to go on his own - I bet he'd love the peace and quiet with the luxury of two uninterrupted nights sleep!!!

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