Just that really. I have a 14 month old daughter who I love more than anything, she's wonderful. I went back to work 4 months ago, doing 4 days a week, so she's in nursery those days, and we get one full day a week just the two of us. I also have quite a lot of travel in my job and can be away for up to a week every couple of months. Her dad works full time.
My problem is I feel like I'm damaging our bond by working so much. She isn't that interested in me, but as soon as daddy comes in her eyes light up and she dashes over to him for a cuddle. If I'm holding her and he's there she pushes me away and wants him instead. The other day she started wailing just because he left the room and she was stuck with me! I play with her lots, take her out to places and give her lots of love but it doesn't seem enough. I guess I'm just looking for some reassurance, I can't help but think I have messed everything up by leaving her so much. I don't want to leave her, I've tried to cut my hours at work but they won't let me, and we'd struggle financially if I quit (although I am tempted). I just wonder if this is a phase and if she'd be doing this regardless of whether I worked. I just feel constantly guilty, either because I'm not giving her enough because I'm working so much, and then if I take time off I feel guilty for not doing enough at work. I don't care about work and would much rather be with my daughter, but it's a good career so I need to put the work in to keep it going, and it would be difficult to get back into if I left. Any (preferably non-judgemental, I'm struggling to keep it together as it is!) thoughts much appreciated - do all toddlers do this or am I really damaging our relationship?
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Mum working full time and baby wants dad not me.
20 replies
Cloud10 · 23/02/2016 08:37
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