3rd child, terrible sleep patterns, at the end of my tether...

[sydenhamhiller]

My 3.5 year old DC3 has always been a terrible sleeper. Terrible. Up about 8 times a night was normal. For the past year, she has either slept through the night, or shouted out a couple of times between 12-5 am. Sometimes she is just shouting in her sleep, and so we don't need to respond/ don't get up, but it is loud enough to wake us. From a different room!

I don't understand why this pattern has continued for 3.5 years, as we don't turn the light on, give her a cuddle, or discuss anything: I just stand in the doorway and hiss "it's night time, be quiet, go to sleep." I loved Dr Tanya and House of Tiny tearaways. I have 2 older children, I feel like I should be able to solve this...

This past week has been horrendous. No triggers (no illness, change of routines etc). Waking 5-8 times, and just bellows "muuuuuuum, muuuuuum, muuuuuuuum". I go to her doorway, hiss 'go to sleep'. She stops, I go straight back to bed and 20 minutes later, just as I am dropping off, it starts again. I have tried not going and ignoring, and she gets louder and louder and cries and makes herself sick. And if anytime from 5 onwards, then wakes my 10 and 12 year old.

We have tried reward charts/ stickers, and also "if you shout in the night then no cbeebies", the carrot and the stick. Doesn't seem to make any difference. She just shouts "mummY I just want you". I am a SAHM, she goes to preschool/ also has time at home just with me - it's the same balance with me my others had. I don't get it...

I am so so so so tired from 3 years of broken sleep. I am run down with one cold/ cough/ sinusitis bout after another. My DH and I are arguing like never before. I have never felt quite so desperate in 12 years of parenting - any advice gratefully received. (I have started to fantasise about just walking out of the house to the car and driving off somewhere in my pjs.)