DD1 has just turned three and it's like a switch has been flicked. She is constantly whinging and getting upset because she doesn't want the blue fork, she wanted her toast in triangles, no I want to put my bib on, I can't do it! Do you want me to help you? NO! You get the idea... Her little sister was born 9 months ago and she is definitely in a renewed phase of struggling with that (maybe because DD2 is getting more mobile?) Anyhoo, mealtimes are becoming unbearable.
She started getting picky about tea shortly before her sister was born - suddenly refusing foods she used to like and refusing to eat anything in a sauce. Fast forward to today and every single step is a battle. Getting her to sit down, getting her to eat any meal. I've tried giving her choices, (do you want the red cup or the blue? GREEN!) getting her involved in the food prep (she's not keen), choosing what she wants and buying the ingredients at the shop (but I don't LIKE baked beans. But that's what you chose?!?!?!). I'm very confident that this isn't about the food. She is testing boundaries like there's no tomorrow and she's found a fertile arena in mealtimes because I keep failing to keep my cool. I just don't know how to enforce the boundaries without resorting to tactics I was brought up with that I don't want to perpetuate - you have to eat at least three bites, no pudding until..., eat it or go hungry etc.
I get that in the moment it's the end of the world that her fork is blue rather than pink, and that she's changed her mind and doesn't want the baked beans she asked for 10 minutes ago but I am at a completely loss as to what I say to her, when I do whatever it is she wants (getting the pink fork out of the washing up, giving her a new piece of toast cut into the "right" shape) and where I enforce a limit. I dont want to make a thing of food. but we seem to be in a vicious cycle and I don't know how to stop it.
Can anyone offer fresh perspective? how do I hold limits at mealtimes without making it about the food?
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Gentle parents - how do you set limits around food?
8 replies
Mafiti · 09/02/2016 21:51
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