Move from cot to bed or not?

[mrsmugoo]

My DS is 20 months and sleeps in a cotbed with pillow and duvet. He goes to sleep by himself and in the morning wakes up and quietly lies with his eyes open or plays with soft toys. He's never tried to climb out - on the surface of it there's absolutely no need to move him out of the cot!

However, I am pregnant with number 2 due in June when he'll be 2.3 and we only have 2 bedrooms so when baby is ready to move out of our room they will have to share a room (yes I am dreading this).

In his room along with his cotbed is a double bed that was our guest bed, obviously since he moved into the room it's not really a functioning guest room anymore but we have just never got round to doing anything with the bed so it has stayed.

I am thinking maybe it would be a good idea, before the baby arrives so he doesn't see the move in any way linked with the new baby to move him to sleeping in the double bed with a bed guard on it? That way he is nicely settled in his new big boy bed and we don't have to deal with him trotting into our room with a newborn in there, waking it up! And when baby is ready to move in with him, he'll already be in his big bed and there shouldn't be too much change for him, other than little one sleeping in the cotbed at the same room as him. I envisaged little one taking day time naps in the cotbed when it starts doing proper naps to get used to the big cot.

DH thinks I am crazy for upsetting the apple cart and that we should leave him in the cot as long as possible.

What do you think? I think we will move to a bigger house in 2-3 years but can't see another way round having them sharing in the first instance and want to pre-empt any issues.

[NickyEds]

Just marking my place. We have a 23 month old and an 18 week old dd. We're not in the same situation as we have a bedroom we're keeping as the nursery and a room that's going to be ds' "big boy" room but we don't have to move ds any time soon as we have a crib in our room for dd which will last her for a while. Ds sleeps really well so I'm nervous about rocking the boat too much too!
We've more or less decided to do the room up with a toddler bed and give him a go in it- if it affects his sleep he goes back into the cot for another month or so and we try again. If push comes to shove I'll buy another cot off gumtree for dd rather than rush him into a bed! Could you just give him a go in the double and see how you go?

[mrsmugoo]

Yeah I could try it and if it doesn't work out go back in the cot for a bit.

More just trying to convince DH that I'm not meddling for no reason when we have it so easy with DS in his current set up!

[KatyN]

Will your dh or family not want to double bed for sleeping in when the baby arrives??
I can't remember how long they stay in a Moses basket so maybe moving him out pre baby makes sense.

My son has never got out of his bed (especially since the introduction of the gro clock) so it might be fine putting him in a big bed!

[mrsmugoo]

No my DH stays in our room we have never done separate rooms even with a newborn - he stays with me for moral support. He usually sleeps through night feeds anyway, lucky bugger.

Unfortunately family can't stay in that room because it's DS's bedroom now and they would disturb him or he would disturb them. That is the downside of only having a 2 bedroom apartment, now we don't have a guest room and we can only offer a sofa which is ok for the odd friend but not for parents.

We do want to upsize but we can't afford it at the moment.

[minipie]

Hmm depends how quickly you will need the cotbed after DC2 is born. If you can wait till DC2 is 4+ months (or ideally 6+ months) then I'd say leave things as they are and tackle it then. If however you would need to move DS in the first few months after DC2 is born then tis better to do it now.

[mrsmugoo]

No we have a compact cot that fits in the corner of our room. DS1 stayed in it until he was 7 months old and I anticipate DC2 will stay in it as long or even longer (ideally until sttn). DS was on one wake up when we moved him but I can't have a little one crying at 5am when there's an older toddler in the same room so may have to stay in with us longer.

[3rdrockfromthesun]

I would move him before the baby arrives. This way he will have hopefully forgotten that the cot was his iyswim?

[minipie]

Hmm you see I think if you put him in a bed now he's quite likely to want to get up and come into your room if he hears you up with the baby in the night. (due to novelty of mummy being awake in the night/jealous of baby getting cuddles in the night etc) And then you have to deal with 2 of them! Whereas if you keep him in the cot till baby is 6+ months and hopefully sleeping fairly well, you can then change him to a bed and you will hopefully be past any such jealousy/novelty issues. And at least if he wakes when the baby is new, he stays in the cot. I don't think he'll mind the baby getting "his" cot by then, more likely he'll be terribly keen to be a big boy and have a big boy bed...

[Juniper4004]

I'm in a similar position. DD will be 2.3 when baby is born.

I plan on keeping DD in her cot until baby is about 3 months old, then moving her to her toddler bed. Baby will (hopefully) be able to sleep in the crib in our room until s/he's 6 or 7 months old... and hopefully by that point DD will have forgotten the cot is hers!

I read that it's best to not make big changes 3 months before or after baby's born. We decided DD was too young when she turned 2, so it'll have to be 2.6!

[Ridingthegravytrain]

We did this with our 2 year old a few weeks ago. He stopped napping and started getting up and coming downstairs. Suffice to say the cot sides are back on! But it's worth a go..

[YBR]

I have done that, and would do it again, with the omission of the bed guard.
Both DDs moved into "adult" single beds around 18-20mo. They reveled in the freedom for less than a week before settling back to routine.

w.r.t. bed guards, they introduce the possibility that a child can get stuck in them or climb over thus fall from higher, and its very unlikely that the child will be hurt anyway. If it's a normal height bed just make sure there's nothing on the floor that they shouldn't land on and put some rolled up towels down the side of the bed under the sheet. If you're still worried put the cot mattress on the floor for a soft landing.

[knittingbee]

I would leave things as they are for a bit, just from my own experience.

DC1 was a very different baby to DC2. We ended up co-sleeping for periods with DC2 (which we never did and were quite agaimst with DC1) just because it was the best way for us to get any kind of sleep. DC1 went into his own room at about 6 months. DC2 didn't until 10 months, it just wasn't worth it as she woke and would easily go back to sleep if she was next to me.

I reckon it's worth gauging what your baby will be like before rocking the boat.

[Diddlydokey]

I would do it now. We waited until he could climb and then he could also climb the stairgate over the door. I'd do it now before the climbing enters his head

[mrsmugoo]

Thanks for all the advice. I think we're going to make a decision in 3 months, around his 2nd birthday. I jus can't decide at the moment, hopefully I will decide by then!