What do you do with your 10 month olds?

[RattleAndRoll]

My DS is happy playing on his own. He'll play with toys sitting in the floor, cruise around his activity table, practice walking with his walker, crawl along with toys etc.

But I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing with him really. He's so happy playing on his own. I try to read a book with him but he gets bored easily and only likes the 'that's not my' books. Rather than ABC or number books.
I'll put shapes into the sorter with him and say 'ooh red triangle goes in this hole' rest it there and wait for him to bash it in and say well done.

But I find most of the time I'm just sat watching him or on my phone / watching TV or cleaning, tidying, washing, ordering food shopping etc.

We do go out to the swings, for walks over the park or picnics, to the beach and go to soft play. Obviously go to the shops and into town too.

But I'm not sure how much I should be playing with him at home and how much I should be letting him explore. Sometimes he'll come with me if I go to the kitchen or to the loo, other times he'll see I'm leaving and just carry on playing.

How much time do you spend playing with your 10 month olds? What do you do? Do they play by theirselves?

Thank you.

[lornathewizzard]

My DD is 11 months,but sounds similar. She plays happily by herself whilst I sit on the couch or get stuff done. She'll come up to me sometimes and play and sometimes I'll play with her, but she just gets on with it really. Other than that we go walks, a singing group once a week and normally out for lunch with friends once a week or 2. Thinking of putting her birthday present trike together and we can go and try that.

[RattleAndRoll]

Thanks for replying Lorna.
I just feel like I should be doing more playing / learning with him. Like reading, learning colours, numbers, letters, nursery rhymes etc
I feel like I'm not doing what he needs.
But then if I try to read with him he gets bored and wants to play so I let him. I think he's only a baby let him play and do stuff with him when he wants.
But then I think i should be proactive teaching him things otherwise he'll be at a disadvantage at school.
I'm constantly arguing with myself over what I should be doing. Feel guilty if I'm not doing something with him but feel like I'm forcing him to do stuff if I try to get him to look at books with me.

[pipnchops]

I have the opposite situation with my 8mo DD, she only likes to play when I'm sat next to her. Admittedly I don't have to do much I just have to sit there and watch her play, but if I leave the room she gets upset. I'm hoping it's just a phase. We go out to a few mother and baby groups, singing, swimming etc as I get a bit tired of sitting on the floor watching her play for hours on end.

Something she loves when we're at home is me reading to her, we started with the "that's not my" books but she is bored with them now and she prefers books with flaps she can lift. "Dear Zoo" is a good one and there's a couple by the Julia Donaldson which she loves, "Fox's Socks" and "Postman Bear".

[lornathewizzard]

I'm no expert (and DD is my first) but I'm pretty sure the learning they do at this age is through watching and playing, they pick up loads from just pottering about. I know its hard not to worry. I try to do a story before bed but that often gets batted away! But she does like to play with the books (and pull them out!)
I'm sure if you think about it there are loads of things DS has already learned to do (DD newest is 'all done' with the hands out haha)

[AbbeyRoadCrossing]

I do pretty much the same as you OP! We try to go out every day to something e.g. rhyme time at the library, or children's centre bit don't always manage this, or at least for a walk with him in the buggy. But yes, at lot of him playing on the floor with his things while I get stuff done at the moment. I do comment on what he's doing, e.g. "ooh you've got a red square" and I'm hoping they can learn this way too
Funnily enough a few months ago I was posting about him not wanting to be put down! Now he seems to like doing his own thing.

[squizita]

Re books - single word books and picture only books are fine ... getting them to understand the concept of "book" comes first.

[squizita]

Marketing has us all feeling guilty.
But at this age they've just started getting basic cause and effect, categorising things like "animal"/"object" as different etc.
Maths and reading are not appropriate they should be learning by living and informal chatty play, animal noises, banging a spoon on a pan etc.

If you remember that "baby Einstein" DVD stuff a few years ago was found to do nothing ... it was parodied on The Simpsons.

[ohthegoats]

I have a friend who was/is a head teacher. She was a SAHM for her boys until the youngest went to school. She never taught them even how to write the letters of their name. "My job is to give them a love of learning, school is to teach them to write and count." She did amazing things with them, really creative... but it was all about play. Building things, making things (including just making a mess), being out and about and doing normal life activities etc.

Those boys are both very social, and are succeeding at school.

She might be right, she might be wrong in her approach, but certainly she wasn't doing anything with numbers and letters with her

[squizita]

Goats YY almost identical here. Except I sing her classics of disco (which also have a lot of counting to be fair).
My mum is a retired early years specialist and says what your friend does.

[Buglife]

I'm of the opinion that my DS knows I'm there and when he wants me to join in he makes it clear :) he's 10 months and I'm having a slightly different experience now because while he can stand supported and holding onto furniture for long periods and walk with held hands he still doesn't like to crawl (backwards shuffle on his belly!) and doesn't pull himself to standing, so I'm now sat on the floor with him a lot so he can pull himself to stand every 5 minutes all bloody day or sitting by whichever furniture I've stood him against :) he spins round on his bum to get his toys so he can sit and play alone though. I'm a firm believer of getting things done with baby in tow so I give him toys to play with in the highchair while I do dishes, and in the nice weather he plays with a washing bowl of water and cups while I hang out washing and weed. He sits for ages going through a touchy feely book and studying them intently. I think the joy of letting them get on with playing alone is watching them puzzle things out and learn to use them! DS is of the personality to sit and focus on one toy or set of toys (his shape sorters and stacking rings etc) and spend a while on them. Through work I've always learned that talking talking talking is the most important thing though. The difference between 'high talking' and 'low talking' families is clear in a child's vocabulary when they get to school and it doesn't always 'catch up'. So as long as I'm mainly in the room, chatting away and asking questions and singing etc, and responding to the arms out 'muhmuhmuh' when it happens, I'm confident he's getting enough from me :) we go out every day but sometimes it's just a walk or shops rather than a group.

[Christelle2207]

Once he is cruising/walking he will take a bigger interest in the world around him including toys etc. Sounds like you're doing a grand job. I think a good idea to take him out loads as well, not necessarily to baby groups but my toddler always finds sainsbury's fascinating. At this stage they're mostly taking it all in

[squizita]

My dd loves parks. A wander round is deeply fascinating to her! I point to things and say what they are, but apart from that I just put the cup holder on the pushchair to good use lol.

[HeadDreamer]

I do housework and work work on my laptop. They don't need us to play with them. Just wait till they are older and they will keep mummying you, non stop. Enjoy the me time.

[HeadDreamer]

And yes take them to places that interests you. Unless soft play is something you really enjoy, you don't have to go. The number of parents taking crawling babies to them always baffles me. I can't see what the babies get to explore that's not free at their own home.

[GlitterTwinkleToes]

He sounds just like my Dd but she's 16 months old! Rather play by herself then let 'silly mummy' join in
Carry on with what your doing, it's all good. Just wait till he's walking he'll be into everything now that's a fun phase to go through.

Do you do any craft work? Pieces of paper, paint, crayons? Lots of mess but lots of fun

[ohthegoats]

Mine loves being outside too - I just put her on a rug on the building site lawn, and let her roam around/eat whatever she finds etc. She's happy in a buggy and a carrier, but really likes being in the bike seat. Does a lot of loud chattering and squealing when she's in it. But that's just me going about my business, or trying to get her out of my way for a bit, rather than doing anything properly entertaining with her.

Squizita - the song we sing most to her is the Gambler by Kenny Rogers. There's a life lesson in there if not anything academic...

You've got to know when to hold 'em
Know when to fold 'em
Know when to walk away
And know when to run
You never count your money
When you're sittin' at the table
There'll be time enough for counting
When the dealin's done

Which is all useful stuff for an 8 month old.