Is there light at the end of the tunnel?

[mermaid101]

I have a 3 year old dd and a DS who is 10 months old. I feel like I have "hit a wall" a bit. My DH and I are exhausted.

Although my DS does sleep fairly well, he wakes between 4.30 and 5.30 every day. If he wakes closer to 4.30, we can normally contain him till about 5.30.

He is really "full on", so the minute you get up with him, it's all systems go!

We don't really have much family help so we're on our own pretty much.

I just feel like every day is such an effort. I've got pmt just now, so I know that makes everything worse, but I just feel drained.

I thought the first six months with 2 would be really hard, but I'm not feeling any let up.

Can anyone reassure me that things might start getting a bit more manageable any time soon. Or am I being a wimp?

[BanKimoon]

Bumping for you. I'm pregnant with #2 and can see myself in your position in a year's time. I'm already shattered, the idea of dealing with two makes me want to cry. All my friends with 2 say it gets better from 6 months and after a year you see an improvement again. I think once they can play and interact together it'll be easier, so you're probably nearly there!

DS did the early waking thing for 6 months + - are you doing split shifts with your DH and taking turns to 'lie in' until 7ish?

Good luck, come back a year from now and tell me reassuring stories when I'm in the thick of it!!!

[mermaid101]

Thanks bankimoon!
We do take turns for the "lie in". It does make a bit of a difference, but I think we're both running on empty now.

I had anticipated a tough first six months, but I had hoped thing would be a bit better by now. I suppose in a way they are, but I think I'm finding two a bit tough in general.

They do interact now and have a lovely relationship and that is so good to see and makes us so happy. It's just the day to day grind that's getting us down. Maybe like you say, there will be an improvement when DS gets to a year. That's not long to go now.

Good luck with your second. Lots of my friends have two and they don't seem to be finding it too bad, so don't worry. I think it might be just us! Do you have people around to help you? I think that can make a big difference!

[BanKimoon]

I think you're being harsh on yourself. No one I know finds it easy. I know I'm not in a position to preach but I think you need to be wary of setting 'deadlines' for improvement. DS had awful colic as a tiny baby and I kept telling myself we'd get some sleep by 6/8/12 weeks then melting down when it was just as bad. I think often you don't notice the improvement until it's happened and you look back on it! It sounds like your dd and DS have a lovely relationship already.

My parents are moving close to us soon which I hope will make a huge difference. When DS was born both my DP and PILS lived overseas so we were very much on our own - I know it makes life a lot harder!!

[FastForward2]

Yes it gets easier but I don't remember when, it just changes or you get better at dealing with it Having 2 close together is exhausting at that age but later they play together so you have less entertaining to do. but more arguments to break up
My 2 were exhausting at that age, Cbeebies was the life saver. Mummy horizontal in sofa 6pm to 7pm every evening watching the bed time hour, then just enough energy for bath time, then reading bed time story with mummy horizontal again.
I dont know the answer as it is different for every one, but look after yourself, eat healthy food and drink water to keep up energy levels. Vitamin B for pmt.

Can you stop the 4.30 waking, as 'containing him' for an hour sounds exhausting, e.g. cut down in day time naps, stay up later in evening, and most of all get black out blinds. It may take a while to work but I would try this, dont accept this waking as normal or it will become normal for him.
There are loads of books out there about sleep and babies, but I remember being told to make sure they can get themselves to sleep so they can go back to sleep without you, and if they wake in the night to be as boring as possible and just reassure, then put them back in the cot to go back to sleep, repeat ad nauseum.

BTW those friends who seem to be doing ok probably have their moments as well, or family to help, or easier (for now) children. Parenting is difficult, particularly when you have no family local, be kind to yourself! (Parenting is also more rewarding than anything else I have ever done.)