Parents interfering in children's arguments

[Hightechlowbudget]

My daughter was recently reprimanded at school for name-calling a boy who had been similarly teasing her. It wasn't particularly nasty name & not specific to him in any way. Yet he complained to his Mother who in turn complained to school and she got told off. My daughter (10 )seems to endure a lot of teasing from boys at her school and she regularly has to stick up for herself. She is now feeling very annoyed at being unjustly singled out. I have tried to talk her out of it but she is brooding on it and I can't help agreeing with her. Should I speak to the teacher to put my daughters side of the story? Or just keep encouraging her to ignore it and him? I know teasing is part of growing up but this little horror has moved the goalposts & I want to support my DD.

[howabout]

Normally I would say parents should keep out of playground squabbles and support DC by listening and giving advice on responding in kind etc. However I think the other parent and the school have forced your hand. Rather than starting off by putting your DD's side of the story I would be asking them to justify their position in taking the word of another parent without consulting you and then take it from their response.

[tumbletumble]

I agree with howabout. Normally I would stay out of this, but the situation you have described seems unfair. I would be asking the teacher why your DD was told off, if (as you understand it) both children were similarly at fault.

[Hightechlowbudget]

Thanks, I think I might bite the bullet and ask some questions about what exactly happened.

[Stealthsquiggle]

I would go in with a "I just want to establish what actually happened" approach, and check all the facts, but basically I would be looking to make the point that the school should be checking and being consistent to make sure they are not just reacting to the parent that shouts loudest.