Dc shocked and distressed about a classmate self-harming

[OinkBalloon]

Y7 dd learned today that a classmate had self-harmed quite severely. She (dd) is deeply disturbed by this. What can I say or do to comfort and reassure her?

She also wants to give this child a hug, but feels that might be a bit weird. They're not especially friends, just classmates that get on, but with little in common other than being in the same sets for some subjects. Is there anything she could do? I have suggested that she continues treating this person as if they were ordinary, not in any way strange, frightening, or fragile.

[LetThereBeCupcakes]

Your DD sounds lovely, OP. Sorry she's upset by this.

I wasn't much older than that when I started self-harming and although I would have loved a hug from a sincere child like your DD, I probably would have thought she was teasing me unfortunately as I was being badly bullied. Does your DD know why this girl is Self Harming? Have any adults been told?

If your DD is genuinely wanting to support this girl maybe she could just gradually build up a friendship, as she would if this girl wasn't self-harming.

Regarding how you talk to her, maybe explain that sometimes people hurt so much inside they don't know how else to let it out? That the girl is trying to make sense of emotional pain that she just can't process.

Poor girl. I hope she gets some help.

[NotEnoughTime]

Hi Oink

I'm sorry to hear that your DD has been upset by this

My DS went through something similar a few weeks ago with a classmate of his (again they weren't good friends but got on ok) My DS was very shaken by this and told his form tutor who said that he had done the right thing by telling him. The boy in question is now going to a counsellor so hopefully will be helped. We told our DS that we were very proud of him for trying to help his classmate.

HTH.

Good luck to you and your DD