Ah blooming fussy sandwich eating!

[QTPie]

This is beginning to really hack me off! Am sat outside a cafe drinking my lemon and ginger tea whilst DS (5) nibbles his sandwich a microgram at a time.

DS doesn't eat ham sandwiches or cheese sandwiches (all that was on offer), but the very accommodating chef very kindly offered to make him a tuna sandwich. White or brown? When told that the brown was lovely and had some grains in, I had to turn it down in favour of the white. DS does eat brown bread (I always only have wholemeal at home), but has recently started taking exception to "bits" in it.

So out comes the sandwich, but there is sweet corn in the sandwich. I knew this was going to be trouble. Of course DS DOES eat sweet corn (at least in the homemade begetable pasta sauce I make), but has taken exception to it in sandwiches.

This is getting ridiculous. I try t accommodate DS, but really this is getting too much. A few weeks ago he also turned his nose up at the sandwich because there was a bit too much mayonnaise in it. Ok, I could scrape the extra Mayo off (I think that I did on that occasion). Or I could go through and pick out every bit of corn (I didnt this time), but I am getting fed off and just see this getting worse.

DS is generally a good eater (all types of fish, meat, chicken, good balanced diet with veg, all types of fruit, rice, pasta, sushi, olives etc), but sure a sandwich out should be an easy meal? Ok, I know I could bring and picnic (and some times do), but can't do that all of the time.

The consequences of not eating half the sandwich (two small quarters) are nothing else until dinner (which is about 6.30). Nine of the rest of his lunch box (Pom bears, fruit, jelly tots) and no ice cream later.

[BertieBotts]

Why can't he just eat something else? Pasta salad? Wrap? Beans on toast? It's not as though cafes only make sandwiches and nothing else.

I don't like sandwiches much either. I don't get why people are so obsessed with them.

[QTPie]

Because he will probably also turn his nose up at pasta salad or a wrap.

Will eat beans on toast - and does when out to lunch some times - but not always on the menu.

It was a case of "hhhmmm, what do they have on the menu, what is he most likely to eat?". We are at a country house and adventure park and not in a high street.

A sandwich is a no fuss go to food when you are out and the choices are limited.

[ragged]

I don't like sweetcorn in tuna, either.

Okay, this is one of my pet MN peeves. "Little Tarquin eats almost every food under the sun but he doesn't seem to like Taramsalata, What can I do, woe is me". You don't have a fussy eater. He's more fussy than you'd like, but his fussiness isn't hard to accommodate, if you really wanted to. I'd cry with joy if DSs would eat that range of foods. Involve him more in choosing what food he's getting, is all I can suggest.

Mine would have had butter on toast in that situation. Every cafe does it. Presuming they can't do chips. Problem sorted.

[AlternativeTentacles]

Get it wrapped up in some cling film/foil and take it with you for when he is super hungry later.

[Sparklingbrook]

QT I do feel for you. DS2 is 13 (!) now and still we have trouble getting a sandwich that is acceptable when we are out. he doesn't eat butter or cheese (no allergy he just doesn't like it) ham is ok, but even with that the sandwich has to be opened up and inspected to check the ham is acceptable.

He would probably moan about the 'bits' in the bread too.

I despair, and blame myself because I must have done something for him to be like this.

[madreloco]

just let him eat the rest of his lunch (not letting him eat because he wont eat the bit you want is just stupid) and let him pick around the sandwich as he likes. What does it matter if hes a bit picky with the sandwich?

[QTPie]

Sorry, but rightly or wrongly, I refuse to let DS eat crisps and sweets if he won't eat (have a decent go at) a sandwich. Perhaps could have let him eat the banana. Perhaps a "kids lunch box" is just a wrong approach; a sandwich (or alternative if beans and toast or similar is a available) and fruit and leave it at that.

Rightly or wrongly, I am not a fan of plain toast for lunch (unless he is ill). He had buttered fruit toast for breakfast: I like to get some balance (ie protein etc).

[BlueBananas]

I'm always so confused by these people whose DC aren't allowed to dislike things
He just doesn't like sandwiches, stop punishing him for it and get him something else!

[madreloco]

youre the one who wanted to go to a cafe, he doesnt get any choice. You could easily have ordered him a plain tuna sandwich on white, you didnt. I dont get why youre giving out to him when you created the situation?

[lexyloub]

My ds doesn't like sandwiches never has and probably never will. Some kids don't, give him pasta or sausage roll instead. Ironically my ds will have toast

[QTPie]

He does like sandwiches. If I gave him a tuna mayo sandwich on wholemeal bread at home he would love it. Same with pate sandwich. He loves bread.

Ok, let's rephrade this, my problem is is "lack of flexibility on food that he likes" (wrong type of bread, too much Mayo, not enough Mayo, something else normally liked in the filling).

So my problem is him turning his nose up at foods that he should like.

Ok I could always eat at home or could always take a picnic, but not always practical... As is having "beans on toast" or something not a sandwich - sometimes there just isn't much choice. Say you are at a park somewhere and all there is is a sandwich shop, then you are a bit limited...

[QTPie]

I did order him "tuna mayonnaise on white"!!! Specifically for a child. It was made at the back in the kitchen - no bleeding mention of "there will be sweet corn in the tuna mayonnaise". What am I supposed to do? I ordered the thing he was most likely to eat and he wouldn't! Obviiusly shame on me for taking him to a cafe at an absolutely massive adventure playground. He is our only DC - so we are here purely for his benefit and not ours (40 minutes drive from home). I am such a bad parent. Probably should have stayed at home - heck of a lot easier.

[Germgirl]

I really don't get why you're so he up about it. Fwiw I totally agree with him on the sweet corn in tuna issue. I love a tuna mayo sarnie but add sweet corn & I won't touch it. I like corn on its own as a vegetable accompaniment but in tuna I can't bear it. It just tastes wrong.
I think I'd have just scraped off the filling & let him eat the bread & butter, then the rest of his meal.
You're being a bit unfair, whining about taking him to the playground. I feel a bit sorry for him tbh.

[balletgirlmum]

I would have sent it back

I'm a fussy sandwich eater. I don't have any butter or Mayo etc, only white brea & only plain ham, chicken or Turkey. I've sent sandwiches back that I ordered as plain Turkey but came with stuffing on.

[QTPie]

Goodness me, poor child. Germgirl. He has such an awful mother.

I am afraid that I just don't like fussy eaters and DS is getting fussier. I wouldn't feel too sorry for him, he has an amazing life.

[AlternativeTentacles]

If it was tuna and nobody mentioned the sweetcorn then send it back for tuna only!

[QTPie]

I probably would have done, but they were already doing me a favour by specially making it for me - children's sandwich is normally only ham or cheese (DS won't eat ham or cheese :( ).

Next time I will let him choose off of the menu and that is it - no special requests. He has school lunches (where there is no choice) and just eats it or doesn't (I just don't know about it). If they don't have a good go at the main course, at school, they don't get dessert. All food is made on-site and is very good.

It is the "increasing fussiness" that is getting me down: it seems that the more I do to try and accommodate him, the more particular he gets. And I really don't want to go down that route. Everybody has likes and dislikes, but I know some extremely fussy and unhealthy eaters and don't want to go down that route.

[balletgirlmum]

Good luck with that then

Ds's school tried making ds eat the main course. He just stopped eating at school which led to complaints from his teacher about concentration etc in the afternoons.

[madreloco]

You better get over the idea that you can control the fussiness fast. In fact you're probably going to make it worse. He doesn't sound at all fussy for a five year old, but keep up with this attitude and he will be.

[QTPie]

I'll just give him chips and sweets then: take the pressure off everyone.

[BlueBananas]

DS is generally a good eater ( all types of fish, meat, chicken, good balanced diet with veg, all types of fruit, rice, pasta, sushi, olives etc

So you don't need to give him chips and sweets, just accept that there are things he likes and things he doesn't...you know like all humans?

[Misty9]

I never bother with those kids lunchbox things as usually have the same issue with the sandwich part. It's a pain when ds is with friends as they all get them so he wants one too. I find toasties are a great alternative most places offer - does he like those?

Also, if it's a cafe at a big adventure playground I'd expect them to cater for kids as much as practicable! We have an issue where ds will moan about feeling hungry, but then not eat his lunch - then moan again all afternoon. I go out with a rucksack supply of food for my two whenever possible; cheaper and less stressful. Must include my own snacks more often though... :)

[QTPie]

Blue bansnas. Fantastic, but what do I give him for lunch? Assuming the thubgs that he will eat are not on the menu? Yes, everybody has dislikes - and that is fine - but the people who are a pain are those that you go into a cafe with and say "don't like any of this" or who say "yes, I'll have a tuna sandwich" and when it arrives ("no wrong eat it, wrong type of bread, wrong brand of tuna, too much mayonnaise"). That isn't "liking done things and disliking ithers" that is being fussy. And this is a new thing for him. He is 5. I don't see why we need to go down this road now.

Eating at home is fine, but eating out - at least casual places - is getting to be a pain. We go out at weekends and travel a lot. For his benefit - he is not getting dragged around to boring places.

Misty, thanks. I am definitely getting despondent about lunch boxes. I thought they were nice because HE gets to choose the items (but yes I do feel that the 5 items should include a sandwich and fruit, but am ok with him choosing chocolate milk, Pom Bears and Jelly Tots... But I want to see him have a old go at the healthy stuff before eating the threat stuff). I think that next time I will just get him "something" and fruit - no lunch box - and he either eats them or he doesn't and I don't worry.

Don't think he will eat a toasted sandwich - really not a fan of cheese.... Will eat it on pizza, but that is about it. They do baked potatoes too, but he isn't a fan of those! This is my dilemma - I chose what I thoght he was most likely to eat on the menu (and he should have ate it - because he likes tuna sandwiches), but he wouldn't. He is becoming quite a problem at this sort of eatery... But same days out this sort of cafe is the best option and I don't want to do a picnic every time we go out).

I don't make him eat it, I just make it clear that there is nothing else until dinner time (including no ice creams etc). It is not that I am picking something that I know he doesn't like - I try my damnedest to pick something that he will eat, to still get faced with a "no". I may be mean, but to be honest I refuse to go down the "chips every time" route. fish and chips occasionally, absolutely fine: I have no problem with that, but not every time out.