I've made my baby clingy

[Jenny1231990]

Argh I'm stuck and don't know what to do or how to resolve the situation.
I have a son 6, dd 10months and I'm 33weeks pregnant.
She has always either been with me or oh. She struggles with people she hasn't seen for a while, even her uncles/aunties.
I've had offers from my sister to have her, but I just couldn't because the thought of her being upset without me or dp there really broke my heart so I've just been putting it off and off. Plus the only break my sister offered was constantly to have her overnight, which to me seemed unessesery.
But now I'm getting closer to my due date, and I know I've made this whole situation much more difficult for myself, I can't even leave the room without her getting upset, and sometimes I can't even sit on the sofa without her crying for me.
I have 7weeks (hopefully) to try and figure this out. I've already opted for home birth to try make life easier, but things don't always go how we want them too.
I need to get her used to people and happy with people, even though deep down I'm dreading it cos I feel I can't let her go, don't even think it's normal for me to feel like this. Help

[MangosMangosMangos]

Who will she go to (in the hopefully unlikely) event that you do need to go into hospital?

I wouldn't over think to be honest...I had a small gap between DC2 and 3 (not quite as small as yours though, congratulations!), in the end my Mum had to lie down next to the travel cot before DC2 would sleep. It all worked out fine in the end. I would just concentrate on getting her to know 1 person tbh. DS is only 9 months and I'm not ready for him to be away overnight yet either so for me that seems normal.

[Jenny1231990]

Well hopefully my other sister, she seems to be more taken with her as she sees her more, possibly at my mums house with my son. She needs her big brother there I think that helps loads.
I am over thinking it. It's what I've done with everything.
yes, no need to be away all night long, my sister who offers means well but I've just found it all so difficult to let go, then we don't see her for weeks on end and my dd forgets who she is so won't go to her. I just know people would struggle to get round her if she does go mad, she is getting better with my mum. Maybe I could go down that route, Thank you for your reply means a lot :)

[MangosMangosMangos]

Thats ok. It sounds like you have it totally sorted.

[Grantaire]

You didn't make her clingy. She has separation anxiety. Most commonly begins around 9 months but my youngest had it much earlier. It is normal and will improve when she understands object permanence ie that just because she can't see you, doesn't mean you aren't there or aren't coming back. Lots of peekaboo and hiding things under other things and re-revealing will cement this for her. Try moving away but keep talking. Nip into another room but narrate it so she can hear you. Return quickly with a big grin and a ta dah! She will get there.

Work on building a strong and secure attachment with your mum in case she has to step in during labour but don't worry. It is normal to not want to leave her. Hopefully you won't have to but if you do, your Mum and her adored big brother will manage.

[Jenny1231990]

Thank you, yes I think you are right that's some great advice il definitely be doing all the things you suggest.
It definitely started earlier than 9months with my dd too.

[Lilipot15]

Keep building up the relationship between your DD and mum. My parents have worked hard on this to be able to help us when we have our next child in 3 months time and she is now really happy with them (although I have never left her overnight). DD seems a bit more comfortable with my mum purely because she has seen her more, but was quite happy with my dad today whilst I was at work. As someone else said, a lot of what you are experiencing is the age your DD is at, and my more knowledgeable friends have said I should be pleased that she clearly has such a good attachment to me! Doesn't help my worry about how it'll be around the birth etc....
Good luck, it is normal to be worrying about these things - means you're thinking of your children's needs!

[eltsihT]

I can't give you any advice but I never left ds2 for more than an hour with anyone, apart from my husband (who claims he had an awful time with him) or when he was asleep at night until he was 14mo and then he was with his brother as well.

I left him on his own at 20mo with the childminder (2 days a week) and he has settled with no tears straight away.

Hope it all works out for you