Am I being cruel?

[TearingMyHairOut]

My ds1 is nearly 11 weeks old and we have been swaddling him from early on as he had a very strong reflex which used to wake him constantly. Recently he has turned into such a wriggler that every time I go to him he has ended up with the swaddling blanket over his face regardless of how tight I do it. This obviously worries me slightly so I decided I would try to move him into a grobag. But the arm problem came back with a vengeance and he would be up every half hour or so. I said to my hubby that someone should invent a grobag with 'bat wings' that allow a little movement but not too much if they startle. I don't think such a thing exists so I have taken to - please don't think I'm awful - safety pinning the cuffs of his babygrow to the middle of the grobag.
This allows him to stretch/ touch his face etc but he sleeps soundly. There is no way the pins can prick him or anything.
My MIL is absolutely horrified at the thought and says it could hurt his wrists. I can't stand to think I'm doing something cruel but it seems like a midway between the swaddle and the grobag.

Any thoughts?

[mell2]

Not sure if i'm picturing this right but it does sound cruel to me

[kayleigh81]

as long as he can still move and its not hurting him at all i cant see whats wrong with it.
Have you tried it on him to see what he's like??

[FrannyandZooey]

I am not sure about this. It sort of sounds ok but I am hesitant to say yes it is fine, IYSWIM. Have you thought of using a ring sling for naps? He would be very safe and secure and snuggled up next to you, like in a hammock. My other thought was to get a baby hammock, not sure if this would make him a bit more snuggled up?

[jalopy]

I think at some point you have to stop swaddling. I think this is useful in the early days but as babies gets bigger, they naturally move around at night. He has to get accostomed to waking and falling asleep by himself.(I know, not easy) So on reflection, yes, abandon the swaddling and see how it goes.

[LittleMonkeysMum]

I think it sounds like a genius solution! If you get some sleep, and more importantly if LO does too, then it's well worth it. If there is no way the pins can hurt him, then it can't do much harm can it? Although I would be careful to try to stop doing it asap so he learns about his arms etc etc. IMO MIL's always think they know best and it's far more sensible not to tell them things or ask their advice!! I expect he'll grow out of this reflex thing, he's still very little!

[3andnomore]

Hm...but what if...the pins come loose and prick him or he swallows it or whatever...there jsut is no knowing all the what ifs...!
It really doesn't sound very apealing to me at all, I have to say....when I was lil and would go into Hospital to have surgery for cleft lip and palate they would tie me to the Bedsides after the OP to stop me touching the wouldns...and I rememebr they still did that when I was 4 or even older...and it's horrid...so, that is maybe why I personally don't liek this idea!
But pins really are very dangerous!
Have you tried to use a sheet in such a way that it is tightly tucked under the mattress and basically that should restrict jerky armovement....but it is is tightly tucked in all on 3 sides it should be impossible for your lil one to pull it loose and over him!

[littleducks]

I remember reading that someone who swaddled their baby used to secure their swaddle with gaffa tape, not sure exactly how well it would work, i must admit i dont like the idea of pins at all.

[aaronsmummy]

You can get another make of grobag that has detatchable arms.

[sorrell]

They are called safety pins for a reason! Very much doubt an eleven week old could undo them. Remember, all babies used to have them on their nappies.
Of course it isn't cruel.

[CheekyGirl]

I tried sewing up the armholes of my ds's grobag when he was a baby...........

[3andnomore]

Sorrell, just because they are called SAFETY pins doesn't necessarily make them safe! And there are very good reasons that nappypins are not used anymore, because there were to many lil accidents with those.

[jabberwocky]

Have you seen these ?

[AngelaChill]

Or this would work
www.bloomingmarvellous.co.uk/product.aspx?CategoryID=n_night_time&ProductID=6340_7699&language=en-GB

[fattiemumma]

if he is sleeping through then obviously it works for him.

my only worry would be that the pins open and he could get hurt, but if not then carry on if its working.

[UniSarah]

Or Ds slept MUCH better when we moved him into a cot ( from moses basket at 8wks) as then when he jerked his arms he didn;t hit the side. By teh time his arms were long enugh to touch the sides again he had out grown the jerks and now sleeps arms stretched out maybe holding a cot bar.
DS never liked having his arms trapped by swaddling tho, so may be differnet to your LO. On cold nights we put an extra long sleve T over his sleep suit to keep his arms and chest warm as he won't tolerate a blanket, but wakes up if hes cold.

[mumandlovingit]

unisarah
agree completely.both my children wouldnt sleep in a moses basket.they kept waking when hitting the sides with their arms in their sleep.

3andnomore
thats what i did with my two.i found that it was harder for them to jerk around so much and kept them in place better without the worry of the sheets over their head.