Do you find your kids have the potential to guilt-trip/bully you more as a single parent?

[toadflax]

Just wondering...don't know if it's because my kids are older now, or if it's because there isn't a united parental front in the home. Ex-p is supportive and there is no animosity, but I find myself feeling quite alone sometimes, guilty for working, and for never having enough money, not able to do days out, bullied into buying things to try to assuage that. Guilty for just wanting to sit down sometimes, or do something I want to do.

[EnglishRose1320]

I'm not a single mum but OH works abroad for a month at a time and when he is away I try my hardest not to give in to guilt tripping from the children, but if it has been a long day and I still have to the shopping to do and then dinner, bedtime routines etc, yes I give in and yes they know they can make me give in. The daft thing is when OH is at home I often do the shop and the rest of it on my own and don't give in, I think its just the fact that he is there to chat to which helps me stick to my resolve more.

[toadflax]

Is it that one feels faintly guilty about not having another parent there, or just that you are potentially weaker on your own?

[EnglishRose1320]

Personally I think I am weaker on my own and also just physically more tired and worn down but I don't think everyone is weaker on their own.

[kingbeat23]

No. Absolutely not. I would feel worse having that abusive wanker around and I get to make my own rules, earn my own money and be the person there that provides a good role model to my daughter.

If my DD ever ends up in the same situation as me I would be able to guide her in not feeling any guilt towards making a break too.

I'm not saying it wasn't hard to deal with in the beginning but now I know it was totally the right decision I made.

It gets easier.

[toadflax]

EnglishRose, I think being tired and worn down is definitely a factor.
King eat, you sound like a strong person :-) it's not the singleparentness I feel bad about, it was definitely the right decision, I just think I can be manipulated more easily. I guess because there isn't another adult in the house to back me up.

[kingbeat23]

I think I'm more un-swayable BECAUSE I'm a single parent. Once I've made a decision I don't go back on it. Even if it's a bad one. There is no "go and ask your father". The buck stops with me. Whining and whinging is likely to make me dig my heels in more.

I do feel like I need to let go a little more!