Help - I'm becoming a bad parents

[Chopsypie]

DD is 2 (I also have DS who is 3)
I am really really struggling with her. Since she could walk she has been very spirited. She runs jumps and climbs a lot. She can be delightful to be around, very clever, affectionate, will sit and snuggle and read etc.

But she is very destructive. She doesn't really play with toys (even guided by me) and she loves to ruin DSs games

She is often wilfully naughty and does things on purpose to provoke a reaction, especially if I'm busy or playing with DS. She also will not walk nicely but screams constantly (and I mean constantly, 2 hrs is her record) in the pushchair. She just lifts her feet up if I try reigns.

No punishment seems to work for any of her bad behaviour. I can't give her my attention 100% of the time, but I'm honestly at my wits end. I end up shouting a lot.

Does anyone have anything I can try? I just don't know what to do and I'm completely ineffectual. I'm being held hostage by a (admittedly very cute) 2 year old.

[wheresthelight]

The terrible 2's are awful!! My godson was a bloody nightmare!! All the things you mention and then some.

Patience and lots of wine when she is in bed are pretty much my only advice I am afraid.

On a serious note, have you tried just ignoring the behaviour and carrying on? Attention is attention even if it is a negative form. No idea if it would work or be practical but it's best I can think of for now!

[Chopsypie]

I do try and ignore, but when she's disrupting her brother playing or climbing inside the fridge (I wish I was joking) I can't ignore it I have to move her.

[Fairylea]

No advice but I am going through exactly the same with ds. I just cope by feeding him lots of chocolate buttons to save my sanity and letting him run about outside as much as I can. It's exhausting. And my dd was nothing like this - she is now 11 and so I am having to develop new ways to cope everyday. Getting out anywhere is an absolute nightmare. He won't walk and he won't sit in the buggy.

Terrible twos is an understatement.

[wheresthelight]

Is it worth seeing if you cam get her into a nursery for a day a week or something (If you cam afford) to give youa break but also ggive her a different outlet for the energy? Or maybe try gymtots or baby ballet to give her a focus maybe?

[Bumpsadaisie]

Its hard.

I bet she just isn't old enough to be obedient yet. My DD (my eldest now nearly 5) was quite naughty sometimes and I used to despair that I had raised a child who had no respect. But turned out she just was not mature enough to realise she was supposed to do what she was told. This clicked roundabout three.

I am not sure what to suggest - my DS (now 2.5) had a hitting phase at 2 and a bit but we sorted this by sitting him on the stairs. Now if he hits his sister I just threaten him with the stairs and he stops. He's actually quite obedient, more so than my DD was. Not sure that would work with your DD?

Otherwise I guess it is a matter of:

• picking your battles. Discipline on the big things (being violent to others, being dangerous e.g. in the road) and let the rest go, otherwise you'll have a 24/7 battle.
  

• manipulating the environment to give you the best chance of coping. Spend the days in the way that gives you the best shot at a reasonable time together, and don't let her get tired or hungry.
  

My DS has been difficult these last few days, esp in the mornings. Partly it has been that he has been overtired as he is starting to drop his sleep, so we have moved bedtime fwd a bit. He was much better this morning.

But its just a never-ending litany of demands from him and stropping about the smallest thing. I go out a lot with him as he is much easier to deal with (swimming/playgrounds/museums/cafes) and I really enjoy being with him when he is enjoying being out and about so much that he forgets to be a strop monster!

At the moment I would say 50% of the day with DS is blooming hard work and I feel quite sick of the sight of him, the other 50% can be so lovely, he is so sweet and I feel quite emotional about him.

Rollercoaster hm?!