How often and and how do you spend your YOU time?

[littleraysofsunshine]

[TEEARDIS]

Define 'you' time.

I work from home and so am home alone from school drop off to school pick up, but I'm working.

Does that count? Or is it only fun stuff?

In which case, Friday mornings are 'me' time. I don't work on Fridays.

[JoinTheDots]

I get my hair coloured 4 times a year. I went to the opticians the other day for a check up... um, thats about it. Goodness. I am depressed now.

[cuggles]

Other than evenings when kids are in bed..I have maybe two days to myself per year..this year I went to a spa for one and up to watch London Marathon for other. Rest of time is all with kids...no weekly time to self at all.
....Poor me!! On plus side youngest starts pre school in January!

[Pancakeflipper]

I go to the gym and a dance class once a week. And every fortnight meet a friend either for lunch or evening meal.

But I work 3 days and all children are now at school so just rediscovering ME time.

[lola88]

I'm very lucky MIL abducts takes DS once a week I do all my cleaning that day and catch up on some tv and I do fitness classes 2-3 times a week. If you get the chance for me time you jump at it IMO even if it's just to clean in peace. Happy Mummy happy family :)

[littleraysofsunshine]

I have a just 3yo, almost 18mo, and almost 31weeks pregnant with dc3. So my time is limited.... I usually try to have a relaxing bath. Planning a salon hair cut soon.. Last one was about 2 months ago (that was the first in a year!)

I would like to do an evening class once baby is born. Whether it being a post-natal work out or a course..

I'm also in slow process of business start up (photography and design) so getting time to do that makes me feel good too

I do think I need to feel less guilty about having me time too though

[sharond101]

DS goes into a creche at leisure centre once a week so I get an hour swim then he comes into join me. I try to get an evening to myself as well but it doesn't always work out that way. When he goes to bed at night I often read or cook. Naptimes are housework and dinner prep so no really what I would call "me time".

[mumofboyo]

Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday are the days I'm available for work. If I don't get it, I have the day to myself. If I do, sometimes it's only half a day, sometimes a full day. I get time to myself those days before dh gets home with the dc (he does nursery pick up). I love those days, they're my fave times of the week! I normally read, watch what I've recorded on sky+ or even just sit in silence. As well as get on with the housework.

[Llareggub]

I get quite a bit. Both DCs in school and I work part-time. I'm a single parent and use my non working week time to sort household chores, exercise and sometimes sleep!

My exH has the boys every other Saturday (not overnight) and as my parents are very close by I do get the opportunity for babysitting when I need it.

I go to the gym, go out with friends and do whatever. I don't have a regular class or activity. I'm happy with what I get.

[louloutheshamed]

Me time is a con, and a feminist issue.

Gloss watch puts it better than I can-

glosswatch.com/2013/10/15/why-i-hate-me-time

[wasabipeanut]

I have 3 DC's under 6 - time is in short supply. I like the piece loulou links to, especially the part about me time consisting of activities to improve ones appearance.

I might have a couple of spare evenings a week when I can actually do what I want - I mainly spend it catching up on the good telly I missed for the previous few days (which is basically Homeland) and MNing.

[Doodlekitty]

I started going to a knitting club once a week when ds was 6 months old. Thursday nights are sacred. its easier to guarantee I get my time as its an actual club, so cant just be rescheduled. It annoys me how much 'me time' my dh gets and how easy it is for him to do things. He dies 3 gym sessions and 1 club session every week plus about 3 pub trips a month. But I'm not the type to stop him

[Doodlekitty]

Thanks for the glosswatch link. Now following, she talks a lot of sense!

[gretagrape]

Me time is a con and a feminist issue???

Depends how your relationship with your partner is defined - no-one is forced to shave their legs or clean the fridge during 'me time'. We both have a half day of 'me time' at the weekend - his might be spent dozing in bed or shopping without having to handle a pram and factor in feeding times, mine is usually spent gardening, sewing or reading. It's just about mutual respect isn't it?

[cloggal]

I'm getting used to having time to myself, I have a nearly-six-month-old who is now FF and DH is enjoying some dad and son time with him to give me a hour or two here and there. I find it a bit weird after being pregnant and then having the wee one there all the time. But... I go for a coffee or something that I can drink while it is hot, read a book (usually short stories!), and last week I had a massage (bliss after carrying my very chubby boy around). I'm also one of those people who loves eating lunch alone so I've done that. That's all little snapshots of time I spend on my own, rather than socialising with friends, or things I take DS to.

[goldface]

loulou - i love that article, brilliant, thanks for the link.

[cloggal]

Great link LouLou. I agree with Greta that it depends on individual relationships, but the writer makes a set of very well-made points.

[stewartlaura67]

I think any time could be a you time just enjoy every moment and live to the fullest if were not ready for any thing then why was there a need to do that so we need to relax handle the situation and act accordingly .

[dashoflime]

When I've got full days of childcare I get 2 to 3 hours when the kid is asleep. I write blog posts and go on mumsnet.
About once a month I might get a whole day to myself- I try to meet up with friends.

Louloutheshamed I liked the glosswitch article too

[rrreow]

Hah that article is hilarious! I was at the hairdressers the other day getting a cut & colour (something I put off a lot) and she said "So you're having some nice me-time" to which I thought (not said) "fuck no, I can think of better ways to spend my time than to have my hair cut & coloured! Playing with my 2yo is less boring than this"

My real me-time is in the evenings when the kids are in bed (although with a 5mo how much of the evening is actually 'mine' rather than being DS2s personal milk machine varies). It's usually spent painting, crocheting, watching TV or reading. Before I had DS2 I used to go out one night a week to a board games club.

I haven't had a full day to myself since August 2012 when DH took DS1 camping. I want to cry now.

[RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief]

I play netball on a Monday night and go trailrunning with a colleague one other night and one morning. I also really enjoy my job ( 3 days) so I feel like that counts ( at least when I'm doing it no-one is yelling for snacks or TV, or if they are I can't hear them)

[littleraysofsunshine]

Great article.

Very true that it shouldn't be labelled "me time" and instead we should all be entitled to having TIME.

I try not to feel guilty for taking time for myself. It's something I am really working on. Because really, my children need to see me value myself in order to have guidance in that respect I think.

I do have the days where I feel like ahh I wish I could just have a bath without having "mum!" Being shouting, or have a nice HOT cup of tea, or be able to do something that I class as something I enjoy outside of the normal "bath, haircut, rituals..."

I do agree that it shouldn't be labelled. It's crazy now I think of it how mums get the "ooooh take some you time!, haven't thought about it like that before. Yet when dp wants to go to his two weekly football sessions it's just automatically ok. Or if he wants to have a night out it's just so much easier than if I were to have a night out. And if we get to have. Night out together it seems alien! It's ludicrous, adopting these things into your lives should be normal (hate that word) it shouldn't be a BIG deal taking time for yourself or each other away from being a parent. And no one should be made to feel guilty (even though I'm guilty of that..) I just thought it would be nice to hear how people spend their time if they get any!

[Ragwort]

I hate that expression too. However I do have a lot of time to myself where I don't have to be responsible for anyone/anything. I work from home but very, very minimal hours at present (soon to increase ) and my 12 year old DS is at school so realistically all the time from 8.30-4pm is my own. I rarely spend more than an hour max. on housework/cooking so I do as I please. Much of my free time is involved with voluntary work which I enjoy.

I have always managed my life so that I have plenty of time to do what I want, even when DS was young I could do my voluntary work, just carted him with me. DH has always been a 'hands on' dad (can't think of a better expression) so we always have separate time to ourselves at weekends/evenings to do whatever we want. We also take separate holidays either with or without our DS depending on our interests - means we get plenty of breaks.

But we made a deliberate choice to have just one child and waited until we were not limited by financial constraints (ie: if we needed to pay a babysitter etc). I think that has made a huge difference when I compare my life to many other mumsnetters. This meant having a child in our 40s which I know would not suit everyone. .

[Ragwort]

And no, I never, ever feel guilty about having 'me time'. . No one could accuse me of being a mummy martyr.

[Longdistance]

Me, I get to see my bf of 30 yrs for a good old gossip and natter once a week. Usually involves food and booze and peoples ears burning

I get a lie in on a Saturday am, as dh goes to rugby in the afternoons on a Saturday to play/ watch. Then he gets the Sunday am lie in. Trains on a Thursday night.

I then get Saturday am to go hairdressers, shopping for myself. Dh is currently out playing golf.

Our dd's are 2.6 and 4, and I do think we have equal me time. If it isn't one of us will say something.

But, if we're to talk about household jobs, and dealing with the dc, I do more ie, laundry, cleaning, cooking, finding things to do with dc etc. he does the bare minimum, like the bins, and occasionally washing up.