DS1 became a big brother in September and throughout my pregnancy became more and more curious about 'how the baby got in there' and 'how the baby will come out'. I gave what I thought were age appropriate responses along the lines of 'mummys and daddies have special kisses and cuddles to make babies' etc.
He has now decided this is not enough information and wants to know EXACTLY how the babies get into mummies tummies and how we do the special kisses and cuddles. He will not be fobbed off and has said 'I am clever so I can understand if you explain it to me' !! (He's quite right)
DH says he is far too young to understand or be told the details and I should not say anything until he's older but what would you do? Has anyone had a similar experience? What did you say?
DH is wrong, sorry, if DS wants to know more he needs honest answers!
we have 6 kids, so there was no copping out, ever!
we explained that daddy has a seed called a sperm and mummy has a seed called egg and they meet in mummy's tummy and they start creating lots of cells to make all the body parts of the baby.
"but how do the seeds meet?" I hear him asking. well, my love, mummy has a special opening between her legs called a vagina/birthcanal etc (do not use the phrase lovetunnel ) and baby travels through this to be born. but first daddy's cell has to travel inside it to meet mummy's egg that is already in mummy's tummy waiting for it to arrive. the sperm travels from daddy's willy, but for it to happen mummy and daddy spend some special time together, making sure the seeds will meet.
I think a five year old will be more than happy with that answer, but if not just keep answering whatever he wants to know! his questions will lead you to what it is that he's interested in particular. if you think it's too awkward, just say that you don't know the best way to explain it, but you'll think about it!
my DH took the kids to Whipsnade 2 weeks ago where they had the good fortune of watching the elephants in romantic action! DS5, who will be 3 next month summed up what he saw: " Mummy, the daddy elephant put his willy in the mummy elephants bottom! and he's willy was very long!" - cue hand gestures... I told him that they were trying to make a baby elephant. he said they saw elephants too and they were cute...so no burning questions there yet!
btw we feel awkward because we fear they will want a graphic presentation or very intimate details, but that is never the case, I don't think anyway!
should he ask to show you how that happens you have to say know, because that is just between dad and mum, but you can show book illustrations of the body parts and explain what happens where. Equally about pregnancy and birth.
the most difficult thing to explain was what a period was when my oldest walked in on me (we don't have locks in the bathrooms) and got scared that I was hurt because of the blood on my clothes (I've just started my period so got caught out) he didn't see that much, but enough to be worried about me, so I had to explain what was going on. he was about 7, so a bit older and he knew loads about reproduction already, so it was not a problem, but still a bit cringeworthy...
once my cheeky boys were having a bath when they found a box of tampons - I found the bathroom decorated with soaking tampons hanging off the ceiling and walls, floating in the water! DS2 wore them as earrings...I had to laugh! so as I was explaining why that was wrong, we ended up in a full blown conversation about what tampons are for, what they are made of, why they get bigger when wet - a biology lesson combined with the wonders of capillary action! I never miss an opportunity to explain things, however weird the start or end point is!
Thank you for all your replies. I felt he needed some explanation as I don't feel comfortable with trying to fob him off. Mumof6 that sounds like a good one. Tbh I like him asking questions but I just wasn't quite sure what level to pitch the answer. I will ignore DH