Put up with obnoxious child for easy life?

[Vickisuli]

So my neighbour has a really obnoxious 6 year old daughter, who has always been really nasty to my two girls (of similar age) - telling them they can't play out in the street with her, making snide comments, making them cry etc.

She and another neighbour used to share the driving for a Rainbows run - one take, one pick up, and when my daughter joined they took and picked her up too as I couldn't fit them all in my car with 3 kids of my own. So I never had much to do with her. Now the other girl has stopped rainbows so me and this mum are sharing the driving. The girl never says a word to me or the other kids, or only a one word answer if anyone asks her a direct question. She NEVER says thanks or even bye when I drop her off and wears a permanent look of disgust that she has to have anything to do with us. Also, I have no evidence but both times so far my 2 year old (sitting next to her) has burst into tears as if hurt while driving home, and I suspect that she has deliberately pinched him or something, as I have seen her be nasty to other children before.

Do I a) put up with her rudeness and possible bullying of smaller child (only for 10 mins each week) because it's convenient for me if her mum does the Rainbows drop off, or b) do I say I can no longer take her but don't say why, or c) do I tell the mum that and why?

I'm not really friends with the mum but we are on OK terms even though I privately think her kids and dog (who poos on our porch) are obnoxious!

Vicki

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Do you really think she is pinching your Lo? I'd just stop taking her. Either that or tell her next time, that if it happens again you'll make her get out of the car and phone her mum to come and pick her up.

[ouryve]

Tell her mother to make other arrangements. You owe more to your 2 year old than to her.

[ledkr]

Could you put her in the front and scowl back at her

[amck5700]

I'd definitely go for Jilted's 2nd option. she is 6, she needs told. If she rats on you just brass it out. If it was my child behaving like that i'd expect them to be told off and if they didn't toe the line afterwards, i'd expect to be told.

I've had to do it a few times when carrying other peoples children.

[DonkeysDontRideBicycles]

Not really the Rainbows ethos, is it, pinching toddlers.

Make some alternative arrangement and just say to her mum, it's not working out, the children don't get along. If Mum with incontinent dog and pinchy daughter asks why, tell her flatly you don't like your kids getting picked on.

If you can't get anyone else to share lifts with, stick her in the front passenger seat. But keep asking round, I think you'd do better to find someone else to share lifts with.

[Vickisuli]

I did think about putting her in the front but she is in the middle seat with no booster etc because we can't fit three seats in the back, and I'd rather mine were in carseats.

Will definitely keep an eye on her next time and if the same thing happens then will say something.

Does anyone know how I set it so I get an email telling me people have replied? I only saw these because I searched for the thread again.
Cheers

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

You can click on "threads I'm on", near the top. All the threads you've posted on will show up.

[steppemum]

I think I would out her. When you oick her up this time say in a nice but underlying steel voice 'may I remind you that you are not to pinch or hurt th two year old. I am afraid if you do I will have to tell your mum you are picking on little kids, and am sure we don't want that to happen do we???'

then if it happens again you have to stop taking her. or put her in front and live with the car seats issue.

I would try and make it work, as the lift to and from especially with younger kids is such a pain