What do you say to (well and healthy) 4yo who says they don't want to die?

(7 Posts)

That's the line i've been taking. "You don't have to worry about that until you're really really really really old" etc.

Except for today when she said it and i asked her if she was planning to go today. It made her smile but I don't know if it's the wisest thing to say!

Some interesting posts here. Thanks. It's a tough one this.

YouCanBe Thu 06-Dec-12 17:40:34

I say "Everyone dies sometime but mostly when they are old, older than me and daddy and grandma, when they have lived for a long time."

elfycat Thu 06-Dec-12 16:53:04

When I was pregnant with DD1 my nephew aged 4-5 ish asked if I could die having a baby.

It seems my BIL had a colleague who's wife had died from a post-partum haemorrhage and my BIL had been discussing it 'over the childrens' heads' grrrrr.

I said it was possible though not very likely and it wasn't part of my birth plan. He then said he didn't want to die and I said that I thought that he was very sensible and that's exactly how it should be.

Then I went and told his Mum who was aghast that he'd asked me if I was going to die and was I ok? (yes I was a HC Professional who'd been involved with the more emergency states of pregnancy, I know what can happen).

DS1 had a stage of that when he was younger. I just said something along the lines of 'well that's not something we have to worry about today is it?'.

We3bunniesOfOrientAre Thu 06-Dec-12 16:37:46

Dd1 has been facinated with death since she was tiny too. We have always been honest with her. We say that sometimes children do die if they have an accident or if they are very very ill, but that it is very unlikely to happen to her and most people don't die until they are very old. It has never produced an extreme reaction, although she has asked Father Christmas for immortality (she is nearly 8)!

FivesGoldNorks Thu 06-Dec-12 16:33:56

Ds and dd have been saying this for a month or so (along with they don't want me to die) ever since we lost a relative in September (age of 87!).
I answer it but try to downplay it. Most people love to be very very old ... Think of oldest person they know who's still healthy...much much older than them.

I know the sad truth that children and young people die but tbh I don't want my children thinking about it. I feel awful that there are some children who do have to face this reality, either the death of a sibling or their own.

Do I lie and say don't worry, children don't die, when we know damn well that they do. Do i laugh it off? Do i tell her not to worry about it for years and years and years? Every so often it comes out of nowhere.

She knows that people's bodies stop working, or they get ill etc but i don't think she's put two and two together. Give me the where babies come from talk any day over her worried little face.

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