Feel guilty that I don't play with my kids enough

[Blossomhill]

I have a dd - 6 1/2 and ds - 8.

I feel that I don't play with them nearly enough as I should and I feel bad

I do make a conscious effort to play but they are so much happier playing together without me.

We do play board games but tbh it's not everyday, more like 1-2 a week.

I just can't stop beating myself up but things have slipped loads since they have started school and got themselves a life away from me!

[Wordsmith]

Bloss, we all feel like that. But like you say, they are happy playing together, and they have their own life too. Just feel proud that you have raised two obviously happy children! Stop beating yourself up about it.

I can't remember my mum playing with me at all! But what I do remember with affection is 'doing things as a family' - holdiays, walks in the country, etc. Not 'contrived' playing with toys or in a sandpit or whatever.

[brimfull]

blimey I thought you were going to sat they were toddler age!

They're old enough to amuse themselves/each other,don't worry you do enough.

At that age it's great if they use their imagination to amuse themselves,wish my 3 yr old would do it more!

[mummytosteven]

ditto, I thought it was going to be children of about Steven's age when i saw the thread title. It's lovely that they want to spend time keeping each other entertained. do you feel particularly guilty about this because of DD's language problems do you think?

[singersgirl]

I feel guilty about that too, and since DS2 started full-time at school this term, on days when we're all home together (not many, it turns out) I'm making a conscious effort to do something with them for 30 minutes after their snack.

We have done a puzzle, played a game, done some plaster cast kit thing and shaped the dough for bread rolls. (Doesn't sound much for nearly 4 weeks of school, does it? )

But I agree with the pps that you shouldn't feel guilty if they are happy playing together. Now what I find difficult is getting the one on one time with each of them....Anyone got any suggestions for that?

[Blossomhill]

singersgirl - i tend to have 1 to 1 with dd when ds is at football on Saturday. I then grab time with ds just before bed, so we may read together or play something like guess who. Sometimes we just have a nice chat

[Filyjonk]

Talking to them, keeping communication going-thats whats important. Doesn't matter how. And don't forget they need to build their relationship with each other-thats what they do when they play.

How about doing something with them-maybe getting them to help you cook or clean, for the famous "sideways" conversations?

Or having more family outings, movie nights, board game nights?

Think personally regular family meals are vital. Maybe they could help make them?

[emily05]

I think that at their age one on one 'playtime' with mum isnt such a priority. Knowing that they can talk to you and that you are there for the importnat stuff is much more important.

I cant remember playing with my mum much - I was always with siblings and peers - because at that age your mum isnt on the same childish wave length (I hope that makes sesnse)

If they are happy leave them to it.