3yr old girl issues

[Mandymoo]

Hi - my dd is almost 3 and i have 2 issues that are concerning me about her

1. She has started to refuse to do things/wear things as it might "make her look silly" - how on earth can a 3rd old be worrying about looking silly? Both myself and DH in no way say to her that she looks silly but she must have been told this at some point. How do i help her understand that she shouldnt really be thinking like that?
   
   
2. A couple of times this week shes come home from preschool upset about something but wont talk to me about it - she gets very upset, says she doesnt want to talk about it and cries. I've tried talking to the staff but they dont seem to know their ar*e from their elbow. Just wondered if anyone else had expereinced this sort of thing?

[Caligula]

No never.

It sounds like something is definitely going on at pre-school.

Maybe you could talk to her about it when you're doing something else which she's enjoying, like helping you cook or hanging the washing out, or whatever it is she enjoys. I find that if I ask my kids something straight out they won't tell me, but if I work around it while pretending to be talking about something else, they'll come straight out with it.

[Mandymoo]

i have kind of tried that but will try again XX

[Mandymoo]

sorry - meant to post this under the Behaviour thread - can someone tell me how to move it or do i have to retype it??

[Caligula]

It's not a very good sign that the pre-school staff seem clueless.

[PrettyCandles]

Have you tried role-playing games with her toys? Eg: Dolly is going out with her mummy, they go to the park, what do they play on in the playground? they go shopping, what do they chose in the supermarket? shoe shop? garage? clothes shop? etc, or: Dolly is at preschool with her friends Teddy and XXX, what do they do first? and so on. Just start with a few leading questions - which you hope will have very predictable answers - and then let her get on with it. Don't be horrified if something dreadful comes up (eg Dolly comes into preschool and a great big dragon gobbles her up) as it could be an attempt to get a reaction out of you, rather than an indication of what the problem might be, but if believable stories crop up, or something is repeated frequently, then they might be a clue to whatever is bothering her.

As for the clothes, dd went through a phase where she refused to wear some clothes because they were 'sniffy'. I assumed that she didn't like the smell - originally these were always brand new clothes that perhaps still had the shop-smell. But since then it could be anything! There are one or two particular items that she almost always refuses to wear because they are 'sniffy', but I tell her that they have been freshly washed and she will wear them. And if you are consistent and firm, it should work. Sometimes dd informs me that this garment used to be sniffy but I washed it and it's happy now.

[Mandymoo]

Prettycandles - thanks for your message - no, i havent tried the role play thing but will certainly give it a go.

I am just a bit concerned that she is already worrying about looking silly - i hate the thought of her fretting about it. X