Men Bashing

[Snugs]

Just had this sent to me and since so many seem to be having problems with their menfolk recently, thought it might bring a smile.

What is the similarity between a dolphin and a man?
They are both said to be intelligent, but no one can prove this.

What is the similarity between a microwave oven and a man?
They both get hot in about 15 seconds.

What is the similarity between a shrimp and a man?
You can enjoy all but the head.

Why can't a man be both handsome and intelligent?
Because that would make him a woman.

Why is a man's brain the size of a peanut?
Because it is swollen.

Why are batteries better than men?
Batteries have at least one positive end.

Why does it take one million sperm to fertilize one egg?
Because sperm are male and they refuse to ask directions.

Why are men like the letter Q?
Because they are both a big fat zero with a small protrusion.

Why do fewer women get married these days?
Because they would rather have bacon in the fridge, than a pig in the
living room.

What is the similarity between a video recorder and a man?
They go forwards, backwards, forwards, backwards, stop and eject.

Why is the male intelligence worth more than the female?
It is rarer.

Why do men prefer to marry virgins?
They cannot handle the criticism.

What do you call an attractive intelligent and sensitive man.
A rumour.

Why don't men go through menopause?
Cos they never left puberty.

[SoupDragon]

Or the laundry basket.

[SimonHoward]

Obviously you have men of limited cunning as those are the first places you should look as they are the most obvious.

[CP]

Oh, come on, your men can't be that bad or you wouldn't have the little darlings would you?

[SoupDragon]

Well CP, there are some things they do well, it's just that the list is fairly limited

And SimonHoward, you need to know what a laundry basket is in order to think of looking there

[SimonHoward]

SoupDragon

The flaw in my cunning plan is revealed.

I must admit I hadn't thought of that sort of problem occuring.