I'm just wanting a bit of advice from people other Than family. I have a 2 year old daughter and 34 weeks pregnant with my 2nd baby. My other half works away 4 nights a week but has asked me if I would move down south ( Oxford) area so that he can be at home every night which we Would both love! However I'm very anxious about it as I don't know anybody there and I'm going to be 4 hours from home! I'm worried I'm going to be lonely during the days, my partner thinks we can just move back if we don't like it But I don't think it's as easy as that! He wants to move around April time, I'm just wanting to know If anyone else has had this experience and how They found it and also some advice and opinions!
Hi we did this. I think it depends on what sort of person you are at heart. I moved and have missed Yorkshire and my family networks for many years and to me it's not the same as when you visit it's all crammed in. I wish I'd thought about it before . I wd have had lots babysitting etc etc and pop in etc.and I still miss it. However I am very Yorkshire girl and also I had my whole extended family there and I don't know if that's the same for you? Or if it is do you llike having them around etc as some folk find what I had claustrophobic as I had lots relatives in same street and a mike away which I loved but wd be nightmare for others? I didn't think when I left Just how family orientated I was ; I wd think is thus you or wd you relish the independence? It may depend on yr relationship with your relatives for eg. I still consider Yorkshire my home 20 plus years on and it is odd not living we're I consider home! I wd try and think what you really really want and what your priorities are for now and in future. Also are you good at making friend sand is it a down to earth friendly place you are going to ? Cd you test run it and stay ther a few weeks go to toddler groups etc? Get a feel of the place? When you have little ones it much easier to make friends ; when they are teens you don't really see other parents much. I'm not trying to put you off a move I'm just trying to tell you what I should have thought about ! I wd not have moved based on my answers to this stuff but it bay be different set of answers for you ! Good luck x x
Hi thanks for your reply, it's a great help if I'm honest don't get a massive amount of support from our parents as they both work full time, and hardly ever babysit which sounds like it wasn't the same situation for you.y biggest worry is being isolated during the days. Where did you move to? My partner says if we don't like it we can just move back after 6 months? Do you think it's as easy as that?
We moved to midlands and then a different part of the north. This was before we had children. My mistake was I love Yorkshire and didn't realise till went.second yes easy to move back if you have the money to , what stopoed me is when kids in school and settled they did not want to leave Friends . What I wd say if if you go make sure that if you move again so it before they in school if poss but for sure before they old e ought to have opinion. Saying that we know lots of people here who moved when children were in junior school and Hugh school ; kids didn't like it but we're told doing it and we're fine; I'm too soft to do that so it's about knowing what you will be likely to be able to decide and what type person you are. Some people move Area very easily ; as I was brought up in a village with lots of continuity and loved it I wanted similar even tho we live in city for my children. So I wd have found it hard to make em move once a bit older. . Glad to be of help ! Wish I had thought bout it more fully so good for you x
Re isolation in the day. I found it very sociable when children little via play groups and school. I think it can depend on the area thorns I would check the culture of the place you plan to live in before you go . I'm a very open person and had loads baby pals round etc but someone else I know said she felt isolated in our area. At one play group only I felt left out as they ball had set pals and blanked new people or people who looked different to them ; I just went to another playgroup ; who wants to be pally with sum one like that ? Not me. And at school your kids will get invites and you invite and some pArents you will just like so that bit fine. We have a baby sitting circle here and wee babysit for each other but I don't need that now as mine are taller than me !
The other thing is to trial it. Do you own your house? If so, you could rent it out for 6 months to see how you get on, then it would not feel so permanent. We did this when we moved abroad; as it was, it didn't work out and we were able to move back home without the stress and expense of selling/ buying property. I've lived down south since I was 20, but still miss Yorkshire - I've just been back for a wedding this weekend and I'm sure the sky is bigger up North! But when I'm here it is home and I have fab friends, so moving away would actually be quite hard now.
I think when you have young children is one of the easiest times to move to a new area.
I have no family support and had to move some while ago, but, having babies and children means you can meet people easily. I went to every baby and toddler group I could find, when the DCs were small, and when they started school I got involved with the PTA. I know some people turn up their noses at some of the talk they find at toddler groups or the PTA, but, IME, that's just a way of starting the conversation - few people really want to discuss walking ages and nappies - and once you get to know people it gets much better.
The local library might have activities that attract mums. Going to a family-friendly church will introduce you to people. A gym or college might have a daytime creche.
Once you start talking to a few people they tell you what else is going on and before you know where you are, you know half the local mums and meet them at school, ballet, swimming, cubs, Brownies, etc. You also have lots of people you can turn to for support.