premature birth

[Midge]

I dont know if anyone will still be reading this page but thought I would add my post on the off chance.

My son was born 9 weeks early weighing 4lb 4oz. It wasn't a complete shock as I had spent 3 weeks in hospital already trying to hang on to him, but nevertheless I found it devastating that he should have to go through so much so soon.

Compared to the messages here I think we got off fairly lightly, one week in intensive care followed by three weeks in special care. At one year old we have yet to discover any lasting problems, for which we are very grateful.

During our time in the second hospital we were largely treated very well but the first week, at a different hospital was terrible. Clinically they did everything they could but they operated a strict "hands off" policy which I found too much to bear and I now realise was totally unecessary in our case. I still feel quite emotional about those times and have had trouble shaking off the hurt despite the passage of time.
However, we have had a great year and our little boy is doing better than I could ever have imagined.

I know noone else in my situation so it was almost a relief to read the messages here, and even if no one reads this message at least I will have got it off my chest!

[Harrysmum]

Hi, a friend has just had her baby very unexpectedly at 30 weeks although he seems to be a healthy 4ish pounds and doing ok. What will she want/need in the next few weeks? Thanks.

[Ariel]

Chelsea is now a 3 1/2 yr old fantastic little girl.My daughter was born at 32 wks and weighed in at 4lb 6oz she was very healthy untill 14 days when she got group b strep meningitis.We were terrified of loseing her but she pulled through. As a result she had to have a shunt fitted because she had hydrocephalus.At 7 months we were told she had left hemiplegia.She now needs a shunt revision as the shunt no longer works properly. Apart from all her problems she is the most placid and happy child she never complains ,and although she has spent alot of time in hospital she never stops smileing.

[Ariel]

As a mum of a 4lb prem baby the most usefull thing i had after the birth was my family and friends around me.I dont know if your friend has other children but i was very concerned about my older son,but my family took care of him and gave him all the extra attention he needed.I would also say save yourself from buying too many expensive prem clothes they only last a matter of weeks and whilst in hospital you can borrow small clothes from the scbu,most units will provide you with them

[Jj]

Harrysmum, you might offer a grocery run or home cooked meal. If the baby is in the NICU, she probably doesn't have time and if the baby is at home she might not want to take him out just yet. Also, someone to ooh and ahh over the baby and not simply talk about how premature he is. And everything Ariel said, too!

[Midge]

To add to jj and Ariels comments I think helping with pre prepared meals, grocery runs, housework,will make a difference, all the mundane stuff that backs up. It helped to come back from Nicu and find a dinner ready, washing done etc.
The odd hug doesnt go amiss either.
Hope everything is going ok.

[Crunchie]

Everyone has says it all already! As a mum to a 27 weeker (1lb 12oz at birth, 14 weeks in hospital) All I say say is support and housework!

[Alisong]

When my daughter was born by emergency caesarean at 34 weeks weighing 3lb8oz the thing I found most helpful after I got home from hospital (she was still in intensive care) was lifts to and from the hospital as I was unable to drive. A friend at church gave me a list of people he had organised and all I had to do was ring up and tell them when I wanted to go - it was a real weight off my mind.

[Marina]

Maybe extra support in getting breast-feeding established, as she will have to express for quite a while. I know some mums of prems who never managed it (hard enough when you have a greedy full-term baby and fewer worries) and wished they had, and others for whom it was an immense comfort to be able to express. A matter of choice for your friend, of course.
Even though he sounds a bonny little fellow, he will probably reach some developmental milestones such as sitting up etc, later than other babies born at the same time. Health visitors and others should be able to encourage and advise, but a friend with a 24 weeker (now a gorgeous boy of two) found it really helpful to be with full-term babies and toddlers to see what she had to look forward to, and to encourage him and her through the first two years. So I hope she finds a nice antenatal group where no-one keeps harping on about how little he is.
Hope they're all doing well!

[Robbie]

I spent six weeks going back and forth to special care units and I would agree with Alisong that some dropping off and picking up would be brilliantly helpful. Also could you go along too on occasions? I spent every day there just sitting and expressing milk. Would have been nice to have a friend there to chat/ coo over the babes with me.

[Harrysmum]

Thank you for all your advice. He seems to be thriving and has been moved from intensive care to the high dependency unit which is a big step forward. He is breathing by himself and is now taking in some breast milk through one of his tubes. I suppose the biggest danger now is infection, so fingers crossed. For anyone else facing this, the biggest help we have been able to give is accommodating her relatives who live 200 miles south. Visitors aren't allowed yet (other than his parents and the grandparents) so it's good to feel like we can be of some practical use. We are hoping that he will be out for Christmas.

[andee]

I had a 27 week prem baby weighing 2lb 11oz - he spent 9 weeks in SCBU and is now a healthy 15 month old weighing about 22lb.

I totally agree with earlier comments and it is really annoying, that magazines etc really do not have a clue about what happens in SCBU - I think more coverage is needed - proper coverage on this subject - no-one really knows what you go through for all those weeks your baby is in hospital - glad to hear that other 27 weekers and everyone else is doing well !!!!!