Wonderful article about having one child

[IsaBisaBuildsaBoat]

My friend has just written so beautifully about having one child. I wanted to share it with the community I thought would appreciate it most.

alicebellreeves.com/2015/10/30/on-our-difficult-decision-to-have-just-one-child/

[IsaBisaBuildsaBoat]

alicebellreeves.com/2015/10/30/on-our-difficult-decision-to-have-just-one-child/ Hope that is linky.

[Bloomsberry]

Link not working...

[Bloomsberry]

X post.

[sugar21]

Im an only child and I would not recommend it to anyone, very lonely existence so I cant be bothered to read your friend's wonderful article

[IsaBisaBuildsaBoat]

Thanks so much, sugar. I wonder if you might be best off on a different board, though?

[iPaid]

Sugar - thanks for that very helpful contribution

OP - I'll take a look at the article when I'm not on my phone.

[InternationalEspionage]

Very interesting article. Thank you for sharing it.

[Bloomsberry]

Sugar, might I suggest that, given your charming attitude, there might be other reasons you're leading 'a very lonely existence'?

[Chrisinthemorning]

I'm an only child too, and I'm very happy. I think it depends on your family but my parents are lovely so being an only is great.
It's a fab article, well written and rings true to me as a mum of one 3.5 yr old and no plans for a second.

[Em3978]

That was an interesting read, thank you.
I have an only child. There is no chance of another. Many (but not all) of our reasons are in that article and its nice to read that we're not the only ones.

[Needmorewine]

That's a lovely piece of writing, thank you for linking

[SoftBlocks]

IsaBisa - Thank you for linking. I love a positive single child article!
Sugar - it is possible to be part of a large family and be very lonely.

[IsaBisaBuildsaBoat]

I'm so glad you all liked it!

[CatsRule]

We have one ds who is and will probably remain an only. I hear a lot of negatives so it's good to hear some positive stories too. It's a very judgy world whether you have one or many and it only serves to make us unsure and unhappy in our choices, or lack of choices in some cases.

[louise987]

Brilliant article and I agree with all the points made. As an only child myself I don't understand a lot of the negativity around one child families and 'issues' only children have as thankfully my parents were so hands on with me, and were able to give me opportunities that I doubt I'd have if I had a sibling. And if someone calls us a 'lonely' child one more time I might scream! What's lonely about a loving caring family?

With a little one (6wks old) I'm already staggered how everyone's first question is 'when will you have another?'. We are thoroughly enjoying parenthood of our DD why would we already be moving out thoughts onto another?! I was fortunate to have an easy pregnancy and healthy baby and I'm going to enjoy this blessing and not take it for granted.

Thanks for sharing the article OP

[DuchessOfWeaseltown]

My goodness what a lovely and well-written article (sort of 180 degrees the opposite of sugar's post on this thread really).

Puts into words exactly what I feel about a second child, including the ever-so-slight regret that we don't think we should have another, despite it being a much, much better decision for us.

It's an odd position to be in, choosing to have just the one rather than being forced into the 'choice' because of other reasons. Am not for a minute saying that it's more difficult than wanting to have another but being unable to, as I am obviously certain that brings a special type of heartache. But comparisons are odious and pointless. Just because it's horrible to want a second child and be unable to have one, doesn't mean it's automatically easy to be in the position of not being unable to but not thinking it's the right thing to do anyway.

Some people seem very sure of their decision which is good. Others, including us and I think many on here, and the author of that article, are 99% certain. Obviously a 1% (ish) desire to have a child weighed against 99 other percentage points telling you not to is a pretty clear conclusion. But it's still difficult to hang those baby-making skills up for good, and the article sums that up really well.

Also a really nice way to describe, realistically and not sentimentally, the pleasures of having only one.

Thanks for the link OP

[OhMakeMeOver]

That blog touches on everything I worry about when I don't need to. Some don't have a choice about having one child and I hate the stigma. It needs to be praised more!

sugar Say there's 3 siblings... one lives in the UK, another decides to move to Australia and another to Scotland... that would be lonely, wouldn't it, not seeing or having a sibling there? I don't understand the 'lonely' stereotype as anyone can be lonely regardless. What should fill your loneliness is other family members and friends, a good social life. I am one of 5, hardly rely on them for a social life, don't see 2 of them and I'm not in a good place with 1 of my sisters atm. I guess it depends, some have bad experiences of being the one child, and some have bad experiences of being a sibling.

[SunnyDays1987]

I think it's a lovely article. I personally feel under pressure to have another child because of societies perceptions of the typical only child, even though I really don't think having two children would be a good idea for us. So it's nice to read an article that's both realistic and positive.

It baffles me why anyone would purposely go to a section for one parent families only to make horrible comments. Sugar21 you're a troll.

[ButtonLoon]

Brilliant. Just how I would write it, if I were a good writer.