Clothing, Equipment and Other Pits & Pieces

[Scout19075]

Just curious, when did you decide to donate/sell/pass on all of your baby clothes, equipment, etc.?

We're 99% sure ToddlerScout is an only -- he's now 18 1/2 months old and I'm not even allowed get to get pregnant for another 12 months. I'm quite content in my knowlege that we're a single child family. BUT I have so much baby stuff! I have been saving the special things, like the outfit we brought him home in, his first winter coat (a late October birth, so the cutest little all-in-one teddy bear onsie coat), his first Halloween onsie, etc. All of his other clothes, onsies, etc., are bagged up by age/size. I hear my mother's advice to "hold onto it for a while" ringing in my ears but frankly, I don't have the space to and feel holding onto it all gives me false hope and confuses me when I am happy with/grateful for my family as it is. I'm happy to hold on to the big kit such as carseat/base, moses basket, etc, simply because it wasn't cheap and we bought gender-neutral things (TS's flavor was a surprise) and on the off-chance a surprise happens (TS was definitely unexpected).

I offered some of TS's clothes to a friend who's about to have a son after having a daughter but she said they're fully kitted. I've offered some of the clothes and to borrow all the big kit to another friend who's also due a son soon who's much, much younger than me and not in a good financial situation but after several months I haven't heard from her regarding the offer so don't want to push the issue/force myself and my stuff on her.

What did you do regarding stuff and what would you do in my situation?

[Takver]

I passed on stuff pretty quickly, basically as it was grown out of, because most of it was hand me downs anyway, so I sort of assumed that if we ever did decide to have another (which was always pretty unlikely) we'd just get more passed on stuff, IYKWIM.

We then moved country when dd was 2, so that meant a real clear out of the things that hadn't found a home already. That final batch all went to Caritas (church charity in Spain) for passing on to low income families.

I've kept a very few special items (first hat, baby shoes, that sort of thing) with the thought that if dd has children they will be there for her. In fact some of those items came to us from my parents/ILS so are already on the second generation.

[ComeIntoTheGardenMaud]

I've kept a few things so that, when I am an old lady I can sniffle over them and Girl can have them for her own children (although no doubt they will be so quaint by then that she won't want them). Apart from that though, I got rid of things pretty quickly. Most of the big stuff - buggy, travel cot etc - I sold at NCT sales, because at that stage we didn't have anyone to pass things on to, as Girl was by a large margin the last child in our circle of friends. I sold some clothes there too, but since then a friend has had a daughter and so now we bag everything up and pass it on to her.

Scout - It's tricky but in your shoes I would probably keep a small quantity of stuff for sentimental reasons/passing back to TS when he's bigger and get rid of the rest. Instead of your rather ungrateful-sounding friends, why don't you see if you could donate TS's stuff to a local women's shelter or children's hospital (who might want spare clothes for children who are rushed in, etc)?

[Scout19075]

Oh yes, I have been saving the special things as I go along since I am a sappy soul and am treasuring all of the little things/moments as well as the big ones.

I always knew babies needed stuff but there's so much of it! I thought about offering the clothes to SiL if her DC6 is a boy but they have so many clothes already that they don't tend to wear them all. They also get clothes from their friends that I think are more to their liking (TS wears a lot of jeans/overalls as they wear well, wash well and hold up to rough-and-tumble toddlerhood but I never see her children in anything similar). The friend who's about to pop was very grateful for the offer but said other friends/family members had passed on their clothes to her and she was overflowing. As for the young girl, goodness knows -- I think she's overwhelmed.

Maud, I like your idea of a women's shelter or children's hospital. I know there's a shelter in YOUT so that might be worth an inquiry.

Just curious, what sorts of things have you kept?

[ComeIntoTheGardenMaud]

It's a long time since I opened that particular box (literally or metaphorically) but I have the cardigan that Bloke's sister knitted for Girl when she was born, some other nice clothes that were gifts from people I cherish and one or two things that I bought and still think are too scrumptious to give away, plus first soft shoes and first sandals. Then there's the toy that Gril 'bought' with the money she earned (actually reimbursement of our taxi fare) when she took part in baby lab experiments at the university - she chose it from the shelves of the ELC. That sounds like a lot but it all fits in one not very big box.

I gave a huge bag of toys and (mostly) clothes to a local refugee project and they were incredibly grateful. Many people turn up there with nothing but the clothes on their back. I imagine the women's shelter is the same. Go for it.

[Scout19075]

I have been keeping, in a separate box, all of the cardiagans that my MiL and my Unit Guider have made for TS. They have both put a lot of love into their gifts of sweaters that I can't part with them. The same box has all of the blankets that family and friends knitted or crocheted for him. That is, the blankets that currently aren't being used. Again, for the same reason, all of the time/energy/love that has been put into them means I'm not ready to pass them on.

Sometimes I think I've saved too much but I am sappy by nature and want the momentos of little things as well as big (little things are, for example, one of my favorite outfits on TS but big things are his "bear suit", first shoes (both his cruisers and his walkers) and outfit he came home from the hospital in).

[CMOTdibbler]

I've given or sold everything - literally the only things I have are a couple of the prem sleepsuits and the crocheted blanket mum made. I didn't need it all looking at me iyswim

[ComeIntoTheGardenMaud]

Mine isn't looking at me, Cmot. It's cluttering up the house sitting neatly in a box on top of the wardrobe gathering dust.

[UnSerpentQuiCourt]

I have passed on lots of stuff to friends with second children - much of it came from their first to us anyway. Really good stuff has been sold at the second-hand children's clothes shop and I gave my pram and other large stuff to a colleague who then told me it was 'really mean' to only have one child. Too late to take it back, however! I have kept some special things such as hand-knitted cardigans and first shoes. As she was premature, some of her baby clothes fit her doll rather well.

[EmmaNicole]

I have recently sold all the key bits of baby kit being sure that we would have only one. The hormones have now kicked in and I'm not so sure. Head says stick to one; heart says have another....looks like I'll have to buy everything again!!! Just need to persuade the DH now....

[beanandspud]

I have kept the sentimental things - first babygro, blanket, shoes etc. but systematically get rid of other things.

Did an NCT sale last year and sold a lot of stuff, gave lots of books and toys to Small Bean's nursery, charity bags for the t-shirts etc. that have seen better days. My SIL has had any clothes that were in good condition.

My Moses basket has been passed around a couple of other friends along with baby bouncer, activity centre and bigger stuff.

Most of my friends are disbelieving when I say that I haven't kept anything but tbh, unless there's a miracle, we won't be having another and looking at the baby things doesn't make me feel any better.