How far away would you go from your nursery in a day?

[LucyJones]

Both dcs go to nursery will me and dh work. Dh has got a training day in London next week. This means he will be an hour and a half away in the car from the nursery. Work want me to go to a meeting that day which is 2 hours train journey away.
So basically if we both go we won't be able to get to the nursery in, say, 20 minutes.
Do people leave their dcs in nursery where they live and then commute an hour to work everyday?
Are you always very close in an emergency?
We don't have an emergency person closer than 3 hours drive away.
What would you do?

[babygrand]

Nothing terrible is likely to happen! You have to live your life.

[MrsBadger]

er, get an emergency person who's closer than 3 hrs away.
Even if it's just for that one day - they don't have to be your emergency person forever.

[Ceolas]

I think I'd be nervous in that situation.

Is there nobody who could be the emergency contact for the day? A friend or neighbour?

[LucyJones]

Interseting range of views, thanks

People just don't understand if you don't have an emergency person nearby!
All our friends work full time and can't drop everything at the drop of a hat.
No family nearby.

[oliveoil]

my friend works full time so does her dh

one day she was in Dublin, he was in London

son fell ill in Manchester

they got a family member to help out

is there anyone at the nursery, mum etc, who could cover?

[JoMa]

I make sure that my emergency contact (my gran) is within half hour of the nursery whenever I am going somewhere that means I couldn't get back in a hurry. I would say you should really look at getting an emergency contact closer to Nursery, or else they won't be much good in an emergency!

[LoonyLyraLovegood]

When DS2 was in nursery, DP and I were both an hour away, at least. The nursery had all our phone numbers and emergency contacts.

[LucyJones]

I feel a bit sad really that i don't have anyone who i could call near me in an emergency. I'm obviously a bit crap.

[LucyJones]

everyone around me seems to have family nearby who help out so it would feel a bit wierd to say to someone I don't know, could you take my kids for me if they were ill.
Plus the very fact that they use the nursery means that they would be working and it would inconvenience them surely. People have enough trouble with their own kids being sick and taking time off work without mine adding to it!

[babygrand]

Surely the nursery people can look after dcs for two hours until you got back? Although sick or injured child would rather have you, there's not a lot you could do that someone else couldn't. What are the chances of something happening that day anyway?

[XcupcakemummyX]

nurseries can normaly cope if an emergency happens
infom them of your wherabouts
and keep your mobile on you

[Ceolas]

Nobody is saying you are crap.

Is there really no-one?

If that is the case I don't think I'd go (or get Dh to change plans)

Probably nothing will happen, but you're obviously worried about the risk.

[oliveoil]

another mum at nursery?

surely there is one?

you could reciprocate with her as well, everyone needs another pair of hands

[SpacePuppy]

I don't have this kind of support structure either, my pov is if it is a medical emergency the first call should be a doctor, then me, I will then return asap. You cannot do anything but comfort in such a situation anyway, and if your nursery staff is at hand they will not be alone.

[LucyJones]

I don't think I'll go.
Thanks everyone.
I remember starting a similar thread when I was nervous about going into labour with dd and my nearest person to look after ds was again 3 hours away (my mum).
People just couldn't believe that I didn't have anyone to take ds for the night.

[XcupcakemummyX]

why don't you have a chat with the nursery manager

[MrsBadger]

no no, go
you are not crap
ask a friend (even if they're working) to be an emergency contact for a day - it's vanishingly unlikely they'll be contacted anyway.

my boss is sometimes mine.

[Judy1234]

Some of us work abroad on business sometimes and I think we have had the odd occasion when both of us were out of the country but probably not when we had a small baby as I'd have been breastfeeding. It would have been rare for us both to be a huge distance away though at the same time and we used a nanny not a nursery so if there were a disaster I suppose she could have just slept here and kept the children at home with her.

We certainly had the problem others mentioned of who to look after the other children when I went into labour. I think we used a colleague of my husband's the second time round and then the children's live out nanny the next time.

My sister actually hired a doula/lady to go into hospital with her and help which worked quite well. I wish I'd been able to do that for her now but at the time it felt impossible and my twins were only just two, I was working full time and had the 3 older children too. I still wish I'd been her birth helper.

[LucyJones]

thanks
I think I wil have a chat to a work colleague and see what she says
Sometimes this sorts of things get on top of me, feeling hormonla doesn't help
I get really envious of mates with their parents/in laws just round the corner

[LuLu15]

I am in exactly the same boat. People just don't understand that sometimes there is no-one else. We had a problem the other week when both my husband and I got stuck in roadworks and were late getting to nursery. There was no-one else so my daughter just had to stay where she was. As for when they're ill, if it's a good nursery you just have to trust that they will look after your child until you get there - any major emergency and they would take them to A&E anyway. As long as the nursery is aware that you will take a time to get there if anything happens then they can be prepared as well. Don't worry though you're not the only one with this dilemma!

[WideWebWitch]

I'd go to both, it wouldn't really occur to me tbh.

[DoubleBluff]

As long as nursery know then you can get there as soon as you can. If they are ill they will be looked after.
The only real emergency is if it IS a real emergency IYSWIM and Dcs would be whisked off to hospital anyway regardless of how / near far you are, and what are the chances of that?
It will be fine go on your trip.

[Ladymuck]

With just our normal commute we would probably be typically an hour away - if nothing else the train service outside peak hours is far less frequent. Does your nursery tend to call on you a lot and is this always a real emergency?

I have to say that I find the idea of non-one else being there for you in an emergency incredibly sad. It must be strange to live in a community where non-one is around during the day. I hope for your sake that it is not a sign that you are without friends, and I wonder if you were to approach some of those friends you may be surprise to fidn that they wuld be prepared to step in in an emergency regardless of how inconvenient.

[amidaiwish]

i work from home now but for the past 2 years i was a good 45 minutes to an hour away from nursery and dh the same in the other direction. quite often one or other would be a flight away.

if your dcs get ill, then the nursery will cope for a couple of hours.
if there's an emergency, then the nursery will have to cope. which they will.
definitely go, you have to.

i am an emergency contact for a couple of my friends who also have children at nursery as they don't have family nearby. have never been called though. how likely is it anyway? just let the nursery know you are a few hours away.

[fearscape]

I'm like you, don't have any family close by. I've arranged with a friend whose son goes to the same nursery as my ds to be each other's emergency contact - even though we are both working, it's highly unlikely that both of us and both our dhs will be unavailable. Maybe you could try the same? If you don't know anyone, you could ask the nursery manager if there is anyone in the same situation, then try and meet up to see if you'd be happy with a recipricol arrangement?