Childminder standards

[merlotmary]

What would you think if your childminder was giving her own DS a 16 rated video game when he's 9? Should we expect childminders' care of their own children to be of the standard of their care for paying customers? Would this be a red flag for you ?

[VodkaValiumLattePlease]

Does the video game get played in front of her mindees?

[Thurlow]

I don't think their standard of case should be the same.

I expect my childminder to feed my DC healthy food. I expect that because it is advertised right at the start, and you agree to it when you sign up.

This doesn't mean that I would expect my CM not to feed her kids takeaway and chocolate at the weekend.

[NewLife4Me]

I'd change my childminder, but I expect the best for my children.
Not that they are little and in need of childcare

[NickNacks]

Not at all.

I leave my kids home alone whilst i pop out- i wouldn't do that with a mindee.

I take my kids to mcdonalds- i wouldn't take a mindee.

I shout at my kids sometimes-i wouldn't shout at a mindee.

Just some examples but you get the idea.

[merlotmary]

I just feel a bit uneasy - it doesn't feel like it's in the same ballpark as a weekend trip to McDonalds or the odd few sweets. This feels more like an error of judgement. I'd never let my kid have a 16 rated game at age 9, but I would take him to McDonalds.

[merlotmary]

Does the video game get played in front of her mindees?

• I don't know

[longdiling]

What nicknacks said. What's really important is that the childminded kids aren't being exposed to age-inappropriate games/Films/TV. However, I think using a childminder works really well when you have similar ideas about parenting/bringing up children. If you are poles apart on one issue it might mean you are poles apart on others so might indicate you aren't the best 'fit' for each other.

[Iwantakitchen]

Really? I am a childminder and although my kids only play games like Minecraft as a parent it wouldn't bother me. Unless you have other concerns.

Also I give ice cream to my kids and ice yoghurt to mindees, get take away pizzas when parents leave, and let them watch 12 movies even if they are 9 years old. You can be very demanding of a childminder in relations to your children, but I don't think it's fair to impose your views on how she is bringing up her own children. That's her choice. ,

[StormyBlue]

Well, I wouldn't assume that your children were going to be exposed to it, because as PPs have explained, what childminders do with their own children hopefully won't make any difference to their professional standards.

It sounds like the issue really is a clash in values - her believing it's fine to expose her primary aged son to probably violent and sexual content is shocking to you so you are feeling uncomfortable leaving your DC with her. That's fine, you just need to weigh up if it's worth uprooting your DC over which is a personal decision really.

[merlotmary]

Yes you're right StormyBlue, it is about values. And also I don't actually know whether the game gets played infront of the other children. I think since I do feel uncomfortable I should do something about it.

[longdiling]

Well you should definitely clarify whether it is being played in front of the other kids - that is entirely fair. Do you have any other issues with the standard of care?

[merlotmary]

Nothing I can put my finger on. Just a sense of unease.

[VodkaValiumLattePlease]

Perhaps the childminder has researched and viewed the video before handing it over and has decided that their child is mature enough to play it? How do you know about this then?

[VodkaValiumLattePlease]

Also do you know which game it is?

[merlotmary]

Maybe she did check it out, but I think these games have an age rating for a reason

[VodkaValiumLattePlease]

Which games? No offence but from your answers your really don't seem to have much information?

[NickNacks]

I wonder how much research you're going to do into the parenting values of your child's teacher, cub leaders, holiday camp organisers or evening babysitters?

[longdiling]

I do think that's a bit different NickNacks - the ethos and values of a school/cubs/holiday camp aren't defined by one person. If you use a childminder you enter their home and are more exposed to their values/way of life.

That said you don't really seem to have anything concrete to go on here OP. Please try and communicate with your childminder and see if you can resolve this without making a knee jerk reaction. I'm assuming as well that your child is a lot younger than the childminder's. Sometimes we assume we're going to parent children of a certain age one way and when we get there realise it's not that easy! Who knows what decision you may end up making when your child is 9?

[mariposa10]

I would have reservations about this too, I don't think a young child should be playing a game for teenagers. Although perhaps you have other reservations about her and that's why you feel so uneasy? If it's multiple issues I would find another childminder.

[NickNacks]

I would like to state for the record that i have a 9 year old (amongst older and younger children) and i wouldn't allow a 16 rated game.

I am a childminder and definitely think i have different 'ethos' with my work and my own children. Of course there are areas that cross over, but i am able to separate thjngs easily enough.

[Iwantakitchen]

nicknacks, I agree, as a childminder myself I would be very uncomfortable with a parents commenting on which books my children can read, what they play and what I decide they can or cannot do. But then again, we are expected to be child protection officers, first aiders, healthy food experts, teachers, teachers of British values, road safety officers, teach children about faiths, identify early signs of developmental issues, the list is never ending...