SEN assessment for a 2yo?

[Hoplikeabunny]

I am so confused and upset and really hoping someone can help with this!

When I picked my 2yo (just turned 2) up from nursery earlier, the nursery manager and his key worker asked to have a word with me as they would like permission to have my DS assessed. They were being really lovely, but they have said that his behaviour is challenging, and he needs help with his social interaction. They basically said that they think they've exhausted their skills and he needs specialist help as they don't know how to move forward with him.

Obviously I love him to death, but he IS really challenging. He hasn't slept at all during the day since he was 3 months old (honestly, he really hasn't!), he has an absurd amount of energy, he can honestly wake up at 6am, and be like a duracell bunny until 11pm if i'd let him. His attention span is really short, he moves from one activity to the next quicker than any of his peers. Most worryingly, he is increasingly violent (probably not the right word- that implies malice and i'm not sure a 2yo can be intentionally malicious?) towards other children. There are absolutely no triggers for this, he can be playing nicely, and then just randomly hit the child next to him on the head with something, or they can be totally minding their own business and he'll just go and push them over- this is the behaviour which nursery and I are most concerned about. I have tried all sorts of techniques to get him to stop, but nothing seems to work.

I am not exactly surprised that the nursery want him assessed, however I am surprised that this is happening now at 2 years old, I sort of assumed that if in a year or so he is the same then maybe something would need to be done, but not now. I just wondered if anyone has any experience of an assessment of a 2yo? What are they looking for? Also, does this mean that they think he has SEN? What sort of SEN could be diagnosed in a 2yo?

Any help/advice would be really appreciated!

[AliMonkey]

I am on the committee of a pre-school who had a very similar child. A little older than your son but not yet three. We provided one on one support for him both to help him and to protect other children from him lashing out. We also took a long time persuading the mother to allow us to get him assessed so he could get more professional support. It didn't mean he was labelled for life, it just meant helping him as early as possible before the behaviour got worse or more ingrained. I don't know the details of what the assessment said as no need for whole committee to know but I understand that it was helpful to boy and family and staff as came with useful advice and support.

My DS has some anxiety issues that severely affect school and other activities. My DH was worried about him being labelled if we "admitted" it but I persuaded him we had to get him the support he needed. I am glad to have been proved right as he has really progressed with the right support and I really feel it will have changed his future.

An assessment should be thought of as something positive to help him so say yes and see what happens. Take it one step at a time and see what they say and then decide what action to take or allow them to take.

[cartoonsaveme]

Allow them to assess and take a view . Better now than later

[Awakeagain]

I agree with Ali
Try not to think of it as him getting labelled but providing both them and you with some support
It sounds good that they are doing this

[insancerre]

All the research suggests that early ntervemtoon is essential to enable all children to reach their full potential.
It is absolutely right that the nursery have addressed this issue thus early, instead of ignoring it and possibly letting it get worse.
Some children respond really well to targeted intervention and catch up with their peers
Its not about labelling your son, its about identifying his needs and the nursery recognising theyneed support to meet those needs
It doesn't necessarily mean ye will have sen but if he does it is better that it is identified earlier than later

[Hoplikeabunny]

Thank you for your replies, they are really helpful.

I do definitely think it is a positive thing that they want to intervene, but I was just concerned about what it all means. I know he is challenging, but I have probably been burying my head in the sand a bit. I am already taking steps to reduce my working hours so that he has more consistent care, as he currently spends 4 days with different family members and then one day at nursery, so i'm hoping that maybe more 1 on 1 time with me might help to calm him down? Worth a try in any case!

I have already agreed that the assessment can go ahead and I think they are hoping to arrange it for next week, so hopefully we will soon get the help he needs.

[insancerre]

So he does 1 day at nursery then 4 days with different people?
The reason why so many children respond well to being in nursery is because they need the routine and the consistwncy . they need the comfort of knowing what is happening not xt, be it playtime or lunchtime etc.
I'm not knocking your childcare arrangements at all, us parents do what we need to do, but it sounds like he isn't getting that routine band consistency. Different people have different ways of Ealing with behavior. Your ds may just he reacting ton this. The violence may just be the frustration he feels as he doesn't really know what is expected of him.
Is there any chance he can go to nursery more often so he gets more of a routine?
I don't know if he would qualify for 2 year funding. You can check online on your county councils website

[Hoplikeabunny]

He currently does-

Monday- With my mother
Tuesday- Morning with his Daddy, afternoon with me.
Wednesday- With my mother
Thursday- With his Dad
Friday- Nursery

I know, I have thought for a while that he needs more consistency, so i am currently waiting for work to agree to let me halve my hours, but if this doesn't happen soon then I will find something else. We could increase nursery to two days, we haven't done this before now as it seemed unnecessary to put him in nursery when hin Nan, Dad and I can share the care on the other 4 days, but for a child like him, this is not helpful I know.

[Hoplikeabunny]

I think I sort of excused the arrangement in my head because his time was being split between the 3 people who love him most, but in terms of consistency and helping his behaviour, it's probably the worst possible arrangement.

[insancerre]

I thought you meant 4 different people apart from his parents looked after jom
Mum, dad, gran and nursery is not that unusual
I do think that more days at nursery may he beneficial for him. Two days together might be better

[Hoplikeabunny]

Oh sorry, it did read like that didn't it! Yes I think we may look at sending him on Thursdays too.

[RuthieN16]

I think it is good that the nursery have picked up any difficulties so early as on the whole, the earlier the right support is given the better the outcome for children.