Sons milk allergy

[Babiecakes91]

My 2 years olds at nursery and has been since September. I told the staff at his induction about his milk allergy and it was written on the board where they get snack time.
In November I went in and he was drinking milk and they told me I never told them, I pointed out it was written on the board beside the snack table, they were apologetic.
Then a week later I went back and he was eaten a yoghurt which is also on the board so I took there apology again.
Then last Friday I picked him up and was told he had stole another girls cup of milk obviously this couldn't be helped and is an honest mistake.
Then today I went to pick him up and one staff member pulled me to the side and told me she had gave my ds cereal with milk in it as she didn't know, this is the same person that was there when I told them the second time in November.
I know accidents happen but my ds is still up because his skin is now really bad and he also has autism so he can't communicate with me and he can't understand what I am telling him when trying to calm him down.
This means it's going to be a long night and he's extremely upset.
I don't like to cause conflict with people but the nursery needs to know not to give my ds milk as they are not the ones who are up at night with child who's in pain, how can I say to them in the nicest possible way so they don't take it too personally.
I can't take him out due to the progress he's being making due to his autism and it's a council run one who helps children with additional needs.

[CouthyMow]

I also have a DS with CMPA. Yes, you CAN take him out. And there is also the small matter that repeated contact with an allergen can worsen allergies to the point they are life threatening.

No preschool or nursery would be doing this with my DS3 twice...

And you DO know that you can INSIST that your DS attends any ordinary preschool, and if necessary (allergies + autism + speech delay = necessary) insist on the LA (education bit of the council) providing a full time 1-2-1 assistant in that mainstream preschool for your son, as he is entitled to 'inclusion' funding, don't you?

My 3yo DS3 with multiple allergies, Autistic traits, GDD & speech delay attends a mainstream preschool 4 mornings a week with a FT 1-2-1, and is doing brilliantly.

I actually discounted the local SN (special needs) preschool as they said they couldn't accommodate a 1-2-1 for him, and they couldn't guarantee that he wouldn't come into contact with any of his allergens...

[CouthyMow]

It might also be worth reposting this in the allergy section on Mumsnet, there's some very knowledgable posters on here!

[CouthyMow]

What part of the Country are you in? (Wondering if you are local, given my local SN nursery' reluctance to deal appropriately with my DS3's allergies...if so, I may be able to help more)

[BigWellyLittleWelly]

My dd has cmpi and attends a mainstream nursery with LEA funding for 5 hours 1-2-1 time.

We've had little mistakes about milk along the way but only twice in three years!

[Babiecakes91]

Hey I'm in Scotland and my ds has made tremendous progress with this nursery so taking him out would be a last option. He wouldn't get into a preschool as he is 2 he is in this nursery to help him learn to communicate and socialise and it is working so takkng him out would cause him to regress again.
I'm just so mad but don't want to fall out with the staff as they are really helpful with everything else, I just need a way of saying politely to them to watch out for this.

[CouthyMow]

Point out the medical implications of repeated contact with his allergens?

I'm not a 'polite' person when it comes to my DS's health. Or any of my DC's health, for that matter.

Erm, I ordered some materials from the anaphylaxis campaign, and gave them to the preschool teachers. Tbh, they have at least 3 other DC's with multiple anaphylactic allergies, and are fucking awesome at managing it.

The ONLY incident we have had was my DS3 sliding deliberately under the table, picking up a crumb of bread, and stuffing it in his mouth before the 1-2-1 could get under the table! he's a quick little bugger, my DS3!

The 1-2-1 fished it out of his mouth, gave him some Piriton and phoned me.

Nothing has happened since, they've worked out just how quick he can be!

My DS3 has made amazing progress in a mainstream preschool, with the appropriate, full-time, 1-2-1 support.

I guess the preschools aren't taking 2yo's where you are? DS3 just went to sensory integration group at the child development centre before this, with me present. I wouldn't have left him anywhere that didn't take his allergies seriously.

Now Reception is proving a whole other ball game. Searching schools. Ugh.

[Babiecakes91]

I'm my area there aren't any preschools taking 2 years old and since he was diagnosed with autism last week they are sorting out extra support as he's only in 3 mornings a week as we have other early intervention therapies on the other mornings.
The nursery he is in is the best ranked for this area and I'm going to speak to them tomorrow morning and ask they make sure every member of staff is aware, luckily the antihistamine I gave him 2 hours ago has finally kicked in and he's now sleeping again.

[CouthyMow]

(((Hugs))) it's so scary when you aren't there with them, and you are having to rely on other people to protect your child from something as innocuous as food, isn't it.

I was having kittens about DS3 going to preschool, I discounted so many that either couldn't deal with his hyperactivity, or couldn't deal with his lack of speech, or couldn't deal with his sensory seeking behaviours, or had no clue about his allergies.

I lucked into this one, tbh!

[Antidote]

That sounds pretty poor on behalf of the nursery.

I would do two things:

1. Written complaint to the person in charge. Not too emotional, but factual. Ask what will be changing to prevent it happening again.
   

1. Every morning ask to speak to his key worker. Ask then an open question first: Will you be supervising him at snack and meal time? Are you aware that he had allergies? What are those allergies? Then say that thre have been X incidents in the past of him receiving milk etc and you would like then to sign a form to confirm they understand this and won't be giving him foods on his list.
   

I would seriously print off some forms with this on then. Ask then to sign every morning. You keep a copy. Give them a copy. Bloody annoying but gets the message across.

[SimLondon]

That doesn't sound to good to me, my DD is also dairy free and given daily medication to prevent allergic reactions and has piriton on hand her nursery are brilliant and regularly get me to sign forms about it. im quite shocked at your one tbh and wonder if you need to get ofsted involved.

The other thing you mentioned about not wanting to change nurseries due to the progress he's making but isn't it possible that he could be making the same or even better progress in a different nursery?

[Babiecakes91]

Hey in the area we live this nursery is the only one adapted to suit the needs of children with additional needs.
They also have the extra staff as he would climb all day and the proper teachers wouldn't be able to keeps there eyes off him to help the other children.
The only part he joins in in is when it's snack time so I'm going to ask that they keep there eyes on him then even tho he is very behaved at that moment in time.
I may have a wee word again to remind them about his allergy and make sure he doesn't get anything he should as it makes him ill but his symptoms don't come up for an hour or two after and he's picked up an hour after so they haven't seen what it does x

[HappyTalking]

I would speak to them and ask them to put in writing what procedures they are going to put into place to stop this from happening again.

They should have robust policies as this carelessness could be life threatening for some children.

[Foxy800]

I work in a nursery and this should not be happening, you need to get them to show you or give you their policies on this and get them to tell you and show you what will be done to make sure it will never happen again.x

[CouthyMow]

You CAN get FT 1-2-1 for medical needs as well as disabilities, it's just not as 'usual' or 'well known'.

I would not leave my DS3 in ANY educational setting without FT 1-2-1. And he is improving daily at the mainstream preschool with a FT 1-2-1.

Please don't discount mainstream - you have the RIGHT to insist on your DS's inclusion in mainstream, and if he needs FT 1-2-1 support to access that because of his issues, it really IS possible to get that - the setting just has to apply for inclusion funding, to cover the cost of the 1-2-1, which comes from a different 'pot' of money to the normal funding.

It's not easy to fight for - but I have found that NOT all settings are able to effectively manage severe allergies, in fact my friend's DS almost died because repeated exposure to dairy at HIS preschool worsened his allergy to the point that he went into anaphylaxis.

If this group is geared more towards Autism- type issues (am guessing here), they just may not have had the training required to deal with allergies.

Do you have an allergy nurse that you see at the hospital? My DS3's allergy nurse goes out to the preschools to do training on allergens, administering anti-histimines, Jext pen training and Epi pen training.

All I had to do was phone her, and between the allergy nurse and the MS preschool, they organised Jext training. (Was the only training they needed, their other allergic DC's had Epi pens).

It might be worth contacting your allergy consultant and/or your allergy nurse and ask if they can provide training to ALL the staff at your DS's current Nursery.

[CouthyMow]

I did have to be proactive and ring the allergy nurse myself to request this, it's never easy and is always a fight when your DC's have SN's.