Mumsnet Talk

I used to take an unholy pleasure in putting my twins (one nt one not) in T-shirts that said "I AM THE FUTURE", people were honestly struck dumb.

Sorry I know totally unfocused, but still used make me laugh.

I like the idea of 'what sort of person are you?'

Apparently, I'm not being upfront by not coming back to the thread and in my plight asked on site stuff how to de reg. So here I am for the last time.

It doesn't matter what I say now people will make of it what they will, true or not. Not everyone saw me in the way some on the thread have and what you state now.

This has really got me down, not the campaign but the snipes and comments.

I have not named anyone mean girls and delibratly went off bitching elsewhere. All you have to do is look at the posts to see that.

As for down playing disability, some are not worthy etc etc this is so wrong. I am from an extended family where a good number of members have different disabilities/special needs. As for making mine worse, I wouldn't do that, I know what worse is like, they come in the form of family members and some are NT.

Ok, I can't come back to MN SN due to the feelings some have of me, it would never work however I am in contact with some via inbox which I wish to remain. So please don't make out I'm not man or woman enough to threaten and go. I don't have to keep justifying all to you.

As for the campaign maybe if I had of said what was being proposed would work for my other 3DC with special needs/disabilities you would think different of me but then again I doubt it.

I hope the campaign goes well. As do I wish you all the best for yourselves and your families.

devient, there isn't a single person on this thread who isn't concerned for you, who wouldn't love to be able to make your life easier, who doesn't really feel for you. Really there isn't.

I think it's a pity you feel you can't come back. You aren't being bullied, you really aren't, but I don't think you are in a position to believe me when I say that .

Deviant . I didn't see it as bullying either, but I have been on a thread in the past where I felt grossly misrepresented and it was distressing. Chin up.

I think sometimes even a few hurtful comments, even if they are the only ones in several hundred, can be what make the most impression, especially to a person in a stressful situation. It can be a fine line between one person expressing frustration about a situation and the person on the receiving end perceiving it as an attack. I do find it sad that the good intentions of kungfu and others have somehow led to a situation where SN board regulars feeling unwanted and isolated.

I like 'You change. Because you can.'

I like it too. Simple and challenging of attitudes without being too aggressive. Also combats the idea of disability being a choice!

You could have a picture, with a common misperception e.g. scrounger or an insult e.g. the R word, with a question 'would you call this person this?' and then maybe a 'x% of people experience this type of language from others' and then 'you change. Because you can.' underneath.

Or, another tack, 'would you begrudge this person enough to live on and call them a scrounger?', followed by 'we're all one accident away from needing support' and then the same 'you change. Because you can'

Even, maybe 'you help. Because you can' for ideas about not staring/ making shitty comments/ writing to MPs/ educating themselves.

I'm sorry you are upset dev, I have re-read the thread several times. I can't see slating and bullying.

Personally I am at a loss as to how to help.

The threads I have seen elsewhere are horrid, the pms were awful, I don't Facebook but perhaps thats a blessing. I understand you are fraught and isolated and I really don't want to make that worse.

What can we do? What outcome are you looking for?

MNHQ I think the campaign is a fabulous idea. Please keep going with it, I believe it could make things better.

"You change because you can" is lovely. I think it would read better as "I'll change because I can". Ie from the non-disabled (is that the term?) persons point of view.

I help because I can

I stand because I can

I wait because I can

I don't have any direct experience of long term care of anyone with a disability or an impairment or a special need. I think those of you who deal with this 24/7 are amazing and I admire you all. But somewhere way up thread someone posted that it would be good to have the views of parents of NT kids too...

I think if MN is to start a campaign that starts with a sharp focus on "the area of children with additional needs and the perception of their behaviour" (Rowan's post above), then the catch phrase mentioned earlier "change your reaction" is really apt. If I see a kid acting up in a public place, my first reaction could very well be to pull up my mumsnetty judgy pants and roll my eyes and mutter to myself about bad parenting. And that's where this campaign could have an impact. I should stop and think first: maybe there's another cause. Maybe the parent really needs a break. Maybe there's factors I don't know about. Another reaction, from me, could be much more appropriate, more polite, more accepting and inclusive, and more helpful to both child and their carer. The onus here should be on me.

Further down the track, the campaign could be extended to include more issues. But if the focus starts here, I think "change your reaction" could be really effective.

I'm probably repeating other posts, but there are various campaigns that use the 'See the Person, not the (disability/age/whatever) strapline. I'm assuming they've done their research and confirmed that the phrase works with the public.

So is that it? Has the campaign been "parked"? No comments since Thursday????

Nooo I hope not.

Thanks for your post MrsMeeple it is good to have a perspective from parents of NT children and much appreciated

ok so how about "I see you please SEE me"

I think people lost track because it disappeared as a sticky thread at the top of the MNSN page.

I agree with Coff. Thank you MrsMeeple the perspective of parents with NT children is both important and valuable.

I think letting the dust settle a little is all to the good.

leith many of us have relatively full on lives, we operate at a speed and in a way that suits our situation, it may take a while to get used to. Don't be tempted to underestimate the mn population, especially the MNSN posters, many of them are scarily overqualified, and those that aren't probably would have been given a different life.