going back to work - twins will be 10 months(11 Posts)
Hi I have 10 weeks before I go back to work and twins will be 10 months old when I do.
I have always been quite excited about the idea of going back to work because
A) I feel it will give me a bit more balance in life, allowing me to miss them rather than feel all-consumed by them
B) I'm going back p/t just 3 days a week and 2 of them will be working at home
C) the twins will go to nursery - I think it will be good for their development
Lots of people are saying it might be quite hard however, and I was wondering if people can share their experiences of going back to work with young twins going to nursery?
Thank u xx
I went back to work when my dts were 10 mo. 3 days a week just like you. It was absolutely fine it had been a long 10 months I was glad to go back! I was lucky in that my family help with childcare but lots of nurseries take even younger children and they will provide the best care. It will be nice for them to be with other children too, which is where my 2 miss out (I go to toddler groups etc for this reason). If it was hard to go back to work at all then it was because sleep started becoming an issue. Previously an okayish sleeper dt2 was waking a bit so we started cosleeping in the end (thanks to advice of my colleagues!). It made things worse and ended up doing cc (prepares for flaming). So try and stick to routine as best you can. Also you might miss them a bit (I don't I love the hot coffee and adult conversation!)
Cool! I'm glad I'm nit alone in looking forward to it. Also useful to know babies might go thru a rough patch. Have been extremely lucky with sleep, so part of me thinking, will working/ nursery possibly change dynamics for them or shake things up??? Routine is pretty strict since early days. Am hoping nursery will keep things as strict for routine as we do or at least keep them tired out! Atm we do a lot of activities around the routine tho- out the house a lot when not napping ( our house is v small so we all get cabin fever otherwise)., so....maybe nursery won't be a huge shock to their system...I'm hoping for the best anyway. Just want to be prepared for the unexpected too tho of course! Thanks :-)
Ps. What is flaming?
Hi. Sounds like you know what you are doing and working from home should make things a lot easier to manage. I would definitely say I find a day at work is easier than a day running round after toddler twins. I get to sit down and drink a hot cup of coffee for a start!
I went back to work about 7 months ago when my twin girls were a year old. I work 3 days. They go to nursery 2 days and my parents in law one day. My husband usually works from home on their nursery days so picks up/drops off. I have flexitime which helps when I have do to this, otherwise I think it would be quite stressful getting us all out of the house in the morning and making sure one of us was back in time to get them, but I guess you just have to be super organised.
Took a few weeks to settle in but they absolutely love nursery now. I can't be sure whether it has helped their development, but I think the nursery environment has really helped them to start to learn boundaries because they have to fit in with the routine there. They get more variety of food and activities than I would manage just at home, especially messy play and crafts and stuff. I love it when they come home having learnt a new word or the actions to a song or something, but I know some mums struggle with feeling like they are missing out on stuff like this.
I was getting cabin fever by about 10 months. Much as I love them, it was so intense being with them 24/7. I was starting to wake up just wishing the day away until bedtime, especially if we didn't have a group or anything planned that day. Once you are in that mindset it's a vicious circle of you and them getting more and more fed up. Had a knock on effect on my relationship too as started to resent my OH when he talked about his day at work and I felt I had nothing interesting to say about my day. Now I look forward to my days at home with them, and we can happily spend a day just pottering and playing at home. Everyone's much happier now.
I'm enjoying being back at work and using my brain again, but I find working part time a bit hard sometimes. I often feel frustrated at myself that I'm not doing as "good" a job as I used to, but I think maybe I just try and do the full time amount of work still. I'm having to learn to compromise on certain things and let go of control a little bit as things do carry on for everyone else on your days off.
Be prepared to have to take quite a lot of time off in the first couple of months as they pick up a lot of bugs at nursery. The really tough bit though is when they are ill/teething or otherwise not sleeping and you are busy at work. I've had one of those weeks this week. Having a well deserved glass of wine!
I went back FT when my twins were 5.5 months. We had a couple of weeks of bugs, mainly eye infections but it settled down. They settled immediately, I found it tiring for a few weeks although I was glad to be back at work, and definitely glad to have hot coffee. I'd found maternity leave very isolating with twins.
I agree about the benefits of activities at nursery. Even now ( at 6) I find it much more of a challenge to do any craft/baking/gardening with them as they spend most of the time worrying that the other one is getting an advantage over the other. Don't pay much attention to the actual activity.
I suspect they also got more one on one attention as babies at nursery than at home, where I'd inevitably be split between them both. I seemed to spend so much time on logistics and keeping the practicalities going. Whereas at nursery there was a cook etc.
People have a lot of view points and I really think most decisions even out in the end. The main thing is to be happy with what you and your family are doing.
Thanks ladies xx
I loved going back to work. Mine were about 10 months too. I do three days as well. It is a good set up, I think. The balance of time is still with your family and you have enough time to contribute at work without getting too caught up in office politics. Children do seem to get ill a lot at that stage, which is probably the only downside. It might be worth talking to your partner, and any family you may have locally, about how you might manage this. Inevitably, I have a big project to work on this week, and one of mine has been sick today.
I went back full time when the twins were 7 months an my eldest was just 3. They were all in the same nursery which made it easier and it was pretty much on my direct route to work.
I won't lie and tell you I didn't cry, feel guilty and they settled straight away, but within a few weeks we were all on the new routine. They did get a few bugs at the beginning, but I was luck enough to work from home sometimes or juggled with my DH.
It is tough, but you will all be fine. I have since gone on to have a 4th, so it can't be so bad
I went back to work when my DTS were 10 months old. I hadn't made enough provision for emergency childcare, so was constantly having to leave work early/work from home because they got every bug going x2. So if I did it again I would make sure I had this totally sorted.
After a while I had a nanny for one of the days (I worked four) which really helped, especially as she would do their laundry etc.
Another flashpoint for me was pick up time - I had to put them in their coats/shoes/etc and I always had to pick one to come to mummy first. Maybe have a chat about this with the nursery - would they get them ready for you so you can pick them up, give them a cuddle together then get them in their buggy without having to worry about coats and shoes.
The nursery did let me take my double buggy into the building as it was just too difficult to get them into their buggy outside (especially when they started walking and would make a run for the road). This could be something to discuss depending on the layout of the nursery. I did get some cats bums faces from other parents over this. Also I think people used to get peed off by the amount of space the buggy took up in the buggy shed (jane powertwin), but when I switched to a fold up side by side I couldn't get it through the nursery door.
On the developmental side, a plus point of having them at nursery was the totally babysafe enclosed playarea in the garden. When they start walking places like playgrounds can be a bit challenging, so it was great to know they were able to use the climbing frames etc safely. We were in London so didn't have this sort of stuff in the back garden.
Good luck with it and enjoy both working and the special time you will have with them on your days off.
Thanks all! I am getting excited about it now, they are starting to do funny things like copy us when clapping on the table, and I feel like this thing will be exponential by the time they start nursery. The 3 days leaves me with four days with them, so I will hopefully feel I am not missing too much of their clever antics. Also I am crossing my fingers that eating with the other children and getting more 1-1 attention during feeding will help my dt1 embrace solids more. At 8 months we still have days where she refuses solids completely. V suspicious of spoonfeeding and fingerfoods! Whereas her sister loves foods! X
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