Dates?

[Jakey87]

hi all. im struggling to decide which dates to use as an angelversary, i found out i was having a mmc at 5w 4d and waited 9 weeks for things to happen naturaly then chose medical management to get things underway and save my sanity. i started bleeding imediatley after first tablet. tablets and pesaries didnt work properly and i ended up having my "jelly bean" removed by a doctor by hand 4 days after first tablet.
now im stuck, do i use the date there was no heartbeat on the scan, the day the bleeding started or the day everything was removed as the day to remember my angel? i know the day of babys due day will be a special day to remember and reflect so do i use this as the date to remember or one of the others?. im so confused and everyone keeps telling me the choice is mine or do what ever feels right but none of this feel rightand this is a choice i can not seem to make on my own.
i was wondering if its not too painfull to go over which dates others have used to remember?
so glad you girls are on here, you have been my life line over the last few weeks (not that i would wish this on anyone) but its good to know others who have been through similar experiences and emotions. tc all x

[dorcas111]

Hi Jakey, hope you are okay. If it helps I think that I consider the day when I knew I had actually passed my little bean as the day I lost him. (Was sure it was a boy!). That was the sunday even though I had started bleeding on the thursday. On the sunday evening I had contraction-like pains and passed a lot of tissue and then what I think was probably the sac. That was when I just 'knew', up till then I had been desperately hoping. But weirdly I have trouble remembering the date and have to actually count back from what I know was a friend's birthday on the wednesday to remember. I think that is because at the time I didn't have a clue what the date was. Whereas the due date is firmly lodged in my mind. So I'm not sure if I am going to actively try and remember it, although I can totally understand you wanting a date to use.

[loopydoopy]

Hi Jakey, i personally am going to have EDD as the date, i mmc at the end of Jan, i remember the date i found out as it was suppose to be my first MW appointment and i remember the date i actually lost little bean. i decided to go with the EDD as for me the actual event was something like everyone a day that i didn't want to happen, i am sure when each Jan comes i will remember but have gone with EDD. I have bought a birthstone for EDD for my chain to remember little bean. sorry to hear of your lose and take care x

[nomorewine]

I will always think of mine on the EDD as it would have been due on DP's 40th Birthday.
Will always look back on the day I found out with bad memories. I find it hard just seeing that date in my diary etc atm.

[Jakey87]

thank you all for the messages, think im going to use the date i knew everything was over and the EDD as dates to remember, mabey relese a baloon on EDD as a sort of memory gift if you know what i mean, still struggling to get my head around it all!
on the posative side i have started a memory box which has a few keepsakes in it (scan pic and pos tests etc) and i will continue to add little poems etc and this has given me somthing to concentrate on and in a strange way it lets me control somthing as i still feel every chioce iv made this year has gone sadly wrong and i have no control over my body or my life atm.
sorry if this sounds strange. thanks again for the messages girls x