Miscarried yesterday and want to try again

[SlummyMummy85]

I had my 1st miscarriage yesterday and feel totally lost.

Me & my dp had been trying for this baby for 6mths and we were so happy when we got the BFP on new years day.

When I started bleeding on thursday I felt like a part of me had been ripped out and when the hospital confirmed my mc yesterday i totally lost it.

We had tried so hard for this and it was taken away from us.

I want to start trying again straight away but everyone say we should wait a couple of months.

Has anyone else been in this situation? What did you do?

[IronOnReverse]

I am so, so sorry.

My first pg ended in miscarriage after 14 months of trying. There's no physical reason to wait. It's so you can date subsequent pregnancies and heal emotionally.

I wanted to try again immediately. Just know- I'm sure you do- that it won't heal the hurt of the miscarriage itself but might help you move forward. It's an attempt to heal, not a replacement. What I'm saying in a blundering, crass way (but kindly meant) that don't expect a subsequent pregnancy to completely heal the hurt.

Be kind to yourself. Let yourself feel whatever you want to. Angry, sad, hurt, disappointed. It's normal.

I did get pg again, immediately and have a brilliant 2.8yr old to show for it.

Take it easy. It gets better.

[belgo]

You have to do what feels right for you. Many women have miscarriages, and most of them (myself included) go on to have healthy children.

If you miscarried naturally, there is usually no reason why you cannot start trying again straight away, if you think that will help you. I became pregnant immediately after my second miscarriage.

Look after yourself, physically you may think you are fine but emotionally a miscarriage can be very hard.

[SlummyMummy85]

Thanks IronOnReverse.

I know i'll never forget this. I'm lucky i suppose that I have good support from DP. I've got a DS of 7 who has kept me from completely crumblig into a teary mess.

[SlummyMummy85]

bump

[UnderneathTheStream]

Sorry for your loss. I had a mc just over 2 weeks ago so I feel for you.

I am also trying again.

[thefatladyscreams]

SlummyMummy

So sorry for your loss. It's horrible - I had a m/c last year.

There is a great bunch of ladies on this thread:

TTC after m/c

I don't think there is any right answer about when to try again. You just need to do what is right for you. I tried straight away but with hindsight I think I was very obsessive about it as I was desperately trying to get some control back.

Take good care of yourself and good luck.

[thefatladyscreams]

Sorry forgot to add that medically they suggest you wait for one cycle to make dating any subsquent pregnancy easier. But there is no medical reason for not trying as soon as you feel ready.

The one thing I would advise before trying again is to make sure you get a BFN to check the pregnancy hormones have cleared your system. That way you know that any BFP is genuine and don't do your head in worrying about residual hormones distorting the result.

The pain does get easier after a while - however dark it seems now xxx

[SlummyMummy85]

Thnks to all of you for your thoughts and advice.

It makes it a little bit more bearable knowing there are other women out there going through the same thing.

Dont feel so alone now

[NUFC1981]

Hi there,

Just to give you some hope. I had a mc in September last year and on the advice of the hospital, I waited for one normal cycle and then tried again. I am now 16 weeks pregnant and everything seems fine this time so you should just go for it if you feel ready.

[peanutpie]

I decided not to wait for my last miscarriage. For the previous ones I stopped trying for months as I had found the whole thing so traumatic. I don't know why I felt differently this time.

The hospital advised waiting only so the dating would be easier. However I just wanted to get on with it straight away. I think it is really up to you what you do.