TTC After MMC - When is it ok to start trying?

[ThePippy]

I am just recovering from an ERPC that I had on Tuesday, after finding out at my 12 week scan last week that my baby had died at 8 weeks. Last week was devastating and it felt hopeless, but I have quite quickly turned dispair into determination to try again as soon as possible. I have been told that I should wait until I have had at least one normal period, but the reason seems more related to being able to easily date the pregnancy rather than anything else, but as I am nearly 38 and this was my first pregnancy, I feel the need to get on with things. Am I being too impatient? Anybodys views or experienced appreciated. I just feel so strongly that I want/need to be pregnant again asap.

[VillageMum]

Hello - I'm so very sorry for your loss. I had a D&E last Thursday (11th). I'd discovered at 10 wks that my baby had died at 6 wks, and went on to have the D&E at what would have been 11 wks because my body was just not doing what it was meant to be doing and managing the miscarriage.

I feel exactly as you do - last week was raw grief, hopeless; this week, as I'm starting to feel a bit better physically, I can contemplate the future again and a baby is very much part of it. I've read up on when it's safe to ttc again and have also posted on this site; many helpful people wrote in and it seems that there really is no medical reason why one can't conceive again immediately, even before your next period kicks in - if the body is ready it's ready. Crucially, there does not seem to be an increased chance of another mc if you conceive again right away. The main reason for waiting, apart from making sure you've recovered emotionally, does seem to be that dating the pregnancy can be a muddle if you conceive straight away because there's then no date for your LMP. If you're already a bit nervous and worried because of your earlier mc, that could be awful - you'll think you're 6 wks, say, but your GP will insist you're only 5; if an early pg scan doesn't show a heartbeat and you're told to come back later that could then be nerve-wracking, etc etc - I can just see myself getting sucked into all kinds of anxieties which could be avoided by having a LMP date!

I've found a useful site about this which might help: www.pregnancyloss.info/trying_again.htm

Even so, I'm still tempted to try again straight away and would completely understand this urge in anyone else. I'm 39, by the way, so I totally sympathise with your sense that time is passing (though you've got two years on me, so try to relax and not worry if you can!) In the end it's probably very much a personal decision. Best of luck!

[TheBlonde]

Both docs I saw said there was no medical reason for me not to start trying straight away

[Cies]

I was going to post this exact same question.

Last Friday I started to miscarry at 6 weeks. This was also my first pregnancy. I am only 27 so many people have said "give it time," "no rush", but I can´t turn off my broodiness.

I´ve had mixed opinions from medical staff.

My GP said to wait for a couple of normal periods.

But the ob/gyn on call at the hospital where I had the scan to confirm m/c said to wait for 4 periods.

I really don´t know what to do.

[aquababe]

the problem is that all medical people will give you contractictory advice.

you have to go with your heart.

My rule on ttc again is could i face it if I lost another one so soon. I had 2 mcs on just 2/3 monthsa after my 1st mc and I nknew I wouldn't be able to cope if I lost another one so soon and needed time to mentally prepare myself.

doctors can't tell you when that is

[TheBlonde]

from the miscarriage assoc
There is no evidence to show that when you conceive makes any difference to the risk of miscarriage in your next pregnancy. In most cases, you and your partner are the best judges of when to try again.

[ThePippy]

Thanks everyone for the responses. That all makes so much sense and I completely understand where you are coming from VillageMum when you say about it potentially causing anguish if you end up having to wait to find out if no registered heart beat is because it has stopped developing or because it was just too small due to when it was conceived. I hope you are feeling OK, it is such a horrible thing to go through and even though you know it is common, you also feel so alone.

I do know that I am fully ready to try again even now just days after my ERPC, and I think it will be the only thing that lets me fully get over what has happened. Mind you, aquababe you make a good point about needing to accept that you could deal with another mc if you did get pregnant quickly, and I think if I had 2 in close succession it might be a different story.

I think I will be super paranoid for the next one anyway regardless, so I kind of feel like I might as well get on with it.

[Liney15]

Hi Pippy - Know how you feel I'm nearly 35 and sounds stupid but feel that time is running out (as it took me 18 months to conceive) and then went through a mmc 3 weeks ago.

A lot of people have told me that you are more fertile after a miscarriage due to all those hormones rushing round your body (SIL got pregnant immediately after a mc etc) so we're trying again and think if your ready for it then go for it!

Good luck

[VillageMum]

The Pippy - Hi again,

You go for it! Some people can feel ready to ttc again a week after an ERPC and you may be one of them - only you will know. I wish you all the very best and much strength and happiness.

For myself: I seem to have developed a minor infection within 10 days of having my evacuation, am now on antibiotics. That rules out ttc in this pre-first-period cycle for me. Wishing you good health and keep taking that folic acid! x

[dan39]

Hi Pippy - go with your feelings. I had a mmc at 12 weeks on 4 April this year. It had died at 9 weeks and I was devastated that my body had betrayed me by letting me carry a dead thing for a month.

I had a period on 5 May and on 2 June I was pg aagin. I am now 20 weeks. I too got different advice but the most sensible was in my mind from my GP who siad wait til there is no sign of infection/ bleeding and then do what you feel. We agreed not to 'try' but we did do the deed (and in fact it was really nice as it was a holiday, in a way, from the TTC which had preceeded the mmc).

Its still har and I still don't really believe it will work - have not bought ANYTHING and me ad dh kind of avoid talking about it just in case.

So - there is hope. Do what feels okay.

[nikibythesea]

i had my erpc on friday and on sunday i started to have some abdominal pain - deep aching. i think its less but still delicate - is this normal or could i also have a mild infection? i saw villagemum's note and wondered whether my aching is normal or infection - any ideas?

[poppetmum]

Pippy, Villagemum and others. Wanted to say how sorry I am to hear your news, but also to give you some hope. I had a MMC at 12 weeks, now over 2 years ago. It was absolutely devastating and a total shock so I know what you are feeling. As several people have said here, GP said wait until after first period. I did do this, but I'm not sure it would have mattered - a friend who is a GP later told me it is more so they can date accurately and for emotional reasons (but also you should not try if you have pain/bleeding). I was very fortunate to conceive again straight away and DD is now 2. I know of several other people who this has happened to, so wonder if there is any truth that you are more fertile. Sending you hugs and good luck