taking time off after miscarriage

[Purlease]

I had planned on taking time off to do some work at home this week but only mentioned it to my boss last week after I had a miscarriage. I am now being told I can take time as compassionate leave rather than holiday. While it would be nice to keep my holiday days, I feel a bit of a fraud as I had planned on taking the time off anyway. Moral Dilemma - what would you do?

[SquonkTheBeerGuru]

I think that it would do you no harm whatsoever to take a week off due to mc regardless of what you had previously planned.

I would take the time as compassionate leave and be very, very grateful that you have an understanding boss.

sorry you had the mc.

[Kiansmummy]

Take the time off and be grateful for having a very understanding boss- you need time to heal physically and mentally after a miscarriage, when I had an ectopic pregnancy I was told that I would get paid at my bosses discrection she decided not to pay me!!!!! Needless to say I left straight after the birth of my son!!!! I hope you are ok!!!

[belgo]

Take it as compassionate leave. You need to recover physically and emotionally as Kiansmummy says. That's hardly a holiday!

[Purlease]

It's the fact that I work for such an understanding company that I feel bad.

[belgo]

Don't feel bad. I know from experience that you need time to recover from a miscarriage.

[time4tea]

Purlease - I'm so sorry for your loss

I was given 2 weeks sick leave, it made all the difference to have a bit of time to myself, recover fully, have a bit of a rest, do some gardening, etc.

If you still feel bad, why not put yourself in your manager's shoes - if you were managing a woman who had just had a mc you would want to do what you could to help support her. my colleagues were amazing when I had my mc - it was great that they were so supportive, and it made a good opportunity for me to thank them (my boss esp.) for being great. maybe sending a nice thank you note for the support / box of lovely biscuits to share when you return as a pick-me-up at tea break would make you feel less bad.

take time for yourself, and good luck to you

[Purlease]

Have just spoken to HR - just need to get GP to sign me off. Physically I feel fine but as anyone that has gone through this knows, it is the emotional side of things that takes a bit longer and is a bit harder to heal.

Thanks all for your support.

[PrePG]

don't feel bad. I'm sure if you hadn't had a mc, you would've been doing lots of lovely things on your holiday that you won't necessarily feel up to now. Take what you've been offered - you deserve it.

[scotlass]

I was on sick leave and had booked x3 days annual leave during that period. I can tell you I was doubly grateful to take those days a month after my return to get me through first few weeks of being back. Don't feel bad, your compassionate was definately not holiday leave

[elkiedee]

Don't feel bad, or at least don't feel guilty - about that. You need time off to recover. I'm glad you have such a sympathetic boss, I fear not everyone does.

[Habbibu]

So sorry for your loss. Yes, take it as compassionate leave - you'll need the time to recover, and in a way I think being signed off helps you accept the need to take time and heal - if that makes any sense?

[purplegryffon]

Hi purlease - as you know, I'm going through this myself right now... I felt a bit of a fraud as not physically ill, and my boss had been so lovely and supportive... But boy do I need this 2nd week - I am up and down like a blinking yo-yo! One minute I feel fine, the next am a big sobbing wreck... So (getting to the point) take the time off, be grateful that they have offered it - and take time to heal - work will still be there when you get back - but hopefully you'll have benefitted from the time away... Don't feel guilty... Take care of you x