In the midst of my 3rd miscarriage

[Monique247]

Hi,

I am very depressed today, I think I am in the midst of my 3rd miscarraige - I had one last year at 5.5 months which was horrific, one in March at 5 weeks. I recently discovered on my birthday that I was pregnant (three days ago) - I thought it was the best present ever, I have been so so ecstatic and then today discovered some bleeding and have noticed some cramps too - I am fearing the worst case scenario - I know my body. I wanted to hear from someoene else who can help me or give me some hope that I still may have a baby in the future. It is so so so hard to go through this again. Life can be very cruel.

I hope to hear from someone.

Thanks

Monica

[vonsudenfed]

You poor thing - my heart goes out to you. I know just how utterly despairing and miserable it can be - I had three miscarriages and was coming up to 40, so really worried about whether I would ever have children. But it did work out the fourth time, and dd, sitting on the rug beside me, is now 8 months old.

Do look after yourself, and be looked after.

[daisyandbabybootoo]

hi monica

so sorry for your losses . I've had 2 MC, the latest at 11 weeks so can only imagine what you must have gone through. I have since gone on to have a woderful DD only seven weeks ago.

There are lots of other success stories on here too.

Have you had any bereavement counselling at all, your 1st MC must have been a lot to deal with. The Miscarriage Association have a counselling service who were lovely when I called them after my first MC.

Good Luck for the future

[Jackstini]

Hi Monica,

I have everything crossed for you & hope it is not what you think.

If it is, you asked for hope for the future. My friend is now 15 weeks pregnant with all going well and it is her 4th pregnancy, she miscarried the previous 3. I don't know if you already know this but after 3 mc (& unfortunately not until then) the NHS will look into everything in detail for you and try to find out the reasons they happened. (With my friend, she found out she has Lupus and now she is pregnant needs an injection every day to stop her losing).

I hope you are being looked after well
Good luck with everything

[Monique247]

Do you think it's worth me getting some private tests or do you think I should just keep trying - I dont think I can bare to have another miscarriage - but I so so so want a little baby in my arms....thanks for getting back to me, this is my first time on this site and it is so nice to speak to ladies who have been through the same thing

[Monique247]

they told me that they would carry out lots of tests if it happened again so I guess that will be a step in the right direction - my problem is in my excitement I told my friends thinking i couldn't possibly misscarry again - i've sent a text but the thought of having to tell them is awful...

[Jackstini]

Monica - you will find lots of help and advice from people on here.
If you open the miscarriage/breavement threads you will find lots of people who have been there and while everyone is different, someone will understand a little of how you are feeling.
Re testing - whereabouts in the country are you? My friend is Sheffield and the hospital/tests there were very good
Hopefully someone with a bit more experience or who knows the hospitals near you will be along soon. Hang in there.

[Dropdeadfred]

Sorry you are going through this. I had three consecutive mc's then went o to have dd3.

It can happen! I wish you all the luck in the world when you are ready to try again.

[daisyandbabybootoo]

keeping this bumped for you

I'm sure your friends will be very understanding.

We ummed and ahhed at telling people we were PG again the third time incase it went wrong again, but I reasoned that if people knew, then if it did go wrong I would have some support, rather than having to go through it on our own if we hadn't told anyone.

Get yourself booked into the doctors as soon as you can and get the ball rolling with tests etc.

[Monique247]

I'm in north London - I feel much better now that I have spoken to the miscarriage association. Also I have this thing where I always try and be positive - so as hard as it is i'm going to really try and soldier on - alhtough I have to admit, it is hard to keep picking myself up but I always do - thanks for your support though - I guess sometimes it's easier to talk to strangers...

[Monique247]

I've just spoken to a locum doc and he told me to go to a&e and get myself checked out - I just dont feel like they will be able to do anything at such an early stage....i'm not sure if I should go or not.

[Rach35]

Oh definitely go - they might not do anything there and then but they might refer you to an early pregnancy clinic and get you checked out. Be prepared for A&E to be a little bit abrupt but at least you can get checked (I know north London hospitals - they are frazzled staff)..... Take DP or DH or a really good friend and good luck xx

[daisyandbabybootoo]

monique, if you do decide to try again, their isa TTC after MC support thread and a pregnant after MC support thread; the latter got me through a very tense first few months with support, laughter, encouragement and a friendly ear and word of advice when it was needed.

I'm not sure about A&E. I went with my first MC and all they did was a pregnancy test and check the amount of loss on the pad, kept me in for a few hours incase things got worse and told me on discharge to call the early pregnancy unit the next day as they couldn't scan me in A&E.

Do whatever you feel is right for you though

[Mumpbump]

Sorry to hear that you are having to go through this... Definitely go and get checked out, if only for peace of mind. Make sure you go back to your doctor's and get referred. They will investigate after 3 consecutive m/c.

I had two, so not quite comparable, but my gp did say that as they were at completely different stages, 15 weeks and 5 weeks, it was most probably just bad luck. I am now 30 weeks pg on third attempt! I think if your m/c were all around the same time, that would be more worrying, but there are a couple of ladies on my antenatal thread who have had LOADS of m/c, and I mean about 5 or 6, who are now also in their third trimester so definitely do NOT despair...

[smilesattheweekend]

Hi

Sorry for your losses. I had my 3rd mc last monday (first one was 6 weeks, second 11 weeks and this one 7 weeks), I am under the early pg unit at my hospital. They have taken bloods and I have an appointment in September to see a consultant who deals with recurrent mc. I would most certainly get yourself referred as they can offer lots of help and support. They have told me to get in touch with them if I get pg again as they may give aspirin and/or heparin.

Make sure you get someone to take notice of you and refer you.

X

[Monique247]

thank you girls for being there - this may sound strange but i'm finding it hard to speak to some of my closest friends, i'm not even sure why - I find i'm speaking to people that I haven't known that long instead - it's almost like i'm embarrassed to admit it's happened again - or that I dont want to be felt sorry for - do you know what i mean - anwyay all i know is that you all are makeing me feel much better so massive hug

[smilesattheweekend]

Don't feel bad at not being able to talk to people. I find MNet so much help, you get so much support from people who really understand and I think it sometimes just helps writing/typing how you feel.

((((((((hugs)))))))

[Monique247]

it's a strange feeling knowing that i've had three miscarriages - it's like something you heard when you were growing up but never thought it would happen to you

what do you do afterwards - do you just pick up and try again or do you accept that something is not right...

[orangecat]

I'm in the 3 mc club too. 2 x 8 weeks and 1 x 12 weeks (thought 12 weeks was horrific, but just can't imagine going through that at 5.5 months, Poor you ).

I can offer hope, though - now 29 weeks pregnant with my second .

I almost went for tests, but decided to give it one last go. Probably more about being too scared to go through the tests than anything else. So I guess I would advise you to be braver than I was and go for them.

Really hope it all works out for you. As Mumpbump says there are lots of stories of repeated mc and then successful pregnancies - so def worth keeping a positive attitude and not giving up.

[Monique247]

thanks ladies - it's been harder to deal with now that i'm at home, at least at work i was having to put on a brave face and get on with it - at home it's all become so real. I feel really upset but reading about ladies who have gone on to have successful pregnancies despite multiple miscarriages is giving me both strength to deal with this and hope. I have an app at the EPU on 6th Aug, I guess i'll turn up, have the scan and then kick and scream until they give me tests. It's a real comfort to be able to tell you all how I feel and know that you understand - so big hug to you all for replying...

xxx

[jellybeans]

Very very sorry for your losses and wishing you good luck ahead xx I have had 4 losses at 6, 11, 20, and 23 weeks. I also have 4 living children from 3 term pregnancies. I had tests after my 20 week loss and they found I have Lupus type antibodies that can cause loss at any stage and multiple losses. I just wanted to give you hope and ((hugs)) x

[poppy34]

Monica-just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss and how I do feel for you. I had 2 m/c at 7 and 8 weeks last year then a termination for abnormalities at 21 weeks earlier this week.

just be kind to yourself - I found this board a lifeline . I also found bereavement counselling really helpful in trying to make me feel more positive about having a baby.