2 MCs in 3 months- feeling broken

(13 Posts)
Bails4444 Sat 23-Jul-16 07:51:09

Hi all
This is my first post on a forum but I'm desperately hoping to hear from people in a similar situation or who've been through the same.

I had a MMC in March followed by an ERPC. Luckily we conceived very quickly after but sadly I have just had another MC, this time naturally.

I'm totally shell shocked and feel broken. I have a beautiful 2 year old but I'm convinced I'll never have a healthy pregnancy again. I feel such guilt that I'm letting everyone around me down. And such sadness.

I struggled psychologically after MC 1, I just don't know how I'll be able to get through this. Can't stop crying.

Any words of wisdom or support would be very grateful.

Do I try again? Do I wait? Do I pay for tests privately?

Thank you in advance!

Archedbrowse Sat 23-Jul-16 09:22:22

flowers hugs

I have been through this too, consecutive mc close together, it's horrible.

Give yourself time to grieve, take time off work of applicable/feasible don't let other people minimise your grief.

And don't lose hope. This little poem kept me going through some of the worst times:

“Hope” is the thing with feathers -
That perches in the soul -
And sings the tune without the words -
And never stops - at all -

Charlb123 Sat 23-Jul-16 20:34:17

Currently going though my first miscarriage and I cannot cope. There's no way I can go through this again and cannot imagine going through it 3 times. I can't stop crying and feel so alone. My husband is being supportive but just feel like he doesn't understand

Lizziedoll Sat 23-Jul-16 20:34:42

I am going through a mc at the moment, my first and only pregnancy. I am also shell shocked and broken. I am sorry for your loss, you are not alone flowers

Bails4444 Sun 24-Jul-16 05:03:41

Thank you all for replying and for your support/words. It is reassuring to know my feelings are normal. Sorry for all your losses. The physical and emotional pain is just horrendous.

Archedbrowse, did you TTC again after your consecutive miscarriages? Did you have any tests done? Hope you don't mind me asking.

Charlb123, I totally understand that feeling of loneliness and isolation, but you're not alone. I have an amazing hubby too but we deal with things very differently. Just keep talking - to your husband, friends, family, on here, that's my only advice.

Lizziedoll, I'm so sorry for your loss too. I hope you have plenty of support around you.

Archedbrowse Sun 24-Jul-16 09:57:30

flowers to you all, be kind to yourselves.

I went on to have 2 healthy babies.
I couldn't get anyone to do any tests and it was massively frustrating. Kept being told it was 'very common' 'just one of those things'. They were meant to be comforting but wasn't to me. As it turned out, for me, those things were true however, at the time you just want answers, some kind of plan of action.
It's so hard and I wish you all the luck for the future.

Lizziedoll Sun 24-Jul-16 19:45:09

archedbrowse thank you for sharing that beautiful poem with us, it has brought me some comfort

Monkeybug Mon 25-Jul-16 17:43:38

I am so very sorry for your devastating losses, I had two miscarriages six months apart, one a Missed miscarriage and the other a very early loss, they were with my ex partner, some years later I have a new partner and two beautiful girls, 2 and 11 weeks, but had a miscarriage after DD1, Like you I felt, shock, guilt and absolutely devastated, I had counselling after the second one which helped. You are not letting anyone down at all. I pushed for some tests after the second mc, no reasons ever found. I really have come to the conclusion that pregnancy is so out of our control. Perhaps you could have a few days away as a family, be kind to yourself, and allow yourself to grieve, it's such an isolating feeling as you are not grieving with family if that makes sense it is a loss you feel alone with. Keep talking to friends/family, times does heal. I didn't wait to try again after my mc but that is up to you, try again when you feel ready. Good idea to get the tests done privately if you feel this will help, even if they find no underlying cause, it can give some reassurance, or speak to your gp, I did and explained the affect it was having on me emotionally and was referred from there. Sending you loads of love.

JudyCoolibar Mon 25-Jul-16 17:45:45

If you've had one child, the chances are that you will be able to have another. I had two miscarriages after DC1, then went on to have two more children. I would however suggest that you leave it for at least three months before TTC again to give your body the best chance to recover.

Archedbrowse Mon 25-Jul-16 22:24:10

lizziedoll I'm glad, it comforted me too.

Bails4444 Tue 26-Jul-16 05:37:12

Thank you so much for all your replies. I'm finding positive outcomes very reassuring.

limon Wed 27-Jul-16 08:30:12

I had miscarriages in short succession. It is very hard to deal with but you will. I went on to have dd (now 4). I suggest to anyone having recurrent miscarriages to research aspirin and discuss with GP/consultant.

Imaginosity Sat 30-Jul-16 00:05:10

I had DC1, then a miscarriage, then Dc2, followed by 4 miscarriages in a row. I'm now 32 weeks pregnant. I had given up any hope of having another child after the 4 consecutive miscarriages. Two of miscarriages were missed miscarriages at 12 weeks. They did tests after the fourth one but never found a reason, I think this is quite common. They put me on baby aspirn when I got pregnant this time. I'm not sure if that prevented a miscarriage or not.

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