Today would have been my due date

[Bonywasawarriorwayayix]

Today would have been my due date.
I lost our little Bean at 10 weeks (discovered at around 12 weeks) when we were in Switzerland last October.
Far away from friends and family, it was so hard. We have DS and I remember cuddling up to his little toddler body when he was asleep and crying for my broken heart and broken dreams ( 'she' already had a name).
We're not going to TTC again for various reasons. I'm so grateful to have happy, healthy DS.
So I wanted to say "Goodbye Bean. We will always think of our special place up the mountain and remember how much we loved you, albeit briefly".

[chelle792]

My due date was five weeks ago. It was horrible. I too lost late in the trimester - 11.5 weeks. Things weirdly lifted and felt more manageable after my due date. Hope you're ok

[rainbowstardrops]

Sending you OP for the loss of your little bean.
I lost my first baby nearly nineteen years ago and still think of 'him' often. It does get easier though

[Cheesecake53]

[KittyandTeal]

I'm so sorry bony.

Be kind to yourself today. Are you doing anything to mark it? I didn't do anything to mark dd2s specifically, we were abroad and I quietly took myself off and collected a few shells on the beach for her memory box. We mark her 'birthday' though. I think I will do similar with ds.

I did find things a bit easier after my due date last year.

We, like you, won't be trying for another which somehow adds to the sadness and grief. I hope the day is as peaceful as it can be.

[Bonywasawarriorwayayix]

Thanks for listening everyone. for your losses.
chelle I was hoping that would happen. It seems to be.
Thank you for your thoughts Kitty. I've read your posts but not known what I could add to help. We are away at the moment. I didn't want to risk seeing all the friends I made through DS who have all had second DCs within the last few months. I was up early and thought of her in the beautiful morning sun.

[KittyandTeal]

That's exactly how I felt. I didn't want to have to drive past the hospital I was due to give birth in (that I'd already done)

Being away from it helped a bit. I always find a bit of sunshine makes me feel a bit better too. It sounds glib but it's true

[JOMH1982]

Hi, it's my due date today as well, lost our darling daughter at 19+6 on 15th December. It's just hideous, isn't it. Thinking of you x

[robynlaurie]

[purpleRH]

Dear OP, apologies this is a little late but I can't imagine how hard this is for you, I hope you are looking after yourself.