I'm miscarrying - and I'm all over the place.

(16 Posts)
1001questions Tue 29-Mar-16 07:47:04

I think I'm having a miscarriage sad

My period was 10 days late (I'm very regular) and I started having severe nausea and tender breasts from last thursday, I knew immediately it was pregnancy and was so convinced that I didn't even take a test, which I now feel stupid for. I was very anxious because it wasn't planned and I was working out what to say to my partner. However I was also very excited as I have been wanting a baby for years and had thought it was probably too late now (I'm 38).

Anyway last night I started spotting and it quickly became more like a period with heavy, bright red blood. It's a mc, isn't it sad

I would only have been about 5 weeks and don't know what to expect from here. Do I need to see a doctor? Should I take a test now? I have heard it might still show positive if I was pg and I think I want to know for certain that I was actually pregnant, and not just going completely mad and imagining the symptoms. However I don't think I was; I have been pregnant once before but had to terminate as I was young and on my own - and the symptoms were unmistakable.

Another thing and this is a hard one - I think I might have brought on the mc myself because of a couple of things i did. and this is making me just want to die sad. The other thing that is strange is that even though I'm devastated, on one level I'm almost relieved as I was so scared about what was happening. Right now I just don't know where my head is at.

Can anyone help? I just don't know what to do or expect from here. The cramps are pretty bad now - and I still feel sick. But I'm not holding out any hope that it's just a random bleed.

KittyandTeal Tue 29-Mar-16 12:41:50

I'm sorry you're going through this 💐

If you take a test now it will probably show up positive if that will help you know. The hcg usually stays in your system for a while.

If you are 5 weeks it is likely to be like a very heavy period. I would get some decent painkillers in. See how it goes because there are posters here who have bled at 5 weeks and gone on to have healthy pregnancies. That is uncommon though.

You will not have brought this on yourself. Unless you have ordered illegal abortion pills online or pushed something up into your uterus you will not have caused this. Babies/foetuses at this stage are very resilient if they are healthy. If this is a MC it is more likely that the baby had major chromosomal issues or was not developing properly.

Try to be kind to yourself

SouthDownsSunshine Tue 29-Mar-16 12:45:46

Massive hugs. At 5+ weeks, it'll be like a heavy period. I'd call your gp and get it confirmed, and they may also want to do a scan at your early pregnancy unit.

There's very little you can do to cause a miscarriage, so don't blame yourself.

purpleflower23 Tue 29-Mar-16 13:55:50

So sorry 1001 flowers

As Kitty says, you should still get a positive test result so I would do a home test and then call the GP and tell him/her that you've had a positive test but that you're bleeding and are worried it's a miscarriage. They'll likely get you a scan in the next few days at your local Early Pregnancy Assessment Unit which should confirm whether or not it is a miscarriage.

As others have said, please do not blame yourself. This is not your fault.

Have you got someone who can be with you/go to the hospital with you?

Take care xx

MoreCakeMoreCake Tue 29-Mar-16 14:01:28

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I have had the same happen twice at a similar stage of pg to you.

Agree with all pp that you should go and see your GP - they should refer you for a scan and possibly blood tests. If it is a miscarriage please know that there is NOTHING you could have done to cause it.

Please don't blame yourself; I know it's easy to look for rhyme and reason but sometimes these things just happen.

On a practical level, make sure you have pain meds at home and heavy duty towels (not tampons). Can someone be with you at home? Hot water bottles too.

Look after yourself and rest up flowers

1001questions Tue 29-Mar-16 15:03:27

So... Another bit of a shock today, took the pregnancy test shortly after posting this morning and it was a definite negative.

Only top of everything else I am now wondering if it's even possible if I imagined these (very pronounced) symptoms, and I think this will make it much harder to get closure. I hate myself for not doing one at the time.

I'm still in a lot of pain though. Just can't get my head around any of this. I feel very spaced out and weird. On the plus side my partner is being v supportive although he isn't here at the moment.

1001questions Tue 29-Mar-16 15:24:41

I can't really have imagined it can I? The symptoms were pretty much identical to what I had with my last pregnancy, right down to the heightened sense of smell and almost vomiting at the smell of anything cooking. I also lost 5 pounds in weight through being completely unable to eat for the entire time and am now medically underweight...

KittyandTeal Tue 29-Mar-16 15:46:46

There is a chance that you hcg has dropped below the level that a hpt can pick up. Or you could have been late. You know your body best

1001questions Tue 29-Mar-16 15:54:58

I've never felt anything like what I did in the past couple of weeks other than when I was pregnant, and I've never been more than a week late. But not knowing is killing me. I feel like I'm on the verge of a breakdown right now sad

Writerwannabe83 Thu 31-Mar-16 08:15:12

I'm sorry you are experiencing this.

I recently had a miscarriage at 5-6 weeks and I had a negative result on three different HPTs before the bleeding actually started. Prior to the negatives my lines had been getting gradually lighter for about two days (I am an obsessive tester).

flowers

1001questions Thu 31-Mar-16 09:00:12

Thanks for the reply. Do got mine me asking how long it took for things to get back to normal afterwards? Physically I mean. I'm feeling like I'm still on a bad period at the moment, but tbh I think I'm mainly feeling the effects of not being able to eat more then a few crumbs for nearly 2 weeks.

Writerwannabe83 Thu 31-Mar-16 13:34:46

I didn't feel sick or anything but the heavy, clotted bleeding lasted about two days and then it went really light and was over within another two days. I had bad cramps for the first day of heavy bleeding especially but then that eased off.

It happened almost three weeks ago now and physically I'm fine, but emotionally I still have my bad days sad

1001questions Thu 31-Mar-16 15:49:48

Hey. That is more or less exactly my experience so far.

Sorry to hear you're still struggling emotionally. I can see this getting harder as you try to get back to normal and to others it looks like absolutely nothing has happened. I don't know if you told anyone but I've found it helped to tell work I was having some personal issues without going into any more detail, but I have no idea what people will make of that.

Writerwannabe83 Thu 31-Mar-16 18:18:31

Well I work with babies, from as young as 3 days old up until usually about 12 months old. Being surrounded by babies every day is very, very hard. I have had 5 shifts back at work (after my GP had signed me off sick for two weeks) and I have cried at least twice on every shift - and I mean inconsolable sobbing. It's so difficult.

1001questions Thu 31-Mar-16 19:39:07

I'm so sorry to hear that, that must be very hard. I'm probably lucky in that I work in a very 'grown up' environment and going back to work has thus provided a bit of an escape, but it's still hard to stay focused. Hope you're looking after yourself.

Sunflower1985 Thu 31-Mar-16 21:02:48

I had an early mc nearly 2 weeks ago. I had a scan 2 days in and they said they wouldn't have known I was pg if it wasn't for my hormone levels. I had a blood test 1 day in and 3 days in and the levels had more than halved. They dropped that quickly.
I think I know if I had been longer in it would have been harder but it's still blooming hard. I miss my much wanted little peppercorn.
Fwiw the hospital was very keen on scanning to rule out eptopic pg.
flowers

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