sister in law baby due around same time as mine would have been , found out gender

(2 Posts)
Hopefullywaiting Wed 30-Sep-15 22:13:23

Hi
I had a early miscarriage last year. I was really devestated, the baby was so wanted and we had discussed what we thought the sex of the baby would be ( a girl) just before we lost the baby ( though we kept this to ourselves). I found it emotionally hard and also difficult to grieve properly as It was early (first trimester) and i was made to feel like I should move on pretty quickly. I still struggle with it and think of it most days, although I hide it quite well.

I found out recently via Facebook that my sister In law is pregnant . I felt sad to find out this way and quite hurt as I thought we were quite close. However I have worked hard to put that aside and to focus on being happy for her. I have made sure I have expressed to her i am happy for her and have kept contact showing interest in her pregnancy and support for a scans appointments ect while making sure she dosnt feel bombarded.

I am finding it difficult not to also feel sad as the baby is due around the same time as my baby would have been. I found out today the baby is a Girl.

I am feeling particularly low today and sad and like shutting myself off. I feel guilty for feeling this way. It didn't help that I have just received aunt flow today . I have been ttc for 12 months now since my mc and I really hoped to have fallen by now. I also have health issues and will not be able to carrying on ttc for much longer. if it doesn't happen in the next cycle I will have to take break for a while so it feels all the more final and desolate. I don't imagine the hormones help.
If you read this far then Thank-you for reading
Xx

chelle792 Wed 30-Sep-15 22:23:03

My goodness, you poor thing. I really feel for you. My friend is having a baby and would have been six months older than mine. Also just found out that a very good friend is having a baby with his girlfriend, due two weeks after me. I lost my baby about a month ago at 11 weeks.

Its a weird one being happy for them but also so acutely feeling the heart break.

Please don't feel like you need to get over your baby. The only person you were ever that connected to before was your mum when she carried you. It's a connection like no other. Symbiosis is powerful and so very meaningful. Your grief is so so valid and you are entitled to feel angry, sad, jealous, guilty, etc.

Take care of yourself flowers

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