Waiting to try again?

[Sophia1984]

Hi everyone,

I'm currently having a miscarriage at 7 weeks. The pregnancy was planned (I'd come off the pill and tracked ovulation) but not expected so quickly. The more we've thought about it we've realised it wouldn't have been a good time to have a child. We haven't been able to afford to buy a home, and money would have been a worry as we're living on one income. We have other stressful things happening in our life, and it wouldn't have been fair to bring a baby into that. In a way that brings some peace, but it also brings anxieties. I'm 32 in February and had already been worrying about increased in various risks at my age. Now that we're going to wait a year or two that anxiety increases. Even though I know miscarriages are common, I still worry that having one means another would be unbearable. I am also left with a sense of guilt that I as being selfish wanting a child and not considering whether we could provide a good life for him or her. It seems like a lot of people move on from a miscarriage by TTC again. Is there anyone who didn't do this?

[amymb86]

You just need to do what you feel is right. However I think there will always be reasons to wait or keep trying now.

[amymb86]

Whoops, accidentally posted it.
Are you hoping to be able buy a house before you have children?
In my situation, I am almost 29 and came off the pill but didn't plan on tracking my cycle. I became pregnant fairly quickly. I was so scared at first but then became excited. I just miscarried at 11 weeks (mmc 8+4) and I was devastated. As awful as it sounds, I would like to ttc more so than before. I also realised that me and my husband are in a better situation than some people are when they find out they are pregnant (in a stable relationship, happy and can support ourselves).
Maybe see how you feel in a couple of months?

[Sophia1984]

So sorry to hear about your loss. It's really hard when you've got excited isn't it? I don't think that sounds awful at all! For me it's not so much the lack of house as a general lack of stability (my job's not entirely secure and mine is the main wage) - hopefully we'll be in a better position next year. Wishing you the best of luck xx

[Blueskies80]

Sorry for your loss.
Like you I've not tried again straight away, I had a fairly traumatic mmc in April. Lots of blood loss. I couldn't even begin to think about trying again straight away as I felt so ill, and then I fell down the stairs and fractured my coccyx so that was it for another month or so! And so here we are in September!
It's a personal decision and depends on circumstances. You'll know when the time is right! 32 is fine too, best if luck xx