How long to conceive after miscarriage at 17 weeks

[Cheryln3372]

Hi everyone I am just wondering if anyone has had a successful pregnancy after a missed miscarriage at 17 weeks pregnant and also how long did it take to get pregnant again?
I have just had a missed miscarriage at 17 weeks pregnant. We went for a routine consultant appointment last Thursday, I was actually looking forward to our appointment, I was not ready for the shock we had. The doctor couldn't find the babies heartbeat so they sent me down for a scan, who confirmed there was no heartbeat and the baby had died the week before. I was absolutely devastated. I went back on Friday for the tablet, and then I went in on sunday to be induced. It was the most horrible experience of my life, I gave birth to our baby, and we held it and took photos. We were given a memory box off the hospital. We have agreed to a post mortem, and have to wait 8 weeks for the results. I still can't really believe what has happened, and I am constantly crying. I keep thinking it's a horrible nightmare and I need to wake up. We know we want to try again as soon as I stop bleeding, but I am so scared of it happening again and also I am scared of it taking ages to fall pregnant again as it took 10 months in the first place. Also previous to this miscarriage I had a miscarriage in august last year at 5 weeks. Has anyone had a successful pregnancy after two miscarriages? How long did it take to conceive again? Thanks xx

[Smilelikeyoufeelit]

So sorry for your loss. I could have written your post myself when I lost a baby at 18 weeks a few years ago although mine was due to my waters breaking, possibly from infection. To answer your question about getting pregnant after, I bled for about 2 months, had one normal period and then got pregnant again. So about 4 months later I was pregnant with my son. It took me over a year to get pregnant the first time so I was surprised that it had happened so quickly.
I always meant to do something to remember the baby that we lost but never did. While I remember it clearly, the pain has faded and the only time it upsets me now is on the day that it happened and the baby's due date although it's only me that seems to remember them. My second child was due on the same date which felt a bit strange but in the end was born earlier than that.
Be kind to yourself, it's very early days and crying is normal. You will start to feel better. Someone said to me, you won't forget but you will learn to live with it and I think that's true. It took a while but all of a sudden I would find that I had got to lunchtime without thinking about it, the teatime, then a whole day and so on.

[patienceisvirtuous]

So sorry for your loss :(

I think usual advice is that you can start trying again after you've had a period.

Hugs to you and your other half. It's awful, I know x

[chandelierswinger]

So sorry for your loss

The usual advice seems to be the wait until after the first "normal" period.

Be kind to yourself

[wonkylegs]

I honestly don't know, sorry for your loss, can't help with anything but empathy. We lost our baby at 15 weeks, it took us 2 years to get pregnant and the loss was devastating. We have been trying for 7months, apparently 1year after miscarriage is the norm, every month I cross my fingers.
It's really hard, don't forget to give yourselves both time and support to grieve as its not an easy thing despite the fact that it's usually not spoken about, I found it easier to occasionally talk about it as it was such a big event for us it felt wrong to ignore it.

[ThePopAndCry]

First of all, I am very sorry for your loss. I lost my dd at 20 weeks back in February and, like you, only found out when we went for the routine scan. It was devastating and life changing but, six months on, the overwhelming grief has been replaced by a more gentle sadness. I think this is in part thanks to counselling. I still have days when I am very angry that we lost her and disbelief that I'm not holding her. She should have been 2 months old by now and she was very much wanted.
Regards ttc: it's entirely up to you but you might want to talk to a consultant at your local recurrent miscarriage clinic first. You say you have already had an early miscarriage but a second trimester loss is a very rare event. As such, the RCOG guidelines say you are entitled to the tests that are usually only available to women that have had 3, recurrent early losses. If the results of these tests and/or the pm reveal an underlying medical issue then you may want to make sure you have a treatment plan in place before trying again. Another major part of my healing process has been going for all these tests and seeking out second and alternative opinions from experts in different hospitals. This, along with a lot of googling, has helped me come to terms with what happened and helped me to understand why it, along with my 3 first trimester miscarriages, did. Finally, I have gained an enormous amount of support from the ladies on the recurrent miscarriage thread. It's a really shitty club to be part of but there is a huge amount of knowledge, support and information available there that has been invaluable. X